Modern single women

[Rich_W]

I've been single for a good 18 months. I tried some dating in that time. A friend of a friend I met by chance. Some POF, Some Tinder. But a sizeable percentage of the girls I met in my age range 28-36 seem to have an air of expectation and a level of narcissism I'm not sure was prevalent 10 or so years ago. They bring nothing to the party bar their genitals and their looks, which like all of us will fade in time. They have no savings, no career, everything they own is on tick, no hobbies etc. But have a huge long list of "criteria" that a man should hit to even be in with a chance of sleeping with or having a relationship with them. The whole "I'm not settling for anything less than perfection"

By coincidence this vid of a 32yo girl trended on YT. Sums it up nicely. And of course she'll end up alone with cats in 10 years time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR6tjQf0_sE
(swearing)

I appreciate it's not ALL women. But I found myself wondering if it's worth making a massive effort. Developed a "if it happens, it happens" attitude. In the meantime focus on my career or health or interests.

But then I read an article on MGTOW (Men going their own way) by Martin Daubney, former editor of Loaded magazine.
https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3t1t5...
(reprint from the Sunday Times paywall)

Essentially to a lesser or greater amount a percentage of guys are giving up on relationships (and even sex! ) Obviously it resonated with me. And whilst I put myself at the other end from the "no relationships or sex ever" mindest, it does seem to be a thing, and I'm seemingly an unknowing mgtow/neomasculine male



I would have thought that when girls get to their 30s their body clock kicks in and they start panicking they'll never have kids so get less picky? Apparently the birth rate in the western world is declining over the last few decades. Is this related?

[Rich_W]

Cold said:

Emily Hart on that ^^^ YouTube video is a comedienne/presenter/vlogger. Don't take her videos too literally as she's doing it for the laughs and the clicks. She's quite funny in her own way and often includes her long suffering sisters in her videos.

yeah I know who she is to be fair. She's a "YouTuber" who, lives in London, is seemingly out partying multiple times a week, doesn't appear to have a normal (even part time) job to supplement her income. Goes on holidays a lot and VLogs them. Never knew you could get so much money from a video a week. But then it turns out she's the daughter of the owner of Hartridges brewing company. (whoever they are) So clearly she doesn't have the same money constraints the rest of us have. I daresay that fuels her dislike of middle earners. "I need to be kept in the manner to which I have become accustomed"

Ari said:

technodup said:

I'm 38 and really can't be arsed with it. At all.

I've fannied about with POF etc but have come to the conclusion they're either too young, dumb and full of cum or they're older and carrying all sorts of baggage. Kids mostly. Which I'm not interested in, especially other people's.

Not sure what the answer is.

How very dare these women have lives before meeting you!

Dear oh dear. Get real.

I'm similar tbh. Not massively bothered about having kids. Again if it happens. But I'm not sure I'd expect to have much in common with a single girl that has 1 or 2 children at a relatively young age.

Ari said:

I'm not saying date a munter. But maybe try going out with women who are a little more normal and down to earth.

I think there's a difference between expecting a Victorias Secret model. And what a sizeable (SWIDT? ) percentage of women over 30 look like. As someone who is sporty. I do aim for sporty type girls for the commonalities. And also cause they are less likely to be on the large side

Yipper said:

Women have f*nny and b**bs and know they can do whatever they want. They watch Sex and the City or listen to Beyoncé and get carried away.

Ironic given beyonce is much younger than JayZ who lets be honest is an ugly bd. I don't know anything about them really. But it doesn't strike me as being about money for either of them. Since they are both OK for funds. They've been married for years afaik. These modern women are just focusing on his money and not that they have built something (seemingly) solid over years.

The Moose said:

I did try to set her up with a good friend of mine who is a really good bloke but as he wasn't quite tall enough for her...

Being in this situation they then decide to take the decision that they'll be 'career women' and that's that, yet I know my friend is desperate for a wedding and a couple of kids.

It's funny, there's a girl I saw on POF regularly. (online) We have a lot in common, I hit everything on her requests list (be over 6' and sporty etc). We don't live miles away. She actually mentions in her profile something about "just going on looks is very shallow and its all about building something" (Im not sloth! )

I messaged her and got no reply. Fair enough. I daresay there was probably 1 thing that discounted me. But don't get me wrong, much as I thought she was good looking, she wasn't a solid 10/10. Would love to know what the one thing was. She's still on there now btw months later - and her age range has increased beyond my age. Still hoping for the Sugar Daddy

The Moose said:

Maybe it's the people in my circles however I don't see the same from the chaps.

I was going to say this in my OP. Some guys do piss away every penny they get. Live beyond their means. Have a flash car on finance they can barely afford to fuel. I know a few wkers like that.

But IME. This affliction affects more girls than guys.

CountZero23 said:

... As time is running out they will find the first decent and solvent guy they can find; comfortable in the knowledge they can always divorce him, keep the kid, the house and have a regular income for the next 18 years.

And much as some MGTOW-ers are weird. THAT right there is why Guys are opting out of normal relationships.

On a side note, I wonder if "high class escorts" from our thread a while back are finding an increase in customers. If "women" (as a generalisation) are never settling. Guys can make a decision to get their oats elsewhere and NOT have any of the problems detailed above.

[Rich_W]

Symbolica said:

Women can be quite perceptive.

Yeah, I get how it sounds

Same thing happens on Tinder. You both have to match to get to message. So given Women are far pickier on that than Men. To match you must have a mutual liking. So then when you send the message to get no reply. Seems counter intuitive. So whilst I may not be the ultimate catch, at least wait till I mess it up on the small talk / flirting messages

But it tallies with the earlier posters comment about someone he knew trying to help set them up with someone.

[Rich_W]

Yipper said:

When they first dated, Jay Z was dimorphically superior (taller), higher status (more famous), and much richer (plenty of hits). Beyoncé was chasing money and status as much as the next woman.

Nothing has changed much in the past ~200k years of evolution. Women are less bothered than men by looks (within reason) and almost always prioritise height (safety), fame (status) and wealth (security) for a male mate.

But she stayed with him, for commitment, and she has to be financially secure now Shirley?

Interesting on the height thing. Last girl when I met her had heels on of course. When I first saw her barefoot, she was obviously shorter. (I did guess this, I reckon 5'6ish) But all of a sudden you could see her eyes light up "Wow, how tall are you?" (6'1) So even though it shouldn't matter, it does to some women.

FWIW I prefer girls 5'9 and over so I guess I'm just as guilty

Edited by Rich_W on Sunday 12th March 22:09

[Rich_W]

Blown2CV said:

Is this another thread where nerdy lumps complain that no one fancies them and that the internet won't serve them up a girlfriend?

No.

It's a thread where guys wonder just why you'd bother to have a relationship with (seemingly, whatever that's worth) the majority of single women over 30.

HTH

[Rich_W]

hyphen said:

Alternatively expand your search to slightly younger women rather than starting at 28?

Err I'm 38! I know the old phrase of "half your age plus 7" would say 26. But it "feels" a bit young. I sometimes think that 28 as a lower guide is a bit low.

Can't believe no one has heard the "Women are like parking spaces" before. It's an old phrase.

To those wondering. I'm not unrealistic I don't think when it comes to picking a potential date. I have a "type" but I don't stick to it rigidly. I don't expect utter perfection. Yes, looks come into it. But it's the other stuff that matters more.

[Rich_W]

GroundEffect said:

MAJORITY OFWomen want a man with status, stability and money.

MANYMen want a woman who is attractive and likes it up the arse.

Which one is the shallow one?

I have stuck my knob up very attractive (to me at least) girls bum. Great, two things ticked off the list. But it's not the entire basis for why I liked her. It was never about looks. (they all get old) It was about the combination of other things that she had. Her good and her flaws that made me enjoy spending time with her.

The aforementioned majority. If the guy lost all of those 3 things. They'd drop him. Wants the percentage of Divorce? What's the percentage of divorce initiated by the woman? Remember there's always a better option out there for a attractive girl. It's not true, but it's seemingly the default mindest these days.

Edited by Rich_W on Monday 13th March 22:40

[Rich_W]

[redacted]

[Rich_W]

227bhp said:

Rich_W said:

Not sure Id ever go for a £50 fk, but it would probably be the "equivalent" of a one night stand and they can be fun.

No it wouldn't for pretty obvious reasons.

err one is a casual arrangement that is about having a bit of fun and never seeing each other again
The other is a casual arrangement that is about having a bit of fun and never seeing each other again.

Yeah. Completely different

Both are not going to develop into a proper relationship (unless you believe Pretty Woman was a documentary!)

Anyway I think we're going slightly off topic with the watch talk Yes some guys are shallow as fk. I know one who today posted the requisite pic of his passport, a drink and his watch as he's at the airport about to go on holiday (I don't get that either)

To any one of the "Women with a criteria as long as your arm" That would be getting them moist. But Id love to know where to find the girls that don't base everything on this. And actually have something worth investing in.

By happy coincidence. Tonight's random Tinder match



(I did see the profile text BEFORE I swiped, but I'm tempted now to lie through my skin #wastehertime

Edited by Rich_W on Tuesday 14th March 23:02

Edited by Rich_W on Tuesday 14th March 23:02

[Rich_W]

227bhp said:

You obviously get your knowledge of human nature at the same place you tried to learn grammar.

Thanks god your hear 2 tel mee dat. I am soo greatful u pownted out bad grammar on a forum. Eye don't reelise twas a grammer testy.

Cock!

227bhp said:

Having sex with a person who you have paid, but doesn't want to have sex with you other than to make money to feed a habit is most definitely different.

Oh I didn't realise EVERY prostitute was feeding a habit. Thanks for the education.

227bhp said:

As an aside, personally I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I have had to pay.

ALL men pay... You just don't manage to equate buying dinner, flowers and fuelling her car for her as being repaid in sex. But they are

xRIEx said:

there's an underlying assumption that she's absolutely a catch, nothing wrong with her. It adds to the impression that she has narcissistic princess syndrome.

The other way to look at it is the people who will respond - men who believe they fit all of those characteristics, i.e. narcissists. Now, I don't know the psychology of two narcissists in a relationship together, they may be perfectly suited but I somehow think they are going to look for flaws in their partner, and the flaws will always be in the partner, not in themselves.

Yup.

vsonix said:

Why would you even care what someone does for a living at that point in proceedings? OK o maybe if you're a die-hard vegan you might not want to date an abbatoir worker but asking someone to tell you what they do for a job in their INITIAL message to you smacks of economic interest. Or as they say in the ghetto "she ain't nuttin but a chickenhead"

This was my thoughts.

DonkeyApple said:

If you are actually looking for a relationship then you obviously go to the correct environment where what you want is to be found. People who walk into a car showroom looking to buy a house would be considered a fking moron. As are people who go looking for a particular type of woman in a venue that caters for a completely different type of woman.

Don't really agree. Online dating isn't just about a quick bunk up. I know you CAN get a lot of action if you are interested. But I tried it to find a proper GF. And from the girls I went on dates with a lot don't view Tinder or POF as purely for shagging. Some obviously do, but they tend to be slappers anyway. (And I screened those out)

gregs656 said:

DonkeyApple said:

But that is exactly the purpose of these particular apps. Rapid procurement of a temporary object or service.

Not for everyone. I was amazed how many people I got chatting to about tinder after my breakup met their current partners on there.

I dunno. What ever she is looking for I am certain there are better ways of portraying your self and the kind of things you want out of a relationship.

toon10 said:

If a man put up an ad specifying what he's really looking for, he'd never get a reply.

Wanted:
Independent attractive woman. She must be able to drive and have her own car. I'm not a taxi. She must be able to provide for herself, no spongers. I'm not looking for marriage, kids or cohabiting. I just want someone beautiful, fun and chilled with no baggage for nights out and netflix and chill nights in. I do my own thing through the week including hobbies such as PlayStation, watching Star Wars, football, pub and visiting mates. Don't need a woman around then.

Thanks.
Any interested lucky ladies please reply to...

Yes women can be that picky and abrupt as long as they have a nice profile pic

I'm not going to post the un-edited pic for obvious reasons. But she's not a stunner. Not a heap, quite a classical look. But most guys would say 6/10

As for wanted ad: Mine is quite simple. 2 lines.

The pics hint at a social life and a couple hobbies. Nothing dreary like cars or playstations. Yes I have a criteria and I screen for it during conversations. But to put it out there makes you look crass. And like the quote above. If a girl is attracted to that, I probably wont be attracted to her.

Ari said:

Johnnytheboy said:

As Nanook says, it's not so much having to meet her criteria, it's the mere act of having such criteria probably makes her really hard work.

How very dare she? Wimmins should just be grateful for anything they're offered!!!1!

This is definitely my new favourite thread.

But by contrast any Guy should be grateful this girl in particular would even look at him?? That he should accept any number of histrionics/bizarre behaviour simply because she has a vagina? That's the very definition of "Princess syndrome" Which is EXACTLY what most guys who aren't manginas/simps can see. But hey if your happy with no self esteem and getting shat on under the pretence of "a relationship" rock on

AyBee said:

On the basis that she wouldn't swipe right if she didn't think you were good looking, everything else just smacks of high maintenance because she has a whole heap of requirements and yet gives nothing about herself away.

What can I say. She obviously thinks I'm good looking.

Or maybe it's that my first pic is me in a well fitting suit...

Ironic, given I don't wear a suit for my job

[Rich_W]

DonkeyApple said:

Maybe she likes a bloke who takes going to court seriously?

[Rich_W]

csd19 said:

Old Tyke said:

wsurfa said:

Seems legit....

Oh aye

Especially when you fire that through google image search and it pings back a result... http://www.polyvore.com/hannah/thing?context_id=35... which is actually the first Google Images result

I've not found any girls on Tinder to be on Image Search.

Several on POF though. Reported them all, but fk all happens.

[Rich_W]

Funk said:

Oddly I'm in a similar boat; turned 38 last week, been single a long time and perfectly happy with my life, my own company and the friends I have around me. I don't have that burning need inside me to 'be with' someone else or to have kids (although I'd never rule it out completely). I'm just doing my thing, indulging my whims and working to secure my future.

Every once in a while I'll see a thread on here about some poor guy who's been/being utterly fked over by his wife and being taken to the cleaners emotionally and financially. One of my colleagues is 34, just split from his wife and is now back to renting a room in a house share - fk that for a game of soldiers...

I'm not a misogynist, I don't hate women. Far from it. I just don't want to gamble my life on the whim of someone else.

This is the neo-masculine (to coin a phrase) way. Don't hate women, but also don't see being with one the be all and end all like so many.

Remember, Marriage is essentially betting everything you own and your mental health that a girl won't change...

[Rich_W]

DonkeyApple said:

When people treat an investment as a bet they always lose.

Life was much easier when you just went to a venue that reflected your ideals and character and just went and talked to a girl you liked the look of.

Ok, so as I said earlier I'm 38. (like the other 2 curiously) And for my sins I can strike up a conversation relatively easily. I don't get the anxiety some people do about talking to someone I don't know. (With the normal social etiquettes of course.)

Social. If I go to a nice bar (and there are some around) and occasionally clubs. I feel relatively old. Most people in the nice bars are either 18-30ish. And a lot are trying to appear more glamourous than they really are. Many come across as overtly shallow. Which doesn't appeal as a rule. I deliberately avoid the Mayfair/Kensington bars as there's packs of these girls who latch onto the mugs with the £1000 tables just for the free drinks

Work. I have a pretty strict "no dipping company ink" policy. I've seen too many couples form at work and then during the inevitable break up it becomes too polarized. I work in a male dominated industry. There are some lovely girls here. But I wont chance it. On a slight tangent my parents met via the same company but they worked at different sites.

Hobby. A few years ago I joined a "sports group" for a year. We'd meet up once a week to train. Mixed crowd agewise. We were all competing at the sport in question. There was 1 couple there (they met before the club) It may just be an unlucky group. But didn't meet anyone there that I would have considered a relationship with. And obviously no one was interested in the same with me. I did often see a girl at the leisure centre I frequented a lot. But I don't really like to intrude when someones doing their thing. They went to workout. Not be hit on.

So where do I go to meet interesting, intelligent women? My argument would be that they are a dying breed. So it's no wonder it's hard to stumble upon them.

[Rich_W]

DonkeyApple said:

It doesn't sound any different to how it has always been. I really do think all the marketing actually has people thinking that it has changed when it hasn't.

It's changed.

Just with the age of Social Media people aren't limited to those they will bump into. And the flipside is it means people can see every other person out there. And they get the idea that there's always a better option. So why settle?

DonkeyApple said:

But out of interest, why did you mention Kensington and Chelsea? It's up there with Essex for not finding appropriate humans. You need to go parochial to find the normal people.

On occasion I have been to various clubs in that area. a) It completely fks up your logistics of getting a girl from the bar to your (or her) bedroom if it's going to take 45mins to get there and b) Because some of the mugs in there spunk that grand on a table. The girls attracted to such places. Are looking for someone specific.

CountZero23 said:

Two words. Horse riding.

Can't think of a sport with a better ratio (unless you take up netball).

If I was single I'd be right down the stables. Not like the sport is short on mentalists though.

True story. Years ago I was on a night out with a former friend. He came from money, and was a bit nice-but-dim (despite his education) His GF at the time was a competitive horse rider. Represented England IIRC, (might be county level, can't remember)

Anyway, she was a good laugh and wasn't precious. Not really my type looks wise. (Horse teeth!) So we got on fairly well. So we're on this night out. Me, the BF, the horse rider and a friend of theirs, who tbh was only there cause he offered to drive. Bit of a sad case)

Mate has gotten really drunk. Not aggro he's just slurring his words a bit and laughing too much. We're sitting at this table in a ste pub and she's next to me, with the other 2 opposite. And she's a little tipsy (not really drunk, just loosened a bit) and just rubbing my leg and crotch like crazy under the table and giving me "the look" He's wasted so he's not cottoned on at all. I'm not encouraging her, but I ain't stopping her either!

When we went home, he called shotgun. But I had to overrule him as being the back of the car with her, probably would have ended up with her blowing me! And at the time I felt a bit guilty for him.

Hindsight of course, means I probably should have accepted it... So there's something in this horse riding thing. Though I accept you do come a distant 3rd/4th/19th after the horses.

Facebook stalking reveals they aren't together anymore, but she seems to have found a clone of him to be in a relationship with.

GroundEffect said:

Rich_W said:

Remember, Marriage is essentially betting everything you own and your mental health that a girl won't change...

Or you...

Men marry their wife hoping she'll stay the same.
Women marry their husband so they can change him. And then of course complain that he's not the guy they married and divorce him. Taking everything he owns and his dignity with them...

Marry, Divorce, Cash in is evidently a career choice for a sizeable chunk of women between 30-50 these days. Mainly because they have led such st shallow lives they have nothing to offer anyone and have nothing to show for themselves. So aim to get someone else to provide for them as they are "worth it"

Ari said:

It goes back to what I was saying earlier - find a woman that has got something about her rather than the prettiest possible who is so far out of your league that the only reason she's picked you is for your financial potential.

They don't have to be "out of my league" looks wise. It's become the defacto mindset!

Ari said:

Now they're all perfectly attractive women, but I'm sure if I posted photos of any of them in the Aintree thread they'd get torn to shreds by the braying masses that refuse to entertain the notion of anyone that doesn't look like a supermodel.

I don't think you understand that thread. Those girls get ripped because they look fking ridiculous! And like a st ton of women, think they are some kind of catch. they ONLY go to Aintree to try and bag some rich mug. Not like you see them at a rainy evening Kempton is it.

Ari said:

But maybe it's time to grow up and realise that the only reason a supermodel is going to date a very average looking IT geek with an unhealthy interest in his Subaru is because she doesn't have much else going for her beyond her looks. So if you insist on that, that's what you're going to get.

In fact there are lots of very nice, pleasant, sorted, solvent women out there.

But strangely, they don't all look exactly like supermodels.

You are fixated on looks. I don't think any of the guys here who seen the way women are going these ways (and thus GTOW to a lesser or greater degree) are as worried about looks as you think. most are worried about the bad attitude women over 30 now display as entitlement

Crossflow Kid said:

Netballers on the other hand....quite filthy.

Funnily enough Netballers would be my type. Skinny, tall generally, sporty. (good with hand ball control )

xjay1337 said:

I'm sure if you look on mumsnet it will be plenty of opposite tales.

If you can provide links of a Mumsnet user having to pay out loads to their divorced husband Id be amazed!

Sa Calobra said:

One thing that I've noticed is 20 something females drink prostigous amounts of wine. I know one recently; bottle of wine before going out, two 'shared' between her and her mate then cocktails. If I did that it'd be hideous.

There's a fair few like this. All drinking like it no tomorrow. What will they look like when they are 40something?


I've also heard how they talk about men. A few eye blokes well out their league and are oblivious that this is thecase. You could parallel mens behaviour upto this point. They are oblivious that makeup can hide the damage.

Was the 90's baby girls told they were all princesses by their parents and not given boundaries?

All true and I guarantee that these are the girls who think they should never settle for someone "beneath them"

Sir Lord Poopie said:

How fat are we talking?

Size 10 upwards.



No, tbh I draw the line at 12. But then I'm slim so it's not ideal if she weighs more than me!

I have a friend, she's married and I think she's great. But she is probably a size 14/16. She went out on a girls night recently. Did her hair and nice dress. But all her friends were commenting "Wow what a babe"

She's not. If she lost a couple stone. Yep. She has tried all these fad diets but it never works because, well why should she put the effort in?

All this constant praise feeds girls egos and around we go again.

[Rich_W]

ADM06 said:

Size ten or even twelve and up is fat now? Jesus, maybe if you're a tiny waif of a man.

It was a joke.

Hence why I hinted I think "real fat" starts at 14

[Rich_W]

Colonial said:

Ah, this is the thread where 4's complain that 8's aren't dating them so wimmenz must all be stuck up cows.

It's been what, 4 months since the last one?

No. and we've covered this.

It's the thread where people point out that girls who are 5's only want 10's. And that's not just based on Looks. but attitude, intelligence, everything.

As a guy, I expect to find a girl whose around the same "value" as me. I don't hate women like some posters would like to think. I just find it odd that modern single women over 30 (maybe that should be in the thread title) have expectations far beyond what is sensible. I don't want to date these girls. TBH I've gotten to a point where I don't really care if I'm single forever. It's not that Ive even been "hurt" by women during my life. I just find that a lot (not all) of girls don't interest me. Sure they can be good looking to my eyes. But other than that what are they bringing to a relationship? A lot seem to think having a vagina is enough and a guy should be greatful

But if this thread has shown anything. There's a lot of guys who are proper white knights who perpetuate that mindset

Vocal Minority said:

Because this thread is a microcosm of angry men - because all of a sudden women are being choosy about them rather than just being thankful for the attention that the man is generous enough to bestow on them.

I can't speak for others. But don't think that though. I'm not angry, just bewildered by it. It's somewhat prevalent. It's easy to wrote off MGTOW or NeoMasculine as "hating women" or "angry" But I don't think it's that at all. I think it's a sound financial and lifestyle decision.

Jagmanv12 said:

IMO women are very choosy. Why not? It's their choice.
I'm choosy about the women I find attractive.
It's widely known that women get loads of messages from dating sites. You can see several very attractive women are listed for months if not years. Bearing in mind that over that period they will probably have received hundreds of messages and yet haven't found a suitable partner?

Obviously judgement can only be made on appearance and they may have other faults.
Or maybe they are unicorn hunters. Who knows.

I think we both know the answer to that. But of course the White knights will know better

TwistingMyMelon said:

It explains why is he single though .... propper catch...form a queue wimmins..just not for marriage

Keep telling yourself that I'm no player though. I've only shagged 2 girls in the last year. I'm just finding that a lot of girls from all walks of life and various careers fit into the theme of the original post. They have unrealistic expectations of a partner based on their own lives.

amare32 said:

This thread is really growing arms, legs and big a55 Potential pop corn legend PH thread in the making...

On the subject of fat women, in my eyes anyone over 12 needs to pay regular visits to the gym. The only problem is, the amount that modern women puts away in wine/cocktails cannot be cancelled out with 'regular' amounts of exercise.

This is true.

Honest question to the guys on here. Your current or ex girlfriend. Did she go keep fit, go to the gym, do a sport more than twice a week for more than 8 weeks. did she quit? I would imagine from my empirical observations that it's approx 90/10% With the 10% being the ones that stick at it. Or do it regularly. Being on the larger size and expecting to find a guy whose a Underwear model is par for the course these days. (Or judging from my Facebook. The amount of "Basic bhes" (for another thread) who salivate over Tom Hardy and seemingly genuinely think they'll marry him. They are delusional!

Willy Nilly said:

xjay1337 said:

Willy Nilly said:

xjay1337 said:

Even though the average size of a woman is 16?

So the "average" woman is fat.

It's no secret that most people and women in the UK are over weight. There is a huge number of fat women.

And many fat men (me included). But generally men who are a bit tubby aren't ridiculed or openly called fat where as women are!

I'm also balding. So it's the worst of both worlds.

I ridicule all fat people, Tubby.

So do I

For reference, I'm taller than the ONS average, weigh less and have my own hair that starts 2" north of my eyebrows. Not the Maccy D arches so many guys I know have. They also have long term partners. Wonder if it's related...

Getting a bit soft of late. So I could probably do with some cutting though.

EDIT

This is a quote a girl I was chatting to posted a while back on Instagram



This is also the same girl that would always answer my messages quickly, was showing lots of interest. We are what I would consider equals. Lots of similarities in life, actviites etc. But I felt I was making all the effort. So (as a test) I asked her to call me when she got in from work.

She couldn't be bothered. And when I gently took the piss a day or 2 later. She complained that I hadn't made the effort and called her. I just stopped bothering. I don't assume this pic was aimed at me. Probably the next schmuck...

In isolation you'd just say it was this one girl. But when you see this quote posted (along with hundreds like it) by girls over 30 who have been single for a long time. I don't believe it's a coincidence. And for some reason things have changed from even 10 years ago. And it baffles me.

Especially as I'm not the only one whose seen it.

Edited by Rich_W on Friday 17th March 22:47

[Rich_W]

DonkeyApple said:

Well, here's a few starters. Online woman selection hardly has a starting point in any form of respect or warmth. It also has no viable initial filtering so you've got every single type being mixed in together whereas a physical venue will filter very strongly. In short, selecting people online has zero credible intellectual system. It will always be the Yates Wine Lodge of the imaginary world.

Actually I suspect it's mostly the opposite. Once you remove the physical aspect. (i.e. what you both look like and whether you both fancy each other enough to strike up and engage in a conversation) Online dating FORCES people to list qualities about themselves. Their interests. Their hobbies. Their outlooks. You can filter out a shed load of women who just have pics of them drinking. And list "socialising" as their hobby. That girl in your Yates's I have no idea about her until at least 3-10 mins into a conversation.

DonkeyApple said:

At the same time, it's not as if blokes have been doing themselves any favours. They have become gender confused. Living off debt, shopping for fancy clothes and wearing sparkly jewellery. It's no surprise that women struggle to find partners when the vast majority of men are living traditional female lifestyles.

It's all well and good blaming women but it's not women who have changed. It's men who have changed.

There are plenty of nice women out there but as has always been the case, smart women will seek a smart man, nice people prefer nice people and if you spend all your time looking in the mirror, poncing about in jewellery and spending on your money on clothes and fripperies then you should be surprised when normal women treat you like a bh.

Sure, women think they are more emancipated today than before, they have greater spending power and are more equal but the real change is that blokes are acting and living like women and then wondering why they are getting chewed up by women who they have made the 'male' in their relationship.

Not sure I agree. Yes I know lots of guys that do the "big watch thing" image and all the rest. But it's not the majority. And to a degree. Having a good haircut, being in decent shape and wearing clothes that fit you properly. Is a good thing isn't it? So long as it doesn't "become your life" It's about balance. You should have some depth to yourself. Not just the visual. It's IMO where "MSW" are going wrong. It's ALL about the visual to them. And to any guy with half a brain. It's a turn off.

Rh14n said:

For God's sake, quit whining and being so negative! You're clearly an expert on the way women (apparently) think and work, every single thing you've said about women has given the impression that you have no respect, or even like women (despite the odd comment trying to persuade us that you "don't hate women"). You complain that they're not worth you putting in any effort and yet you '"test" them wanting them to run to you.

I "test" because I wont be the guy that does EVERYTHING in a relationship (which to be fair the girl mentioned above wasn't that far in) I want an equal. NOT a pet. I imagine you would have supplicated in that instance. Just because she was a girl.

Rh14n said:

You seem to think that there is just one type of woman when, lets face it, that's clearly not true.

The strange thing is that this "not settling" attitude is across the board. Doesn't matter what demographic they come from. Tall, Short. Fat, Thin, Ugly, Beautiful. The one constant is they are over 30 and single. I never noticed it but once I saw it I looked at it and saw it more commonly than I thought. hence the thread.

Rh14n said:

Don't just go for the thin ones with the pouty selfies, look for a bit of personality.

ERR that's entirely my point. I want personality, and flaws and everything that I have (and I don't go for pouty types) But it seems I'm searching a unicorn

Rh14n said:

Try being open, fun and call them - you don't have to be a doormat.

I don't need to try being open and fun. It's what I do But similarly if someone isn't prepared to be an equal, then it makes you a doormat to keep doing everything.

Rh14n said:

Instead of being on PH at 2247 hours on a Friday night go out and try more traditional methods of meeting the opposite sex.

1) I was at work today 6th day on the trot at 8am. I often work 6 days a week. It's called "having a career" Something the aforementioned pouty types don't quite understand.
2) Pray do tell where you can meet a girl at 2247 on a Friday that is not the shallow princess type with expectations above her station? A Bar? A Club?

RDMcG said:

They only had a single unifying characteristic.

They were all as smart or much smarter than I was.

And THAT is what I suspect MOST guys are looking for! I certainly am looking for an equal.

CharlesdeGaulle said:

RDMcG - there's no place on this thread for your wisdom and common-sense!

No there's no place on this thread from his "data" from 40 years ago! This is a new thing. Probably driven by the increase in Social Media and online dating?

RicharDC5 said:

The thread is titled 'modern single women' though. The stuff above doesn't seem relevant.
Of course there are very intelligent and well adjusted single women out there, it just seems that they are few and far between (or just not in the places where people are looking).

If expecting a phone call back after dating a few times is narcissistic and having ridiculous standards, what the hell does that say about women?

Exactly!

StescoG66 said:

That said, I do think that girls nowadays have very high expectations - fuelled very much by the media. ... sets a materialistic expectation that many girls seem to perceive as their right.

DuncanM said:

People,(men and women) need to concentrate more on the type of human being they wish to spend time with, not who they'd like to 'smash'.

I think you haven't read or understood this thread.

The point is that guys WANT the former. They want the "type of human to spend time with" But can't find it. Since a huge chunk of women aren't like that anymore!

RicharDC5 said:

Ari said:

PAUL500 said:

I do wonder if the white knights have ever actually dipped their toes into the current pool of single online daters?

I think your problem is right there.

Honestly, if you consider anyone who doesn't believe that all women are vapid one dimensional consumerists (oh, and fat and lazy now, it seems) only out there to snare and then rip off a man to be a 'white knight' (what an utterly ridiculous description that is), then maybe you had better get used to a life alone.

Either that or look at the common denominator and figure out what needs to change...

And to answer your question, yes, as described in a previous post if you care to look.

The problem is yours. If you believe that anyone who is in any way critical of a small number of women, has fundamental problems with women in general, you are 'white knighting'. You can't accept criticism of women in any form, and have to defend your views by turning to polarising arguments.

I think the boy in the film "Sixth sense" said it.

"I see White Knights everywhere. They don't even know they're White Knights"

gregs656 said:

^^ you're not doing the 'modern single man' any favours with this petty nonsense, hardly need mumsnet when it gets to this level.

I don't think it's unfair to question someone's empirical point of view.

Especially when I suspect it's cobblers based on what he "thinks" the situation is. Rather than the actual experience of myself and a fair few other posters. This poster utterly believes that we are exaggerating or making things up to fit a narrative.

[Rich_W]

Robertj21a said:

PAUL500 said:

As I said before, in my own experience the pool of single girls that are seen to be out there are typically found on dating apps/websites, these places as they become more mainstream then attract a certain type (which is where this thread starts) and the perception over time then is that they represent the majority of singles, when in fact they are just a concentrated minority, and the majority of genuine single girls looking for someone are lying low somewhere, yet to be discovered.

Edited by PAUL500 on Saturday 18th March 19:48

These 'missing' girls are the significant number who are simply staying in, or round at their Mum's house, talking to their friends on the phone, doing their washing/ironing, having a bath etc etc - in fact just what most 'normal' girls have always done.

So how does a guy meet them? Or do they literally just date in their social circle the whole time?

[Rich_W]

Nanook said:

Where do you think all the nice fun girls are at that time on a Friday night? At home, playing scrabble?

With a point of view so negative, it's hardly surprising you sound like that. Not all girls that like music, dancing, a few drinks, are shallow princess types with expectations above thier station, and the fact that you posted such a thing makes you seem about as deep as a puddle, in comparison.

Clubs and Bars and Pubs are FULL of women over 30 with a princess complex. To suggest otherwise tells me you haven't been to a town centre after 9pm in ages. To eschew those sort of women makes ME shallow?

Or maybe, as I suspect, you haven't read or understood a damn thing on this thread. "Decided" that its fat guys chasing model girls, getting knoecked back and therefore hate women. When it's NOTHING of the sort

DonkeyApple said:

Because of that, venues on a Friday and Saturday are riddled with punters that are only there because of social pressures and the sad predatory blokes in their black shirts, loafers and Jimmy Saville style gold bangles. It's really only suitable for rutting.

One of the few things you've said that makes any sense.

DonkeyApple said:

And having to be at work by 8am is pretty irrelevant until you get into your 50s and have to be asleep by 9pm

Well aren't you a fking hero And if it had been a date with a girlfriend. I may have made the effort. But it wasn't.

DonkeyApple said:

And modern blokes are the new 'princesses'. The special ones who expect special treatment because they are special. They probably even meet up together before going out and talk abut it clothes over a bottle of Lambrusco. They certainly seem to drive around tapping on phones and look oking at themselves in the mirror.

Maybe women are seeing them as potential competition rather than potential partners?

And so far as I can see none of the posters here supporting my pov are in that category. But hey, keep missing my point! Keep assuming it MUST be the guys fault.

Nanook said:

Maybe he's going to the wrong sort of place then? Around here there are chavvy nightclubs, there are goth/metal nightclubs, there are quiet pubs, loud pubs, and absolutely everything inbetween. Tarring an entire sex with one brush because he got probably got KB'd in a nightclub one time is a bit silly

Only as EVERYONE who shares my pov has said. That's not the point we're making! It's a mindset of a lot of single women over 30 that feel that 99% of guys are not up to their standard. This applies to every single venue you've mentioned.

I get knocked back. Of course I do. But I guarantee that I talk to more "new" women a month than you and the posters who share the same views as you. You miss 100% of the chances you don't take. It doesn't bother me. I don't have fear of rejection. I go up to a girl I ask her a question or make a statement (sounds unsexy no?) She says "sorry I have a BF" That might be true. It might be to get rid of me. Either way it's hardly an attack on my morales, or net worth or career status or my friends or my goals in life. It's her loss (potentially) I could have been PERFECT for her. But similarly we could have hated each other. It simply doesnt matter because she doesn't know me. So why worry about her initial/instant dismissal of me?

My point, from the outset, has beem I just find the whole mindset of too many women baffling. But YOU like so many WHITE KNIGHTS simply won't allow that Women are ALSO at fault. It has to be because I (and loads of others) are losers or angry or whatever.

Baz Tench said:

Daily Mash doing the timely thing again...

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/__trash...

I don't doubt it happens. And yes, I know its satire.

But to flip it. Just like the girls you see on POF or Tinder. Or the girls always crying that they can't find a good man. How much of this is down to Women being "un-pullable" or just not offering worth ANY guy making an effort for?

That's my point. And one that seems to be backed up by people who have actually left their homes.


EDIT TO ADD
Some of the numerous memes quoted by women. Sadly lapped up by White Knights everywhere

Edited by Rich_W on Sunday 19th March 13:25