What's the most embarrassing thing you've done?
Discussion
I'm sure there are similar threads but I frankly don't care 
Anyway a cat thread reminded me of a partcularly embarrassing one of my own.
One morning I was just going in the shower of our old house when the cat ran in through the cat-flap with a screaming, struggling blackbird.
Being the softhearted fellow that I am I rushed to rescue our poor feathered friend.
The cat, however, was either wise to my ploy or terrified of my naked form bearing down on him and proceeded to rush back outside and maul the poor thing at the front of the house.
I looked around and the only thing I could find to put on was a pair of the girlfriends jeans which were far too small and could not be done up in any way whatsoever.
Hearing the birds increasing distress i though '
it- ill only be a second' and rushed out of the front door with my tackle hanging out with rescue on my mind.
One of the worse noises I ever heard was the sound of the door closing behind me.
The cat took one look at me, gathered the bird and ran straight through my legs and back in through the cat-flap to finish his torture.
Meanwhile i was left standing locked-out on the street wearing nothing but a pair of girls jeans which I was desperately, and quite unsuccessfully, attemtping to hold together with both hands.
I had to hobble round to a delighted neighbor and borrow some breaking-in tools.
Your turn
Anyway a cat thread reminded me of a partcularly embarrassing one of my own.
One morning I was just going in the shower of our old house when the cat ran in through the cat-flap with a screaming, struggling blackbird.
Being the softhearted fellow that I am I rushed to rescue our poor feathered friend.
The cat, however, was either wise to my ploy or terrified of my naked form bearing down on him and proceeded to rush back outside and maul the poor thing at the front of the house.
I looked around and the only thing I could find to put on was a pair of the girlfriends jeans which were far too small and could not be done up in any way whatsoever.
Hearing the birds increasing distress i though '
it- ill only be a second' and rushed out of the front door with my tackle hanging out with rescue on my mind. One of the worse noises I ever heard was the sound of the door closing behind me.
The cat took one look at me, gathered the bird and ran straight through my legs and back in through the cat-flap to finish his torture.
Meanwhile i was left standing locked-out on the street wearing nothing but a pair of girls jeans which I was desperately, and quite unsuccessfully, attemtping to hold together with both hands.
I had to hobble round to a delighted neighbor and borrow some breaking-in tools.
Your turn
Pricelesscarter711 said:
This was not embarrasing for me, but very embarrassing for the poor guy we victimized.
When i was about 14 my family met in a coastal part of Wales in the summer for a weekend break and i took along my best friend for some entertainment.
One evening we were walking to the local pub through the rear car park when my friend and I spot a purple ladies silk scarf lying on the ground so we pick it up and i dare my friend to put it over my mum's boyfriend's shoulders ( my mum's boyfreind was a bit of a dithering idiot) which he executes superbly and the guy (Ray) hasn't got a clue that he is wearing this purple silk scarf! So we find this highly amusing as we walk around the side of the pub into the front beer garden and sit down on a bench watching him standing around chatting away oblivious to what he is wearing. Cue a group of late 30 year olds at the next bench along from us looking at ray followed by one of the guys getting up and going over to Ray and saying "excuse me i think you are wearing my girlfriends scarf"!
Ray realised with shock what he was wearing, took it off, gave it back and fell over himself apologising and was very confused about the whole thing - the girl whos scarf it was must have thought he had found it on the floor, immediatly put it on and found it quite flattering on himself!
It was quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen - it still makes me laugh to this day.
God I wish I was your friend. You must have some incredible fun.When i was about 14 my family met in a coastal part of Wales in the summer for a weekend break and i took along my best friend for some entertainment.
One evening we were walking to the local pub through the rear car park when my friend and I spot a purple ladies silk scarf lying on the ground so we pick it up and i dare my friend to put it over my mum's boyfriend's shoulders ( my mum's boyfreind was a bit of a dithering idiot) which he executes superbly and the guy (Ray) hasn't got a clue that he is wearing this purple silk scarf! So we find this highly amusing as we walk around the side of the pub into the front beer garden and sit down on a bench watching him standing around chatting away oblivious to what he is wearing. Cue a group of late 30 year olds at the next bench along from us looking at ray followed by one of the guys getting up and going over to Ray and saying "excuse me i think you are wearing my girlfriends scarf"!
Ray realised with shock what he was wearing, took it off, gave it back and fell over himself apologising and was very confused about the whole thing - the girl whos scarf it was must have thought he had found it on the floor, immediatly put it on and found it quite flattering on himself!
It was quite possibly the funniest thing i have ever seen - it still makes me laugh to this day.
That story is so funny I can scarcely believe it. I laughed so much that piss came out accidentally.
You couldn't make some of this stuff up.
silverback mike said:
Happened last Sunday.
Packed KFC, decided to take the kids as we were starving.
I'm at the counter just about to order, rather warm so I took my jumper off, only to realise I have taken my T Shirt off too. So, I'm half naked in a packed KFC desperately trying to get my T shirt out of the jumper much to the amusement of both my kids who were pointing and absolutely killing themselves laughing. Even the folks behind the counter were killing themselves..
I really felt like killing myself....
Packed KFC, decided to take the kids as we were starving.
I'm at the counter just about to order, rather warm so I took my jumper off, only to realise I have taken my T Shirt off too. So, I'm half naked in a packed KFC desperately trying to get my T shirt out of the jumper much to the amusement of both my kids who were pointing and absolutely killing themselves laughing. Even the folks behind the counter were killing themselves..
I really felt like killing myself....
I like that one.Oh porn reminds me of one.
I was lending a friend a porn video at the back of Economics lesson back at school when the female teacher noticed and said "what's that?"
"Er... nothing Miss. Just an erm erm erm just nothing"
"Let me see"
"No miss it's nothing at all"
"Give it to me now"
I saw in my bag a black textbook which I was convinced vaguely resembled the video and I victoriously held it aloft with relief saying "It's just this book Miss- here you are"
"Not that. I want the video you were just handing to Paul"
I felt horror as I handed over the video with a big sticker with the words "Anal Honeys" written down the spine of it in my writing. Even more shamefully I don't even think that was the films proper name- merely my description.
My humiliation was furthered by a summons to the head master who was a real strict old fashioned bloke who did not see the funny side of it at all. His opening sentence was
"I have reviewed the video you bought onto school premises and it contains erect penises, and graphic scenes of anal sex. THis is strictly illegal and the last time this happened I involved the police..."
I f
king shat myself.
I was lending a friend a porn video at the back of Economics lesson back at school when the female teacher noticed and said "what's that?"
"Er... nothing Miss. Just an erm erm erm just nothing"
"Let me see"
"No miss it's nothing at all"
"Give it to me now"
I saw in my bag a black textbook which I was convinced vaguely resembled the video and I victoriously held it aloft with relief saying "It's just this book Miss- here you are"
"Not that. I want the video you were just handing to Paul"
I felt horror as I handed over the video with a big sticker with the words "Anal Honeys" written down the spine of it in my writing. Even more shamefully I don't even think that was the films proper name- merely my description.
My humiliation was furthered by a summons to the head master who was a real strict old fashioned bloke who did not see the funny side of it at all. His opening sentence was
"I have reviewed the video you bought onto school premises and it contains erect penises, and graphic scenes of anal sex. THis is strictly illegal and the last time this happened I involved the police..."
I f
king shat myself.I have a little tale that is embarrassing for the people involved but not for me.
I was on the train one day sat at one of the tables and it was busy hence to the side of us was a lady standing.
THis lady was approximately 45 years old and the woman opposite me was about 2 or 3 years younger than her.
THis stupid lady opposite me, though, utterly misjudged the other woman's age and patronisingly said to her:
"Here, please-sit down-take my seat"
Standing Woman looked confused and replied that she was absolutely fine, thank you.
Rather than let it go, Stupid Bint carried on "No! I insist - here have my seat" with the smug glow of the self righteous
Even as Standing Woman was beginning to object, Stupid Bint was physically manhandling her into the seat with smug nodding.
So we are sat there my barely suppressing my laughter, Standing Woman sitting opposite me looking quite upset and smug Stupid Bint standing next to us looking delighted with herself. Would she leave it at that? No, of course not. She then proceeded to explain to Standing Woman how she always makes sure she lets older people sit down because she knows how tiring her own mother finds travelling on public transport. Remember at this point that I estimate no more than about 2 or 3 years difference between their ages.
Now Standing-Sitting-Woman was clearly on the verge of tears and bright red with embarrassment at being the victim of this fiasco and I started feeling extremely sorry for her so I decided to intervene.
As Stupid Bint was halfway through a sentence about how her aging mother also found it difficult, I leaned forward and said to Upset Standing Sitting Woman in a voice that was loud enough to cut Stupid Bint off in mid-sentence:
"If it's any consolation, everyone else on the train can quite clearly see that you are the same age as her!"
Two things happened simultaneously. Standing Sitting Woman looked completely relieved and said "Oh thank God for that - I honestly thought I was going mad for a moment" and Stupid Bint went completely scarlet. Redder than you can even imagine. She shut up instantly and was clearly looking to make her escape and yet deliciously the train was far too busy and she was trapped standing right next to us as I took great delight at continuing our conversation as though she wasn't there saying "No, don't worry-you aren't going mad. THat woman is clearly disturbed".
I've never enjoyed a train journey so much.
I was on the train one day sat at one of the tables and it was busy hence to the side of us was a lady standing.
THis lady was approximately 45 years old and the woman opposite me was about 2 or 3 years younger than her.
THis stupid lady opposite me, though, utterly misjudged the other woman's age and patronisingly said to her:
"Here, please-sit down-take my seat"
Standing Woman looked confused and replied that she was absolutely fine, thank you.
Rather than let it go, Stupid Bint carried on "No! I insist - here have my seat" with the smug glow of the self righteous
Even as Standing Woman was beginning to object, Stupid Bint was physically manhandling her into the seat with smug nodding.
So we are sat there my barely suppressing my laughter, Standing Woman sitting opposite me looking quite upset and smug Stupid Bint standing next to us looking delighted with herself. Would she leave it at that? No, of course not. She then proceeded to explain to Standing Woman how she always makes sure she lets older people sit down because she knows how tiring her own mother finds travelling on public transport. Remember at this point that I estimate no more than about 2 or 3 years difference between their ages.
Now Standing-Sitting-Woman was clearly on the verge of tears and bright red with embarrassment at being the victim of this fiasco and I started feeling extremely sorry for her so I decided to intervene.
As Stupid Bint was halfway through a sentence about how her aging mother also found it difficult, I leaned forward and said to Upset Standing Sitting Woman in a voice that was loud enough to cut Stupid Bint off in mid-sentence:
"If it's any consolation, everyone else on the train can quite clearly see that you are the same age as her!"
Two things happened simultaneously. Standing Sitting Woman looked completely relieved and said "Oh thank God for that - I honestly thought I was going mad for a moment" and Stupid Bint went completely scarlet. Redder than you can even imagine. She shut up instantly and was clearly looking to make her escape and yet deliciously the train was far too busy and she was trapped standing right next to us as I took great delight at continuing our conversation as though she wasn't there saying "No, don't worry-you aren't going mad. THat woman is clearly disturbed".
I've never enjoyed a train journey so much.
fido said:
blindswelledrat said:
Even as Standing Woman was beginning to object, Stupid Bint was physically manhandling her into the seat with smug nodding.so much.
That bit I find particularly scary. So she basically made her sit down in the seat? God, I would have lamped her if I was the other woman! "Hands off me you crazy b8tch!"SMcP114 said:
Not once in my life have I even been close to stting myself, but reading these forums it seems it's more common than I thought.
Yes. It also seems to cause disproportionate hilarity as well.tting myself, but reading these forums it seems it's more common than I thought.Poster: So, I did a s
t right. And it was in my pants and not even in the toilet.Everyone on Pistonheads except BSR:
JonRB said:
Whilst I do actually agree with you in this instance, you are somewhat known for finding absolutely nothing funny, old chap. 
You cant do both at once. You can't agree with me and criticise me at the same time. That is the rules.Although admittedly I am being a bit mean where this thread is concerned. There were a couple of genuinely smile-inducing anecdotes but unfortunately the general collective then mistook this as a thread to discuss any time in their life they had done a s
t in their pants Seriously, why has this thread become "Please tell us about some sts you have done"??
Go and start another thread for crying out loud.
We can just accept that every person in the world has had a runny st at some stage and be done with these tedious anecdotes.
Had a runny st you want to tell us about? We're not interested. We've had them too. We know what they are like.
ts you have done"??Go and start another thread for crying out loud.
We can just accept that every person in the world has had a runny s
t at some stage and be done with these tedious anecdotes.Had a runny s
t you want to tell us about? We're not interested. We've had them too. We know what they are like.Chim said:
blindswelledrat said:
Seriously, why has this thread become "Please tell us about some sts you have done"??
Go and start another thread for crying out loud.
We can just accept that every person in the world has had a runny st at some stage and be done with these tedious anecdotes.
Had a runny st you want to tell us about? We're not interested. We've had them too. We know what they are like.
Have to agree, stories are all a bit sts you have done"??Go and start another thread for crying out loud.
We can just accept that every person in the world has had a runny s
t at some stage and be done with these tedious anecdotes.Had a runny s
t you want to tell us about? We're not interested. We've had them too. We know what they are like.tty now 
In my defence, I was not the one doing the s
tting in my tale. Have had many embarrassing episodes in life though so will attempt to dredge the cesspit of my memory and put down in print a slightly less stty tale later. This will hopefully encourage others to point their stories out of the toilet bowl
Unfortunately it created a monster though. People tripping over themselves to describe a loose stool they once had. Almost an influx of stool describing tourettes for no obvious reason
ozzuk said:
I
So she hands me this plastic cup to fill in the toilet, which I do. As I'm washing my hands I notice a few drops around the lip of the cup and think to myself - that's not very hygenic, can't be pleasant for the nurse. So I'm stood there wondering what to do and I notice the hand drier that I'm just about to dry my hands with. Perfect I think, I'll just pass it very quickly under and job done.
Except its not perfect.
As I quickly pass the cup under the drier it literally explodes like some kind of cyclone. Air rushes into the cup forcing the urine out everywhere. All over the floor, the walls, me. I think I even had some run down my nose.
.
So she hands me this plastic cup to fill in the toilet, which I do. As I'm washing my hands I notice a few drops around the lip of the cup and think to myself - that's not very hygenic, can't be pleasant for the nurse. So I'm stood there wondering what to do and I notice the hand drier that I'm just about to dry my hands with. Perfect I think, I'll just pass it very quickly under and job done.
Except its not perfect.
As I quickly pass the cup under the drier it literally explodes like some kind of cyclone. Air rushes into the cup forcing the urine out everywhere. All over the floor, the walls, me. I think I even had some run down my nose.
.
RobbieKB said:
I'm with BSR on the relentless st anecdotes (yes, that works both ways), but that one is superb.
Im with me but I also liked that one. I was angry at first, as it has no business being on this thread but it was amusing enough to be fine anywhere.t anecdotes (yes, that works both ways), but that one is superb. TO me it built up to this bit which made me properly snigger
irocfan said:
I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest st of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.
.
t of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this..
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