some advice please
Discussion
Hi all, posted in jobs and employment matters but i feel its kind of personal circumstances aswell so thought id change to the lounge. Im deciding whether to apply for a job which requires me to travel to different sites to repair and service equipment. Car is paid for and hotels if i want to stay over.
My main concern is i have a fiancee and i dont know if this would affect our relationship as i currently work near home. Most of the time id drive back as im not keen on hotels.
Its 3 12 hour shifts a week and the rota would be like this. The travelling is additional to the shift.
WEEK 1:
MON -TRAVEL 4 HOURS IN TOTAL
TUE-TRAVEL 2 1/2 HOURS IN TOTAL
SUN-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
WEEK 2:
TUES- TRAVEL 3 1/2 HOURS AWAY AND WORK 3 SHIFTS IN A ROW THEN COME HOME FRIDAY MORNING
WEEK 3:
MON-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
TUES-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
FRI-TRAVEL 4 HOURS IN TOTAL
every week is different but thats an idea of how it works, would it cause a strain on relationships?
My main concern is i have a fiancee and i dont know if this would affect our relationship as i currently work near home. Most of the time id drive back as im not keen on hotels.
Its 3 12 hour shifts a week and the rota would be like this. The travelling is additional to the shift.
WEEK 1:
MON -TRAVEL 4 HOURS IN TOTAL
TUE-TRAVEL 2 1/2 HOURS IN TOTAL
SUN-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
WEEK 2:
TUES- TRAVEL 3 1/2 HOURS AWAY AND WORK 3 SHIFTS IN A ROW THEN COME HOME FRIDAY MORNING
WEEK 3:
MON-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
TUES-TRAVEL 2 HOURS IN TOTAL
FRI-TRAVEL 4 HOURS IN TOTAL
every week is different but thats an idea of how it works, would it cause a strain on relationships?
SistersofPercy said:
Female perspective for you...
Few years ago other half was made redundant and ended up taking a job 140 mile round trip away. Contract was rolling so no point us selling up and moving. He, like you, wanted to come home so we settled into a commuting routine. He'd leave the house at 6am and get home around 8pm. We did this for 3 years.
Truthfully, it was horrible. By the time he'd got in and we'd eaten dinner he was ready for bed because he was knackered. Most of our conversations were held over bluetooth on his drive home. Weekends rolled around and the weeks took their toll so they were mostly spent doing very little. You miss stupid little things like coming home and being able to mow the lawn or put up the shelf you wanted to put up.
Some night the M6 would die miserably so 8pm could be 10pm. I don't think either of us felt particularly close at that time. He existed to work, I literally saw him whilst we ate then it was shower and bed.
12 months ago he got a local job. We both now have a joint hobby, the lawn gets mowed, we sit down for an evening meal at half six and he is much less stressed.
Ultimately it's down to you two how you cope with it, and I know there are people who'll say 'my OH works away for months' or 'my OH is in the army' etc, but for us, who'd always been close and used to operating as a family it was horrible and I'm so glad to be out of it.
how many days a week did he work? Few years ago other half was made redundant and ended up taking a job 140 mile round trip away. Contract was rolling so no point us selling up and moving. He, like you, wanted to come home so we settled into a commuting routine. He'd leave the house at 6am and get home around 8pm. We did this for 3 years.
Truthfully, it was horrible. By the time he'd got in and we'd eaten dinner he was ready for bed because he was knackered. Most of our conversations were held over bluetooth on his drive home. Weekends rolled around and the weeks took their toll so they were mostly spent doing very little. You miss stupid little things like coming home and being able to mow the lawn or put up the shelf you wanted to put up.
Some night the M6 would die miserably so 8pm could be 10pm. I don't think either of us felt particularly close at that time. He existed to work, I literally saw him whilst we ate then it was shower and bed.
12 months ago he got a local job. We both now have a joint hobby, the lawn gets mowed, we sit down for an evening meal at half six and he is much less stressed.
Ultimately it's down to you two how you cope with it, and I know there are people who'll say 'my OH works away for months' or 'my OH is in the army' etc, but for us, who'd always been close and used to operating as a family it was horrible and I'm so glad to be out of it.
SistersofPercy said:
3 days would be easier. I guess it also depends on how much you enjoy your job as well. He really didn't enjoy the bureaucracy of his at all and it was just grind. It affected his health.
3 days of something you enjoy and 4 off don't sound as bad, but please prepare for the fact that very long days can turn into very very long days indeed when something goes tits up on the motorway or it snows (not likely yet I realise).
How often would that realistically happen? Whats the traffic like in the north 530-745am and 8pm onwards?3 days of something you enjoy and 4 off don't sound as bad, but please prepare for the fact that very long days can turn into very very long days indeed when something goes tits up on the motorway or it snows (not likely yet I realise).
SistersofPercy said:
He found if he left at 4.30pm it would take the same amount of time as if he left at 6pm. Timing the journey is the key really. Early mornings were better, get a 6am start and traffic down the M6 towards Birmingham wouldn't be too bad (though Monday mornings were always worse). Friday afternoons again were bad.
Realistically he had probably a dozen incidents where traffic totally stopped. A couple of motorway closures due to accident, a couple of snow storms bringing travel down to a crawl.
The other thing is if your employer will pay for the toll that will massively improve your journey. His wouldn't, and on top of fuel costs it would have been a huge loss to us to have to pay that too.
Fuel etc is paid forRealistically he had probably a dozen incidents where traffic totally stopped. A couple of motorway closures due to accident, a couple of snow storms bringing travel down to a crawl.
The other thing is if your employer will pay for the toll that will massively improve your journey. His wouldn't, and on top of fuel costs it would have been a huge loss to us to have to pay that too.
Riknos said:
I used to work 12 hour shifts - 4 on 4 off 2 days 2 nights.
It was hard for my wife as we were recently married and she didn't know anybody around here so didn't have many friends to do things with on the weekends I was working. It did put a strain on our relationship and after a year I quit for less money but better hours so make sure you have the option of going back to normal working hours in the future
That sounds good 2 days 2 nights then off for 4 lolIt was hard for my wife as we were recently married and she didn't know anybody around here so didn't have many friends to do things with on the weekends I was working. It did put a strain on our relationship and after a year I quit for less money but better hours so make sure you have the option of going back to normal working hours in the future
My fiance has plenty of friends
susanq said:
Hubby works away Monday to Thursday, 3 out of 4 weeks. He's done this for the last 14 years. I'm used to it, and we make the most of weekends. We don't have children and SOMETIMES it can get lonely. The alternative is we move 'down south' but we both love living in North Yorkshire. Beautiful.
You dont want to move down south everything cost more hahaCrossflow Kid said:
I used to be in a job where the roster was three or four days or nights a week on twelve hour shifts so I was at home far more than I was at work. There were times where if I got to the end of one roster period on rest days, and then began the next roster period on rest days, I could come away with just over a week off without a single day of leave being used.
Sounds perfect?
Yeah, I thought so....
Travelling time was anywhere between 60 and 90+ minutes each way so a twelve hour shift was usually around a fourteen to sixteen hour day door to door, more often the latter.
On a four day cycle I was, frankly, f
ked after that and it usually took a day or two to fully recover, more so on nights.
No doubt there are people who'll say sixteen hour days are the norm in some jobs and it's easy. Depends on the job and the ease of the travel I guess (mine was in to London
) and the advantage of your offer is that the days don't run back to back.
The fact I'm no longer under 30 probably didn't help either.
Now I'm in a job twenty minutes from home on eight/nine hour days and a more usual five day week. My entire working day is now less than just the shift time in my old job.
Actually feels like I'm at home more, and the days of leaving home in the dark and getting home in the dark for six months of the year are over.
The most days together for us would be 3 but thats usually the same site so you stay over usually its no more than 2Sounds perfect?
Yeah, I thought so....
Travelling time was anywhere between 60 and 90+ minutes each way so a twelve hour shift was usually around a fourteen to sixteen hour day door to door, more often the latter.
On a four day cycle I was, frankly, f
ked after that and it usually took a day or two to fully recover, more so on nights.No doubt there are people who'll say sixteen hour days are the norm in some jobs and it's easy. Depends on the job and the ease of the travel I guess (mine was in to London
) and the advantage of your offer is that the days don't run back to back.The fact I'm no longer under 30 probably didn't help either.
Now I'm in a job twenty minutes from home on eight/nine hour days and a more usual five day week. My entire working day is now less than just the shift time in my old job.
Actually feels like I'm at home more, and the days of leaving home in the dark and getting home in the dark for six months of the year are over.
Edited by Crossflow Kid on Tuesday 28th April 09:01
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