Make a big life decision for me

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I've been offered a new job, and need help in deciding whether to take it. I'll give you details of my current job, and the new job - tell me what you would do.

Current job:
Location - Northern city
1 hour commute each way
Work from home 3 days a week
Salary - £72,000 = £49,085.70 net
Job is ok, i'm well respected here, been here 2.5 years. Relationship with boss is good.

New job
Location - London
3 hour door to door commute! (30 mins to station, 2 hours on a virgin train, 20 mins on underground, 10 min walking)
Work from home 2/3 days a week - so will even out at 5 days every 2 weeks.
Salary - £80,000 = £53,725.70
Discretionary bonus of £10,000, taking total net to £59,525.70m (if bonus paid)
Option to stay over if needed
All travel and accommodation paid for - Everything, including fuel to station, train tickets, hotels etc.

Both jobs are similar, new one is probably going to be more varied, but of course have no idea how it will be in reality, or how my relationship with my new boss will be.

I'm torn, so please decide for me.

(Apologies for the vulgarity of mentioning salary, I thought I had to be explicit if i'm seeking advice like this)

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Even if only needed to make the journey 3 times every 2 weeks? - i.e Week 1 - Travel down Monday, come back Tuesday, then travel again Thursday. In week 2 - Travel Tuesday, come back Wednesday. 5 days in London office done.

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AndrewEH1 said:

First off, top lurking.

Secondly were you looking to move jobs or have you been head-hunted?

Personally I would be staying put due to the massive commute.

Contacted by a recruiter through linkedin

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LimaDelta said:

No way I would even consider that commute. Honestly don't know how (why?) people can commit to spending such a high percentage of their life trapped in a box with other people.

Seriously? six hours a day commuting? 25% of the day! Do people really do that?

I wouldn't consider it if it was a daily commute, but if the commute averaged out at having to be done 1.5 times a week, it would mean 9 hours a week commuting, which doesn't sound as bad.

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Jimmy Recard said:

What's your home life like? Family? Single?

Do you own your own home?

Good questions - Married, own a home, 1 year old son.

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Muzzer79 said:

Using this logic, you've gone from seeing your wife briefly for a couple of days during this two week period, because of your massive commute, to not seeing her at all for 3 nights over this two week period because you're staying over to avoid the massive commute?

Not worth it for that money.

It would mean i'm never doing the 3 hours more than once in a day - which I assumed would be a good thing, not being completely knackered to do anything once i'm home.

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Is an average of 9 hours a week travelling so bad?

Am I right in thinking a lot of responses on here are on the basis that the commute will be daily?

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Jimmy Recard said:

On that basis I'd be staying!

If you were single I'd say that you should go for it

I'd still feel it's physically doable - i'm 28. But looking at the responses on here, don't think i've fully considered the effect it'll have on my home life.

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CinnamonFan said:

If you were single then I would consider it, but with your wife and young boy, I would say no.

Even though the commute isnt a daily thing all the nights in the hotel will get lonely without them around. It would be a big undertaking for your wife having to look after the child single handed while you are away. Have you asked her what she thinks?

She actually doesn't mind. She hasn't gone back to work since the baby, so is a full time mummy right now.

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Muzzer79 said:

Maybe my maths is pants but you said in your OP it was 5 days in the office over 2 weeks.

6 hours a day travelling for each working day means a total of 30 hours commuting time for those 5 days.

You're doing that for half of a 2 week period, so it means an average of 15 hours per week commuting?

In any case, it's the time that the commute robs relative to your home life.

10 hours a week commuting 1 hour each way every day, for example, is fine.
10 hours commuting over 2 days, for example, means you're out of the picture for 2 full days a week (more or less)

This has a significant effect on your home life, even if you are at home the rest of the time.

Your maths is fine. But there is an option of staying over whenever I need. So I would plan to stay over twice to cover those 5 days. i.e Week 1 - travel Monday, stay in a hotel, come back Tuesday. Travel and come back Thursday. Week 2 - Travel Tuesday, come back Wednesday. So 5 days done, and only 18 hours spent travelling. therefore 9 hours per week.

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Aldos Army said:

first class rail travel???

No, standard class

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Muzzer79 said:

Meaning he's completely out of the picture for 3 nights every 2 weeks. That still sucks.

Out of the picture for 2 nights every 2 weeks, but in the picture for 5 full days/evenings whilst i'd be working from home.

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AndrewEH1 said:

So you are happy in your current job then and haven't been looking. So why move jobs?

The recruiter is just trying to earn their commission and searching for people on LinkedIn is the easy and lazy way of doing it.

Sorry, should have been clear - it was an internal recruiter, so HR is probably more accurate.

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p1stonhead said:

OP

No. No fking chance.

Surely you know even asking this insane question is ridiculous?!

I honestly didn't think it ridiculous until the responses started pouring in!

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red_slr said:

I would say take it. Kids don't remember much till they are 4 or 5.
You will be at home 2/3 days a week - working from home - that's perfect IMHO.

That gives you another 3 or 4 years to build your XP and get London on your CV.
Build your contacts and take the next step up the ladder in a few years.

Its not always about money, your experience is what counts for future prospects.

I think my attitude to being dismissive about the not being there for 2 nights every 2 weeks probably comes from the fact that I spend loads of time with my wife and son when I work from home right now (3 days a week), and knowing that this will continue (2/3 days a week). Maybe that's why i'm surprised at responses where people feel my home life will go to pot if i'm not there 2 nights every 2 weeks.

I have breakfast lunch and dinner with my family 3 times a week - that would just go down slightly with the new job, but it would still mean i'm home for at least 50% of the time.

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p1stonhead said:

Don't even think about it.

One delay could have a knock on effect of a few hours over such a distance. I know you are still living there but you must be doing very well cost of living wise up north. Don't estimate how much a couple of nights in London may cost you just to have a few bits to eat etc etc.

That £380 a month may actually be closer to £200

Edited by p1stonhead on Monday 7th December 17:57

All travel/accomodation/food would be paid for if i'm in London. My home would be my office in my contract, and any travel from there would be considered as being on business, so would be on expenses.

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p1stonhead said:

Fair play. But in reality, if you are on £70k already, is £400 a month that big of a deal?

Tell you what. Take some leave and do a trial run for a couple of nights. If it's awful, think how worse it could get with delays or cancellations. If it's absolutely fine, you may be up for it. Stay away from the family - being away from them may be harder than you think.

My colleague did this trial run thing and it made his choice for him.

I'm away from the family on average a night a month, so not what its like to be away from them. Obviously I can't say what it would be like once a week.

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rb5er said:

Ask for an extra 10k. I dont see what everyone is getting so excited about. Basically a day out of home a week, not a big deal.

A question perhaps you should ask the Mrs.

Extra 10k isn't happening unfortunately.

Mrs is fine with the decision if that's what I want. She's more worried that I might hate the new job.

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Funk said:

My immediate gut reaction too. Remember, it'd be a 3 hour commute on a good day assuming nothing goes wrong, otherwise that 3 hours could be 3.5 or 4...

I worked in London (Leadenhall Market area) and the commute got to me after a year - it's about 90 mins for me, however I was doing it daily. I'd want more than another £10k/year to make me want to do it again! I now work 20 mins from home which is a major benefit to me.

Edit: just seen you're married and have a 1yr old - you're mental to even be considering the London role imo. Stay put, watch your kid grow up and be part of things.

Edited by Funk on Monday 7th December 18:12

Just playing devils advocate - would I not be a part of things if I was working from home 50%? And only away 1 night a week?

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rb5er said:

Did you actually read the OP? Sitting on a train for 9hrs a week (so only a few additional hours) and getting 10k p.a extra.

Currently spend 4 hours a week commuting. New job would mean 9 hours a week commuting, so I see is as an extra 5 hours a week commuting.