Ive hit rock bottom hold me guy's!

[TheBurgerKing]

A few weeks ago i lost the love of my life in a tragic accident, She was the only serious partner ive ever had we got together when i was 17 or 18 and im now 29. My entire world has fallen down around me ive never felt pain like this in my life, its changed my entire perspective on whats important in life, all the times i could have and should have treated her better all the arguments we had i wish i could go back and change it all but its too late, sure we had plenty of great times also but i can't stop thinking "what if". Words can not describe the pain im going through it makes every other obstacle ive ever encounter in life seems small and ridiculous i would not wish this feeling on my worst enemy even if they murdered my family i would not wish this on anybody i know that sounds crazy but words can honestly not describe this pain.

It feels like i have nothing to live for anymore, i was driving around in my brand new bmw company car ( which at one point made me feel like "i had made it" feeling like the loneliest person on the planet seeing a guy in a run down vauxhall corsa who at one point i would have ignorantly thought (wow i would hate to live a life having to drive one of these) in my rear view mirror talking to his partner with a smile on his face , going about everyday life seeing people smiling happy couples holding hands etc none of them with any clue or idea what i am going through my heart is broken and i feel like ive got to handle this all on my own.

Last week i handed in my notice, i don't care about working a job that in my heart i hate and dose not for fill me i don't care about having a brand new bmw anymore this has really shown me whats important in life. I can't even belive i came onto piston heads to pour my heart out but i have nobody else to talk to, i don't want to resort to going to the doctors and taking pills to cover the pain i refuse to start drinking and taking drugs my partner would never want to see me life that, I would love to hear from anybody who has hit rock bottom at some point in their life that can give me some advice on moving forward and dealing with the pain please never take your loved ones for granted guys ive learn't the hardest way imaginable.

[TheBurgerKing]

Joey Ramone said:

others have felt how you are feeling now, and they've made their way though it. You'll be one of them.

This is my biggest hope and inspiration right now. Thank you for the responses.

[TheBurgerKing]

Thank you for all the responses, i honestly don't know what to think i just know i can't let this brake me i can't let it ruin my life i can't let it turn me into somebody that ends up drinking for years and years to cover the pain. Ive been so tempted to start drinking and smoking again i feel like it would help but not in the long run. i am trying to stay positive but i know come Christmas im going to brake down she already has a present for me wrapped up it kills me i don't think i can ever open it. i just have to try and stay strong and let life take its course

[TheBurgerKing]

The argument has nothing to do with the accident at all it just makes you wish you had cherished every single moment in the past.I think of people who hold grudges with family their entire life and never get to reconcile before they pass We were pretty happy before she passed but i know i could have been a better partner still and this kills me, i could have made her short life much better part of me feels guilty for this. Its me me realize life is so precious and never take anybody for granted. I don't care about money at the moment i quit my job because i realized its not for fulling me im determined to use this as an opportunity to do something i love i want to make peoples lives better even if thats just from small things they make a big diffidence i don't know what or how but the fire is in my belly, all the small things are helping me out tremendously right now i could not keep going without seeing the genuine compassion and love from other people especially from people i don't even know it gives me so much hope.

[TheBurgerKing]

I can not be more thankful for the replies, the guys who offered me to come round theirs on Christmas literately have brought tears to my eyes, Fortunately i have family i will see but the fact that people have seriously offered made me shed a tear. Im holding onto that light at the end of the tunnel, Some times i catch my self falling into bad negative thoughts but somehow im managing to hang in there. The story's of people going though rough times themselves have been very touching and encouraging. I never thought the replies from an internet forum would help so much in a situation like this. Thank you all.