Playful slaps with OH - Is it on?
Discussion
Something a bit different maybe?
Anyway been with SWMBO nearly three years now, but over the past year I have had feelings that she's lacking respect for me somewhat. There's been a couple other things that have brought on these thoughts, but the main one is the "playful" slapping on the face. Now, I'm all for little taps on the bum as affection, or a little tap on the arm when responding to a cheeky comment or whatnot, but lately she's been doing these playful slaps on the face, and i've said several times NOT to do it because it's annoying, and yet tonight she did it again, and I finally blown my top.
It's silly really, but we were just watching TV and Ellie Gouldings variety performance was on. At one point her huge dress lifts up, and fireworks drape over it. I say "Wow did you see that? Her dress looks cool with them lights!" to which she says "don't be stupid, it's the background" and slaps me across the face pretty hard while laughing and calling me a silly goose? I know that it's silly to fall out over a bloody tv show, but it was just the slap that really pissed me off. It was totally uncalled for and just shows a lack of respect imo. I've now went off for a drive to calm down, no sign of an apology from her yet...
What do I do?
Oh and my apologies if this seems silly or childish. Just curious of opinions or if any of you ever experienced something similiar.
Anyway been with SWMBO nearly three years now, but over the past year I have had feelings that she's lacking respect for me somewhat. There's been a couple other things that have brought on these thoughts, but the main one is the "playful" slapping on the face. Now, I'm all for little taps on the bum as affection, or a little tap on the arm when responding to a cheeky comment or whatnot, but lately she's been doing these playful slaps on the face, and i've said several times NOT to do it because it's annoying, and yet tonight she did it again, and I finally blown my top.
It's silly really, but we were just watching TV and Ellie Gouldings variety performance was on. At one point her huge dress lifts up, and fireworks drape over it. I say "Wow did you see that? Her dress looks cool with them lights!" to which she says "don't be stupid, it's the background" and slaps me across the face pretty hard while laughing and calling me a silly goose? I know that it's silly to fall out over a bloody tv show, but it was just the slap that really pissed me off. It was totally uncalled for and just shows a lack of respect imo. I've now went off for a drive to calm down, no sign of an apology from her yet...
What do I do?
Oh and my apologies if this seems silly or childish. Just curious of opinions or if any of you ever experienced something similiar.
iphonedyou said:
Seems a bit odd. But then, so is your use of 'respect' in this context, which comes across a bit master-and-subordinate. Tell her to stop - she probably will as you lost your temper tonight - but don't mention respect in the way you have here.
Good luck!
Thanks for that. Just to clarify about the respect thing, it wasn't meant as I "do as I say" way or anything like that. I just meant that to me personally, having respect for your partner obviously includes things like being faithful, being considerate etc, but that just slapping someone across the face for no reason is just disrespectful. I would never dream of doing it to her whether playful or otherwise, so why does she see it as acceptable? Good luck!
Hope that clears up the whole respect term...probably didn't.
Thanks all. This has actually happened twice before, with the last time being at my Dads birthday gathering in the summer. In fairness it had much less force to it, however I was still deeply embarrassed so I brought it up with her in the morning. She was very apologetic and seemed to see how much it irked me, and I thought that was that...obviously not!
I'll be heading home soon and having a good think tomorrow. It's just tough as she really is amazing and I love her to pieces, but I've been wondering if I should just finish, as she's really been testing me lately. I'm only 22 so feel like I shouldn't be having the stress that she causes me sometimes! I'm just very conflicted at the moment so will think about it more when I have a clear head!
Anymore comments are welcome. Thanks again btw.
I'll be heading home soon and having a good think tomorrow. It's just tough as she really is amazing and I love her to pieces, but I've been wondering if I should just finish, as she's really been testing me lately. I'm only 22 so feel like I shouldn't be having the stress that she causes me sometimes! I'm just very conflicted at the moment so will think about it more when I have a clear head!
Anymore comments are welcome. Thanks again btw.
Morning fellas.
Many thanks for all of the replays, it has given me lots to think about. I arrived last night to her being very apologetic, crying etc - the works. I listened to what she had to say, but mainly just went to bed and would rather discuss it when she wakes up. For those of you asking, yes I am having second thoughts. She has been incredibly testing this last 8-12 months, and considering it's not really something I should put up with, I am considering calling it off. Overall though I'm very conflicted, as I really do adore her and she isn't a bad person or anything like that, just has these couple annoying quirks that can really test your patience. And to answer the above, yes I do prefer an actual relationship, and yes we do live together however it's my house and I pay for it, so I wouldn't have any issues slinging her out. Oh and just to add, no I would never hit her or slap her back...pretty sure most of the replays suggesting such were joking anyway.
So that's me, a very conflicted fella wondering what to do about her. I must admit, I'm swaying towards the "sponge punch and fling out the door" option.
Many thanks for all of the replays, it has given me lots to think about. I arrived last night to her being very apologetic, crying etc - the works. I listened to what she had to say, but mainly just went to bed and would rather discuss it when she wakes up. For those of you asking, yes I am having second thoughts. She has been incredibly testing this last 8-12 months, and considering it's not really something I should put up with, I am considering calling it off. Overall though I'm very conflicted, as I really do adore her and she isn't a bad person or anything like that, just has these couple annoying quirks that can really test your patience. And to answer the above, yes I do prefer an actual relationship, and yes we do live together however it's my house and I pay for it, so I wouldn't have any issues slinging her out. Oh and just to add, no I would never hit her or slap her back...pretty sure most of the replays suggesting such were joking anyway.
So that's me, a very conflicted fella wondering what to do about her. I must admit, I'm swaying towards the "sponge punch and fling out the door" option.
pherlopolus said:
I think the OP is under a patio now....
:wave:Well, thanks for the laughs and advice fellas. The image of BSR's idea about calling her a "daft wood pigeon" had me in tears.
Anyway, decided to call it off with her in the end. It really wasn't worth the grief she was causing, I feel like I deserve someone better. Now looking forward to some single fun, plus I get to return all the expensive Christmas gifts I bought her and spend it on nights out...Win win.
STW2010 said:
How did she react? Any violence such as headbutts or a kick to the gonads?
Truth be told, no. Lots of tears, frustration and confusion, followed lately by lots of calls and texts begging to give her another chance, she'll never do it again etc. If I'm honest, I have wondered whether it was a mistake, but I think I'll get over that, and all I have to do in think of the stress she has caused and it fades away.Don't get me wrong, she's not a BAD person. Beautiful, funny, (mostly) caring...I just think something changed, as she really wasn't the same person that I fell in love with. I will always love her, I just think it had ran it's course.
blindswelledrat said:
Yes, but there are a few steps in between, for crying out loud.
>slap< Ow. You b
h
>slap< I mean it. That isn't funny
>slap< You're really asking for it now
>slap< Have some back you wretched fat cow >slap<
>cry< NOt actually funny is it?
The OP is actually mental
>slap< Don't do that, it's fking irritating
>slap< Leaves the house in fury. Returns and finishes with his bird
PH: Good for you. DOmestic violence is domestic violence.
This thread defies reason
How does that make me mental though? If you read the posts I made earlier, she has done this multiple times before, and every time I made it very clear that it was NOT on and that I did not like it. Alas, she did it yet again, so I had enough.>slap< Ow. You b
h>slap< I mean it. That isn't funny
>slap< You're really asking for it now
>slap< Have some back you wretched fat cow >slap<
>cry< NOt actually funny is it?
The OP is actually mental
>slap< Don't do that, it's f
king irritating>slap< Leaves the house in fury. Returns and finishes with his bird
PH: Good for you. DOmestic violence is domestic violence.
This thread defies reason
While I'm not saying it was the only reason for the breakup, it was essentially like throwing a huge can of petrol into my well fuelled throughts that were swaying we towards a breakup.
I think a lot of you have misunderstood just how this went about, probably from the "playful" part in the title I admit.
It's simple really, she has done it a few times and each time she has done it, I made it very clear that I did NOT like it and that it would be preferable that she didn't do it again. If you didn't like your partner pinching your arm, or using too much teeth during a blowwy (sorry :hehe) then surely you would say something? I did not for one second think of this as domestic violence or myself as a victim of such, it was just an incredibly annoying situation that I wanted insight on. Thanks to advice here and having a good think, I have then decided to end the relationship. The slapping wasn't the only reason (i won't go into the others), but it was a big bloody part of it frankly, as having to tell her to stop multiple times already beforehand just made me think that she will probably never stop it.
My phone has been inundated with texts/calls from herself and friends/family ranging from utter rage and "Ohhh how could you, what a nasty piece of work you are" etc up to literal congratulations and invites for piss ups, and frankly I find it hilarious how a majority of people she has told seem to think I am the bad guy for not taking her back and trying to work it out. Well I'm sorry, but multiple attempts were made beforehand and none of them worked. No matter what though, the final fact is that I feel like I deserve to be happy in life, and that's not something I was getting from the relationship, at least not in a majority sense, as the stressful and rough times that naturally occur, far outweighed the good times.
It's simple really, she has done it a few times and each time she has done it, I made it very clear that I did NOT like it and that it would be preferable that she didn't do it again. If you didn't like your partner pinching your arm, or using too much teeth during a blowwy (sorry :hehe) then surely you would say something? I did not for one second think of this as domestic violence or myself as a victim of such, it was just an incredibly annoying situation that I wanted insight on. Thanks to advice here and having a good think, I have then decided to end the relationship. The slapping wasn't the only reason (i won't go into the others), but it was a big bloody part of it frankly, as having to tell her to stop multiple times already beforehand just made me think that she will probably never stop it.
My phone has been inundated with texts/calls from herself and friends/family ranging from utter rage and "Ohhh how could you, what a nasty piece of work you are" etc up to literal congratulations and invites for piss ups, and frankly I find it hilarious how a majority of people she has told seem to think I am the bad guy for not taking her back and trying to work it out. Well I'm sorry, but multiple attempts were made beforehand and none of them worked. No matter what though, the final fact is that I feel like I deserve to be happy in life, and that's not something I was getting from the relationship, at least not in a majority sense, as the stressful and rough times that naturally occur, far outweighed the good times.
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