Marriage proposal...the logistics...

[Subbuteo]

I am planning to propose to my long suffering girlfriend on holiday next year and have a few queries about the logistics, specifically around getting the ring 4,000 miles away undetected....

I presume hand luggage is the safest way to go in terms of making sure it doesn't take an unforeseen separation from me.....presumably it's something that security scanner operators are used to seeing and won't bat an eyelid at? Women must routinely carry jewellery in their hand luggage.

The other issue I have is that the girlfriend wears no rings. At all. Meaning I have about a 1 in 20 chance of choosing the right size.

Is it a fairly routine affair to get it adjusted after the event? Does a reputable jeweller normally offer this service included in the price of the ring? I really want to buy the ring in advance and really want to take the real one away, I know there are alternatives but I'll take the risk....we will have a safe in the room and she wouldn't know how to operate it anyway

Also does anyone have a particular recommendation where high street jewellers are concerned, any to particularly avoid?

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Does it work both ways? As in just as easy to adjust up as down? Logically it seems like it would be easier to have it made smaller than bigger, so I'd be better off erring on the side of caution and going bigger than I think I need?

[Subbuteo]

DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.

I did think about that but I really want to do it with the actual ring. And she'd want me to choose rather than shop for it together. I'm not worried about the security side of it as such, it'll be on my person the entire time between airport and hotel room, then in a safe.

My main concern is having my cover blown in the airport at a security scanner but guessing they'll be able to clearly see it's a ring in a box and nothing noteworthy....they must see it every day

[Subbuteo]

warp9 said:

As we know, women have very specific desires that almost without fail utterly baffle their male counterparts. As your gf doesn't wear rings, it would suggest she may fall into this category. You'd be a braver man than me to drop £4-5K on a ring that she's not happy with, when my suggestion would be to bring a token gesture ring with you to do the deed with and then when you return can go shopping together for something she actually wants.

My pennies worth and all that.

Appreciate that, and in most cases is definitely agree with you! However by the time the day comes we'll have been together 15 years! We've had more than one casual chat about such things and I have a very good idea of her likes and dislikes!

And sadly £4-5k is some considerable way north of what budget I'll be working with, but that's another story!!

[Subbuteo]

davek_964 said:

True, but remember that might not be the only reason they decide to search your luggage. If there is anything that looks odd - however innocent it may be - they will do so. Last time I flew, my luggage was searched by them - can't remember what it was that upset them. And many years ago, I remember that a phone charger was the cause (something in the plug part had looked like a sharp object I think).

So, I doubt the they will search your luggage because of the ring - but that doesn't mean they won't search your luggage, even though they <probably> won't.

Yep good point. Luckily I travel very light where hand luggage is concerned, I hate carrying anything I don't have to. So in reality it's likely to be phone, travel documents, wallet and a ring! Hopefully no cause for a cavity search

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crashley said:

I did this. Tucked it into a little velvet bag thing inside my wallet and carried it around for a week (including a weekend at the Singapore GP) until the time was 'right' in Bali, where i dropped it in the sand, in the dark. Ever the romantic fool.

NB Don't buy from the high street. Try a non-shop front diamond man in Hatton Garden if you're anywhere near London for better value, and they'll all re-size without issue. Also, if she's not a tt, she'll love it and won't demand you take it back for a different style, so i wouldn't worry about that.

thanks for that. Beach sunset was going to be my MO also...will make sure to keep a firm grip on her ring, as it were.

Quite a way from London but sure there are some decent indy jewellers where I am. Will do some research!

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smn159 said:

I don't really get the 'next year' thing. If you've decided the you want to marry her, why not ask her now?

We're going to be on the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate 15 years of being together. So I'm doing it on that date.

[Subbuteo]

Haha that's brilliant.

Though my concern would be if she wakes up and finds me trying to insert her fingers into bizarre places, it might make her reconsider the holiday

[Subbuteo]

smn159 said:

Subbuteo said:

smn159 said:

I don't really get the 'next year' thing. If you've decided the you want to marry her, why not ask her now?

We're going to be on the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate 15 years of being together. So I'm doing it on that date.

Fair enough, but if you get married beforehand you can use that as the honeymoon

Madness, I need more holidays, not less

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Shakermaker said:

You will be fine at the airport, do not worry. Yes, the staff see it a lot. Just make sure that you don't have anything that looks dodgy in your bag.

Also, however, the staff do have to randomly search a proportion of the items which go through the scanners, some do this themselves but the more advanced machines pick out a bag automatically and push it to one side for the staff. Maybe try and go through the scanner before your girlfriend and if you get picked, your bag will be being searched out of the way whilst hopefully she is still putting all her stuff back together and isn't watching too closely at what you have packed.

Good luck to you.

Thanks!