its my wifes birthday on saturday - help me find a gift.

[Ambleton]

As the title says, its my wife's birthday on Friday and as yet the only gifts ive bought her are as follows:

Card
3ltr keg of scrumpy (she's a classy bird)
Big box of Lindt chocs

She knows I'm not the best organised, but at the same time she has everything she needs/gadgets/clothes etc under the sun.

Cheap joke presents may well be purchased (<£30)
Expensive joke presents probably wont be purchased (>£30)
Serious suggestions will be considered.
All other comments welcomed.

Delivery/availability before Saturday is essential.

I now declare these floodgates officially open.

[Ambleton]

geeks said:

Spa days/Dirty Weekend/Weekend trip/Cider brewery tour

like the sound of this all rolled into one....

Mucky weekend away at a spa hotel with a cider brewery tour...

The Westons tour is supposed to be good (looking online very briefly) - any hotel recommendations in/around Gloucestershire?

[Ambleton]

glenrobbo said:

A deep fat fryer and a new steam iron. Easy!

Next!

She cant cook - if your in a tundra and you have the option of starving or eating her food you'd rather eat her food. It'll be a quicker way to go.

And it actually hurts watching her iron anything. She seems to iron more creases into clothes than removing them!

Edited by Ambleton on Wednesday 28th September 13:14

[Ambleton]

Ambleton said:

glenrobbo said:

A deep fat fryer and a new steam iron. Easy!

Next!

She cant cook - if your in a tundra and you have the option of starving or eating her food you'd rather eat her food. It'll be a quicker way to go.

And it actually hurts watching her iron anything. She seems to iron more creases into clothes than removing them!

...hmmm.... Anyone know if there are any weekend housewife schools where she can learn these essential life skills?

[Ambleton]

moanthebairns said:

What to get your eyebrows done, or waxed? Women like to go with women to these things. 2-4 hours sat getting fking poked at and st flung on your face sounds awful to me.

When my mrs buys me a track day voucher I don't expect her to come and help me change my wets, but I see your point.

We did a spa thingy together on our honeymoon.

It was basically exactly as you described. Unpleasant, smelly and uncomfortable and for me, a total waste of money - I wont be partaking again....

[Ambleton]

Hoofy said:

The trick is to buy her lots of cheaper things as women like that. Here's a suitable link: http://amzn.to/2dsYt5J

I don't want a black eye for her birthday.

Adenauer said:

Blue Cat said:

Suggestions - ditch the cheap chocolates and buy a really nice box, the ones from here are amazing - http://www.cocoamountain.co.uk/

Mrs A would scoff those during a film and at 40 quid a box I would be crying my eyes out.

likewise! They barely touch the sides before they're down.... (whay)

[Ambleton]

C0ffin D0dger said:

Pair of slippers and a dildo....


(sorry couldn't resist )

I dismissed this upon reading for the first time, but on reflection, she does require some new slippers....

[Ambleton]

Huntsman said:

Stop being a sap and put some effort into thinking of something she'd really like or enjoy.

Or get her a pangolin.

A MANDOLIN?

[Ambleton]

soad said:

A small mammal.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/37470783

Fully aware.... There was a topic recently in the animals great and small section of the forum....

[Ambleton]

As per the "closure" thread should probably update-

I've booked us on a tour/meal for the Weston's cider mill, and a weekend at Puckrup hall hilton hotel and spa. Seemed to go down very well! Going in a few weeks as the next 2 weekends are fully booked with friend/family duties!

We're both very much looking forward to it!

Thanks for all the suggestions!