Living as an ex-pat, the downsides
Discussion
There was a very interesting article published recently, which went through social media, explaining one persons journey as an ex-pat, the high's and lows. It was a great read (can't see to locate it at the moment! - and summed up my life, except for the family part).
Well I can say that hearing a loved family member had a stroke and is in hospital this morning certainly added to my list of downsides! Not able to visit due to lack of plane ticket availability and regulatory deadlines which show no mercy... this is the part which isn't fun
Well I can say that hearing a loved family member had a stroke and is in hospital this morning certainly added to my list of downsides! Not able to visit due to lack of plane ticket availability and regulatory deadlines which show no mercy... this is the part which isn't fun
austinsmirk said:
any documentary on ex pats, showing their lifestyles, seems to portray them all as chronic alcoholics.
sure thats not the case for all, but when I reach my golden years, being drunk everyday doesn't seem something I want to aspire too.
but I agree, when family are far apart, its a nightmare: I never saw my grandparents in their later years or when they passed as they were in Australia.
Yes that may be the case for some of the older generation, I've seen my fair share of "has beens" washed up around this part. But I moved abroad for professional reasons only - I do love it here, and there are so many positives, but as family always comes first, this negative outweighs all sadly.sure thats not the case for all, but when I reach my golden years, being drunk everyday doesn't seem something I want to aspire too.
but I agree, when family are far apart, its a nightmare: I never saw my grandparents in their later years or when they passed as they were in Australia.
Fishtigua said:
I've been lucky and spent most of my life abroad. I like living in different countries and cultures.
As said, when family fall ill or pass away, it can be a little bit of a pain but you can be anywhere on the globe in a day. One Grandma died at the villa in Malta. Aunt and Stepdad passed away recently in Antigua. Other Grandparents died when I was in France or Venezuela.
The thing is my elderly mother is now living on her own in Antigua. There is no family there but she has a fantastic social group to keep an eye on her. Not perfect, but that's how she wants to live. Fair enough.
I actually work with my father in the business and speak to him throughout the day, almost on a daily basis - the issue is the last remaining grandparents. I am in the UK quite often, and to be honest when I lived in the UK I probably saw them marginally more than I do now. I moved abroad to make the business viable due to costs - and my immediate family are all employed in the business - it provides a life style for us all, just at the expense of distance. Although it's only 1000 miles ( 2 hour plane )! As said, when family fall ill or pass away, it can be a little bit of a pain but you can be anywhere on the globe in a day. One Grandma died at the villa in Malta. Aunt and Stepdad passed away recently in Antigua. Other Grandparents died when I was in France or Venezuela.
The thing is my elderly mother is now living on her own in Antigua. There is no family there but she has a fantastic social group to keep an eye on her. Not perfect, but that's how she wants to live. Fair enough.
Only thing you can't do is quickly pop down to the hospital at a moments notice.
I won't go into all the positives of not living in the UK - that is for another thread ;-)
OpulentBob said:
I've dipped my toe in the expat world. I've found a few things against it. 9 hours from home, time zones are a b
h, everyone stares at the "creamy face", get stung for white man tax (aka back handers, because I'm supposedly rich) everywhere, too much noise and chaos everywhere compared to the green green grass of home, miss loved ones, and all the clothes are too small. I've only done it to chase the work, and it's relatively short term, but I'm not a huge fan. I couldn't imagine retiring anywhere that English wasn't spoken, and that was more than a couple of hours on a plane. I think I'll always be a little Englander at heart.
I'm not sure that Mumbai can be classed as a top ex-pat destination ... I think it would be different if you were on the Adriatic, or Cayman islands/BVI .. etc !h, everyone stares at the "creamy face", get stung for white man tax (aka back handers, because I'm supposedly rich) everywhere, too much noise and chaos everywhere compared to the green green grass of home, miss loved ones, and all the clothes are too small. I've only done it to chase the work, and it's relatively short term, but I'm not a huge fan. I couldn't imagine retiring anywhere that English wasn't spoken, and that was more than a couple of hours on a plane. I think I'll always be a little Englander at heart. Eric Mc said:
Not much different to how many immigrants are viewed in the UK.
---
Why isn't the thread title "Living as an Immigrant"?
Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
Eric, without being rude, why are you on this thread? This isn't a debate about what we call ourselves, we're discussing the downsides of not being in our country of birth.---
Why isn't the thread title "Living as an Immigrant"?
Why do the Brits abroad hardly ever use the expression "immigrant" when they refer to themselves? Do they look on themselves as something different?
I don't really want to debate how UK people treat immigrants or start a leftist argument.
Edited by stuart-b on Thursday 6th August 12:19
GT03ROB said:
...and going back to my post about quality time... I actually believe I see more of my parents & son now than I did when I was in the UK. I hadn't seen my sister in 6 years before I was able to travel to Oz last Christmas......
This! Although I'm frustrated I can't drive 30 minutes to the hospital, when I come over to the UK I made a road trip around, see people I haven't seen for a while and catch up with everyone. When I was in the UK I probably saw most of those people the same amount - the difference is we both have a lot more to talk about !JMGS4 said:
Been an ex-pat for over 40 years now. Methinks the "ex-Pat Problem" as mentioned applies only to those who refuse to integrate, or speak the language etc., who want to live in a "little Britain" somewhere "foreign". I still have some family in the UK, can get there relatively fast if I need to (7 hours car, 2-3 hours plane travel) and certainly miss some friends, but with the internet we can still keep contact when necessary. (After 40-odd years they really are friends and not just acquintances!)
What I miss (but most probably no longer exist) the quiet pub in the countryside with a cool pint of bitter and a ploughmans (were new when I left!). I can get virtually everything else. Return? Very doubtful.....
I genuinely love Germany! Every year I am there at least 2-3 times, Munich & Frankfurt. All the people I have met are very polite, the service has been great and I have some super friends. The country just "works", the Munchen uban is like a Swiss watch - it makes it an easy place to be. Matched with their passion for cars, great food, culture and driving roads!What I miss (but most probably no longer exist) the quiet pub in the countryside with a cool pint of bitter and a ploughmans (were new when I left!). I can get virtually everything else. Return? Very doubtful.....
Eric Mc said:
I am an immigrant living in the UK. I am, in effect, an "ex-pat" of sorts - although I don't feel like one. I am always interested in how those from abroad try or don't try to fit in - and how the natives allow or don't allow them to fit in.
Bloody immigrants ... stealing our jobs ... ruining our country ! 
I technically share the same religion as 97% of the local population here, we're all "white" and they "all" (meaning, greater than not, even if not, some dodgy German gets you by) speak English - so for me, integration is very easy compared to the stories above living in India. I guess it really depends where you are. We employ local people and are 100% export, so I am treated well by the local gov. and any agency I speak to as unemployment is high. Those that know me are also very respectful and I'm never reminded I'm an outsider. I would say the country is much more tolerant than we (English) are. Perhaps this is something to do with the UK being an island, and in Europe many people travel around for work and pleasure. You will see almost all the European nations here at some point. Cars with all sorts of reg plates from California to Russia and Ukraine.
Edited by stuart-b on Thursday 6th August 13:00
Eric Mc said:
And immigrants don't add something to the country they are in?
Obviously, some do and some don't. Exactly the same as "ex-pats".
Or is the notion of an "ex-pat" a hangover from the old colonial days of "Happy Valley" or "The English Raj"?
"An expatriate (often shortened to expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country other than that of their citizenship. The word comes from the Latin terms ex ("out of") and patria ("country, fatherland")."Obviously, some do and some don't. Exactly the same as "ex-pats".
Or is the notion of an "ex-pat" a hangover from the old colonial days of "Happy Valley" or "The English Raj"?
the word “Expatriate” is actually a verb or an adjective and means someone “living in a foreign land”.
the word “Immigrant” is a noun and means “a person who comes to a country to take permanent residence”.
I think it is quite clear what it means, dont read too far into it.
GT03ROB said:
I should think it's pretty clear what the difference is....
...an expat is somebody from a developed country going anywhere else for a long period of time....
...an immigrant is somebody from a lesser developed country going anywhere else.....
...an Irishman coming to the UK is an immigrant..... an Englishman going to Ireland is an expat.....
...me coming to Kuwait is an expat..... an Indian coming here is a migrant (immigrant)....
Rob...now you put it that way it all makes sense !...an expat is somebody from a developed country going anywhere else for a long period of time....
...an immigrant is somebody from a lesser developed country going anywhere else.....
...an Irishman coming to the UK is an immigrant..... an Englishman going to Ireland is an expat.....
...me coming to Kuwait is an expat..... an Indian coming here is a migrant (immigrant)....
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff