14yr old- flash point over him living on his PlayStation

[Hugo Stiglitz]

What do we do?

I've said 2hrs max gaming time a day to which he says go away and shut up.

If I enforce it he'll go and lie in his bed sulking for hours.

I know this is minor to some but do I enforce it by taking it away entirely for a punishment period, say days?

My wife thinks I'm mean when I enforce turning it off and he then refuses to come out of his room 'spoiling the mood in the house for everyone else'.

Help!

[Hugo Stiglitz]

This is all he does. PlayStation. He wouldn't go cycling with me this weekend. He slept in this morning so we couldn't go and see his Grandmother as unbeknown to me he sneaked and found his controller then sat till 2am playing last night.

I honestly feel that he needs a reset. Then we can start again with the PlayStation boundaries.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

OK, alittle more information. A few weeks ago a boy assaulted him at school and ran off. Saying he had said (shouted) something perogative about religion. They say things to push the boundaries and shock each other and apperently one of his friends told axhool that yes he did say it. Word got round and - a ststorm at school. School got all involved in and made my son apologise (even though my son point blank stated he said nothing of the sort bit he had to admit to it to make it go away.

He refuses to admit it so I said no PlayStation time - he soon got round that when I was at work.

I'm worn out but I really do think the bloody thing needs a break sat in my office on my desk.

My wife is worn out but relents to avoid conflict.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

Baroque attacks said:

Basically you’ve ended up getting yourself into a position where you’re asking him and he’s telling you to FRO.

He seems to be in charge.

Yes and I'm a pushover. I always say at work that I'm the soft one (ironically I'm not) yet I imagine that at home I need to unwind so I become soft/can't stick to a punishment. My wife has always been reap the rewards of spoiling him whilst I have to be the stern one. Probably age 13 I also morphed into 'his mate'.

I'll enact the parental controls.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

Yes I'm his dad (sadly I can't walk out)


2am - he woke me up walking about.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

So this week I've taken him to his boxing, he's back again tonight. He was passively resistant but post attending bouncing.

Tomorrow I'm taking him back to Judo. I stopped abruptly last summer. We used to go together religiously multiple times a week.


I think there has been alittle father/son disengagement over time - not initiated or fault by him. He's still a 'young' 14yr old heading towards becoming a young man.

He was sat on the sofa last night with us watching a film - in his usual spot leaning on/next to me. Afterwards I let him play on his PlayStation till 1130 (yes late but its half term). At exactly 1130 I heard the button off sound/him getting into bed.

[Hugo Stiglitz]

Sycamore said:

vaud said:

Sycamore said:

You had a volatile son who was prone to kicking off when he didn't get his own way, so now you're training him in hand-to-hand combat
Upcoming thread next week about how you told him off and got Mr Miyagi'd

Personally I think it is a good idea. A disciplined sport that burns off energy... probably good to channel it.

Agreed, I'm just taking the piss.

The bigger issue would always be OP's wife not exactly backing him up

Yes. Yesterday she said I've been trying to make him drink water all day you make him. He obviously heard and must have been thinking 'ah the management are showing their weakness again'..

Edited by Hugo Stiglitz on Thursday 11th April 18:48