Yesterday, 'oi 'arve been mostly -- spat at

[mybrainhurts]

So, there I am, sitting in the long queue at the traffic lights that show red 90% of the time, when a young lady in the Clio in front opens her door and places a Greggs sandwich and box on the road, then closes the door and moves up to the next red light.

Being a helpful type, I stop next to the sandwich, open my door, pick it up, stop behind the Clio (check - three attractive and elegant black young ladies in the car, no big yoofs), then walk up to it and quickly pop it through her window with a cheery You dropped this, glad to help reunite you with it..

Then what happens...? Ungrateful little gits, all hell breaks loose.

In a flash, there are three young ladies in the road.

One hurls the sandwich all over my bonnet and windscreen, while Miss Superlungs inhales, leans back and gobs all over my windscreen from 10 yards away...

Superb accuracy, range and style...this girl can spit for England.

Was going to offer my services as manager but, alas, the lights changed and they drove off.

What a delightful young generation we have today, full of fun....

[mybrainhurts]

NiceCupOfTea said:

They sound like really classy ladies.

....Aye, great shame, they were really rather attractive

[mybrainhurts]

TVR Moneypit said:

Straight out of Pitsmoor. What did you expect?

Dead right....

Was going to follow them, but they were heading towards Pitsmoor, so I withdrew...

[mybrainhurts]

Los Palmas 7 said:

Serves you right, you meddlesome do-gooder.

Oi...I got a load of cheers for that..

[mybrainhurts]

Chris_w666 said:

Did you not just think yummy free sandwich?

Pikey...

[mybrainhurts]

The Count said:

You did the right thing, Brain.

Terrible to think these girls can just attack an elderly pensioner like that.

I will have you for that, you count...

[mybrainhurts]

10 Pence Short said:

I certainly hope you watched her spit on your windscreen, then stared her straight in the face whilst doing a little blast of the wash/wipe.

We were all out of the cars. Was going to try that on an overtake, but the opportunity went...

[mybrainhurts]

Jasandjules said:

If I am not mistaken isn't spitting now counted as assualt? Did you get the license plate?

Got the number...

We have three counts of litter...sandwich twice, then a departing fag, the spitting thing and I was really, really, really, no, I mean really distressed , so a S5 Public Order Act fixed penalty is in order...

Watch this space...

[mybrainhurts]

Simps said:

Please tell me you aren't that much of an ?

Cross dresser...?

[mybrainhurts]

Can we drop the racist jibes, chaps?

If the thread gets locked, I won't be able to relate the final outcome .....

[mybrainhurts]

Waiter said:

jamoor said:

changingman said:

This is what you need
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Legal-Self-Defence-Spray-Far...

does it work on blacks?

What the F**ck..?

earlier I said:

Can we drop the racist jibes, chaps?

If the thread gets locked, I won't be able to relate the final outcome

[mybrainhurts]

littlegreenfairy said:

muckymotor said:

mat13 said:

littlegreenfairy said:

TVR Moneypit said:

mat13 said:

mybrainhurts said:

TVR Moneypit said:

Straight out of Pitsmoor. What did you expect?

Dead right....

Was going to follow them, but they were heading towards Pitsmoor, so I withdrew...

if ever there was an area that needed nuking....

a close second would be eastwood

Eastwood :shudder: I used to run a pub in Eastwood. Bloody awfull.


Please feel free to include Parsons Cross, Southey Green, Lundwood, Hathersley North & South, Mannor, Jordonthorpe, Batemoor, Lowedges, Norfolk Park, Clifton, Tinsley, Darnhall, Orgreave and Shiregreen. I'm sure there are a few others that I have missed.


Thats quite a long list of dumps I have on my doorstep. Sheffield and to a larger extent the whole of South Yorkshire is pretty much a city of two clearly divided halves. The half that has, and the half that has not, with a very clear divide in terms of wealth, employment, education, crime and life expectancy between the two.

Edited by TVR Moneypit on Saturday 1st August 15:42

Burngreve, Gleadless, Arbourthorne.......


ETA Darnall Mosborough, Broomhall, London Road (Lansdown Estate), Parson's Cross....

Edited by littlegreenfairy on Saturday 1st August 17:27

mosbrough doesnt look too bad ive just put an offer in on a house up there

I was just about to mention Mosborough shouldn't be in that list, or did you intend to type Masborough?

You're right - I'm wrong! Obviously wasn't paying close attention to the road signs as I was driving through. Sorry! I must have meant the estate just before it (towards halfway from City Road)

That be Manor, Birley Moor or Frecheville, that be.....

[mybrainhurts]

littlegreenfairy said:

mybrainhurts said:

That be Manor, Birley Moor or Frecheville, that be.....

Whatever it was, it was st.

What were you doing in Pitsmoor? Have you a death wish?!

Furnival Road, near the Hilton...wouldn't dare do that in Pitsmoor, I can't run faster than bullets..

[mybrainhurts]

Update...

Three months have passed, and not a dicky bird from the Boys in Blue.

No surprise there, then....