Women!!!! how the hell do I deal with this!
Discussion
I would not usually post something like this on an internet forum, but I don’t know what the hell to do….
Twelve months ago I started a young girl on in my team. When she came to interview I was struck by how absolutely stunning she was, she looks just like Katherine Jenkins, she has a body to die for, slim with boobs that are perhaps a little big for the rest of her body. She is witty, funny and VERY clever. She is 28, single, has her own flat… and is also car mad! The first time she walked with me down the office, ALL my colleagues stopped and stared… the office went silent! She really is a stunner. Men are always commenting…
We worked together for several months and I realised just how good she was, so did my boss. I gave her more responsibility and coached her; I could see real potential. On my recommendation she was promoted to the same level as me which now means we spend a lot of time together, our jobs are linked. We travel around the UK extensively and therefore spend quite a few evenings together. Working as a team (we really complement one another) we have increased profits by 400% and we have both received substantial bonuses!
Four months ago we were in London together and she (lets call her Katherine) suggested we ate out, rather than in the hotel as we normally do. She knows London quite well so we walked out of the hotel together and along the Thames to a little Italian restaurant. We had a long lazy meal with a bottle of wine, and a couple of Lemonchello to finish. We started the walk back to the hotel, and as we walked along she put her arm through mine. I have to say I felt very flattered to have this girl on my arm, and see all the admiring looks she gets. Men just stare at her. Back in the hotel, another glass of wine and off to our respective rooms.
The following weeks we were in Telford and stayed in Ironbridge, same thing, we went for a long walk along the river to a little restaurant, spent hours chatting about anything and everything, and then walked back to the hotel, this time she held my hand… When we got back to the hotel the bar was shut, she suggested we went to her room for a nightcap, she held my hand and gave it a squeeze and gave me a “look” but I said I was too tired and wanted to sleep.
She has never talked about relationships, but that night she told me that although she has had a few short term flings, (she confessed a couple with married men…) on the whole she found it difficult to find anyone she felt she could have a longer term relationship with. She said most men that approach her are dick heads, and she can’t find a way to meet the right sort of man… I have always been very open about my relationship with my wife, often commenting that I would never have an affair and that I was very happily married. Katherine keeps commenting on how luck my wife is…
Last month we had a mid year company event and my wife came. I introduced her to Katherine and they seemed to get on quite well. At the dinner my wife sat one side of me and Katherine sat the other. Driving home, my wife commented on how she felt a little threatened by Katherine as she said it was clear that we had such a friendly relationship and as she put it “she hangs on your every word” She asked why I had not told her how good looking she was… It didn’t help when we got home and our son looked at the photos of the evening and commented “bloody hell she is gorgeous!” Recently our boss has made a few comments about how “close” our relationship is…
A few weeks ago we stayed in a small hotel in Scotland. We traveled up together in the same car… It was a fantastic hotel (Katherine had booked it) so we had a meal in the restaurant, followed by a few drinks in the bar. She had more than me and was a little tipsy. She had a tight white blouse on and I couldn’t help but keep glancing at her boobs… she spotted this and asked if I wanted her to open a few more buttons so I could get a better look…. She was flirting like mad…
We said goodnight and went to our rooms. After about 5 mins, my phone rang, it was Katherine and she asked if she could have the car keys as she had left something in the boot. She came to my room to collect them. She sat on the bed and started a conversation about the programme that was on TV. She then spotted the mini bar and poured herself (and me) a brandy. She settled down on the bed to watch the programme and we continued to talk. I have to say it did feel strange us both being on the same bed… at one point she put her hand on my leg and leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek….
She fell asleep; I tried to wake her but she was out of it so I decided to let her stay there. I fell asleep on the sofa. When I woke she was gone, but she had covered me with the quilt..
Next week we are in London again, she has booked a hotel and as a “treat” a river cruise where we have a meal on a boat on the Thames… she said she has done it before and it’s quite” romantic”. She also made a joke about booking a room for me without a sofa…
So what’s my problem? Well, I am 54, I have a wife and three kids which I love. Dearly. We have a great life, we are financially secure, and I enjoy my job. There is not much I would change. I could be reading the signs wrong, but I don’t think I am. I think Katherine is up for an affair or a relationship. I know most men would kill for this opportunity but to be honest, I prefer not to start something that could change my life. Don’t get me wrong… Seeing her lying on my bed, staring at her boobs and trim body did make me think!
So, what do I do? I don’t want to break up the partnership; we work so well together and are really taking the business places. On the other hand my wife is getting suspicious, my boss is making comments, and Katherine is making every attempt to get us into the same hotel and spend time together… I had to cancel a visit we had planned a couple of weeks ago and she got MEGA s
tty with me, she was in a huff for days…
She is also put together a very convincing business plan to take our business into Europe which the boss thinks is a great idea. Katherine has already told me she is looking forward to spending the week, rather than a couple of days with me…
How do I break the circle on this one? Do I continue to play it cool? Do I tell her I am not interested? Do I find another Job?
Help!
Twelve months ago I started a young girl on in my team. When she came to interview I was struck by how absolutely stunning she was, she looks just like Katherine Jenkins, she has a body to die for, slim with boobs that are perhaps a little big for the rest of her body. She is witty, funny and VERY clever. She is 28, single, has her own flat… and is also car mad! The first time she walked with me down the office, ALL my colleagues stopped and stared… the office went silent! She really is a stunner. Men are always commenting…
We worked together for several months and I realised just how good she was, so did my boss. I gave her more responsibility and coached her; I could see real potential. On my recommendation she was promoted to the same level as me which now means we spend a lot of time together, our jobs are linked. We travel around the UK extensively and therefore spend quite a few evenings together. Working as a team (we really complement one another) we have increased profits by 400% and we have both received substantial bonuses!
Four months ago we were in London together and she (lets call her Katherine) suggested we ate out, rather than in the hotel as we normally do. She knows London quite well so we walked out of the hotel together and along the Thames to a little Italian restaurant. We had a long lazy meal with a bottle of wine, and a couple of Lemonchello to finish. We started the walk back to the hotel, and as we walked along she put her arm through mine. I have to say I felt very flattered to have this girl on my arm, and see all the admiring looks she gets. Men just stare at her. Back in the hotel, another glass of wine and off to our respective rooms.
The following weeks we were in Telford and stayed in Ironbridge, same thing, we went for a long walk along the river to a little restaurant, spent hours chatting about anything and everything, and then walked back to the hotel, this time she held my hand… When we got back to the hotel the bar was shut, she suggested we went to her room for a nightcap, she held my hand and gave it a squeeze and gave me a “look” but I said I was too tired and wanted to sleep.
She has never talked about relationships, but that night she told me that although she has had a few short term flings, (she confessed a couple with married men…) on the whole she found it difficult to find anyone she felt she could have a longer term relationship with. She said most men that approach her are dick heads, and she can’t find a way to meet the right sort of man… I have always been very open about my relationship with my wife, often commenting that I would never have an affair and that I was very happily married. Katherine keeps commenting on how luck my wife is…
Last month we had a mid year company event and my wife came. I introduced her to Katherine and they seemed to get on quite well. At the dinner my wife sat one side of me and Katherine sat the other. Driving home, my wife commented on how she felt a little threatened by Katherine as she said it was clear that we had such a friendly relationship and as she put it “she hangs on your every word” She asked why I had not told her how good looking she was… It didn’t help when we got home and our son looked at the photos of the evening and commented “bloody hell she is gorgeous!” Recently our boss has made a few comments about how “close” our relationship is…
A few weeks ago we stayed in a small hotel in Scotland. We traveled up together in the same car… It was a fantastic hotel (Katherine had booked it) so we had a meal in the restaurant, followed by a few drinks in the bar. She had more than me and was a little tipsy. She had a tight white blouse on and I couldn’t help but keep glancing at her boobs… she spotted this and asked if I wanted her to open a few more buttons so I could get a better look…. She was flirting like mad…
We said goodnight and went to our rooms. After about 5 mins, my phone rang, it was Katherine and she asked if she could have the car keys as she had left something in the boot. She came to my room to collect them. She sat on the bed and started a conversation about the programme that was on TV. She then spotted the mini bar and poured herself (and me) a brandy. She settled down on the bed to watch the programme and we continued to talk. I have to say it did feel strange us both being on the same bed… at one point she put her hand on my leg and leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek….
She fell asleep; I tried to wake her but she was out of it so I decided to let her stay there. I fell asleep on the sofa. When I woke she was gone, but she had covered me with the quilt..
Next week we are in London again, she has booked a hotel and as a “treat” a river cruise where we have a meal on a boat on the Thames… she said she has done it before and it’s quite” romantic”. She also made a joke about booking a room for me without a sofa…
So what’s my problem? Well, I am 54, I have a wife and three kids which I love. Dearly. We have a great life, we are financially secure, and I enjoy my job. There is not much I would change. I could be reading the signs wrong, but I don’t think I am. I think Katherine is up for an affair or a relationship. I know most men would kill for this opportunity but to be honest, I prefer not to start something that could change my life. Don’t get me wrong… Seeing her lying on my bed, staring at her boobs and trim body did make me think!
So, what do I do? I don’t want to break up the partnership; we work so well together and are really taking the business places. On the other hand my wife is getting suspicious, my boss is making comments, and Katherine is making every attempt to get us into the same hotel and spend time together… I had to cancel a visit we had planned a couple of weeks ago and she got MEGA s
tty with me, she was in a huff for days…She is also put together a very convincing business plan to take our business into Europe which the boss thinks is a great idea. Katherine has already told me she is looking forward to spending the week, rather than a couple of days with me…
How do I break the circle on this one? Do I continue to play it cool? Do I tell her I am not interested? Do I find another Job?
Help!
king arthur said:
Funk said:
T'would appear the OP is a troll. Never mind.
Maybe he's just busy elsewhere...Just checked this and not had chance to read much, I didn't expect 17 pages! I will read when i get chance but for now I don't want to get caught with this on the screen...
Just for the record after a brief read...
She has a new Audi TT convertible
we are not in sales but in a very niche market sector which I don't want to disclose but its to do with Pharmaceuticals
I definitely don't want to pork her... that's the point, I was looking for advice to get out of this mess with least damage...
And finally, I hear today from a mate (a real mate...)at work that its all round the company that I am having and affair with her!
off down for dinner... I will see her Friday for a strategy meeting and then I am away with "Katherine" next Monday night... I will try and read all 17 pages and report back how it goes after Monday...
(PS - some of the replies are VERY funny!!
Guys and girls… thank you for your advice… some of it taken on board, some not (!) and some of it very funny.
What has amazed me is how everyone seems to think Katherine is a scheming, calculating career minded, gold digging bh that will stop at nothing to climb the corporate ladder…. Nothing is further from the truth, although she is ambitious… She is a GENUINELY nice person. And, she is VERY VERY good at her job, I can see a senior manager there in a couple of years….
Anyway…
I knew I had to bring this to a head quickly… as everyone has said. I went to see the boss yesterday and told him there was an issue… he already knew. He said he had plans to separate us so we didn’t have to work so closely together. He told me that he was about to offer Katherine the role of expanding into Europe, and to do this he was going to promote one of our colleagues to support her. As for me its business as usual in the UK.
He sent out a meeting request late last night for Katherine and me to attend a meeting today. She text me late on to see if I knew anything what it was about… he normally sends an agenda...
So, the meting is at 2:00 today….
What has amazed me is how everyone seems to think Katherine is a scheming, calculating career minded, gold digging b
h that will stop at nothing to climb the corporate ladder…. Nothing is further from the truth, although she is ambitious… She is a GENUINELY nice person. And, she is VERY VERY good at her job, I can see a senior manager there in a couple of years….Anyway…
I knew I had to bring this to a head quickly… as everyone has said. I went to see the boss yesterday and told him there was an issue… he already knew. He said he had plans to separate us so we didn’t have to work so closely together. He told me that he was about to offer Katherine the role of expanding into Europe, and to do this he was going to promote one of our colleagues to support her. As for me its business as usual in the UK.
He sent out a meeting request late last night for Katherine and me to attend a meeting today. She text me late on to see if I knew anything what it was about… he normally sends an agenda...
So, the meting is at 2:00 today….
A further update….
The boss called us both into his office Friday afternoon and set out his plans. She was to take the business into a few key sites in Europe as a 6 month trial. He said to clear her diary for the first three day of next week and they would work together on the planning to facilitate moving forward quickly. He asked me to cover London on my own…
To say she had a hissy fit would be an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!! When she heard who she was going to be working with she called him a fecking Dick Head and she NEVER swears in a professional situation!!! I have never seen “Miss Cool” so flustered!!! She virtually stormed out… She was not in today and has told the boss she is taking a couple of days to “consider” things… what ever that means.
I had quite a heart to heart with the boss after the meeting; in fact we went for a pint after work. He said he had been worried about our relationship for a while after his PA had confided in him. She knows her quite well; they go on girly nights out. She told him that she thought that Katherine had the serious hots for me… (Yes I was flattered….) He is the Operations Director and is a wise old dog! (Even if he is a lot younger than me!) He did say she had magnificent tits!!!
She sent me a text on the night that simply said “My world had fallen apart” I was tempted to say “what do you mean by that” but I didn’t reply, she knew I was taking my wife away for the weekend in Wales…
I told my wife over the weekend in casual sort of manner… She said she was pleased as she confessed that she was getting quite jealous that I was spending so much time “with a gorgeous woman” She did say she trusted me though and if we had continued working together it was her issue, not mine. Phew…
Thing is, Katherine and me have some unfinished professional business to take car of so over the next few weeks we will be spending some time together to wrap things up…. Once she has “Considered” things!!!
I will keep you posted….
What has been interesting in this tread is the evidence of so much prejudice against Women! Although I have made it clear several times that she is very good at her job, the consensus seems to be that she is trying to sleep her way up the career path… that really is “shop floor” mentality!
Also, lots of comments that I will now be passed over… and that she is now above me??? Throughout my career I have mentored many individuals that have gone on to do better than me, that’s life and business… People find there natural level in business, or just above it. The key to it is to have the ability to spot potential talent when you see it, and then develop it.
What I have seen a lot of is that people who thing they are good, are not as good as they think they are… Often you find people that think they are not good enough, are a lot better than they think they are!
The boss called us both into his office Friday afternoon and set out his plans. She was to take the business into a few key sites in Europe as a 6 month trial. He said to clear her diary for the first three day of next week and they would work together on the planning to facilitate moving forward quickly. He asked me to cover London on my own…
To say she had a hissy fit would be an understatement!!!!!!!!!!!! When she heard who she was going to be working with she called him a fecking Dick Head and she NEVER swears in a professional situation!!! I have never seen “Miss Cool” so flustered!!! She virtually stormed out… She was not in today and has told the boss she is taking a couple of days to “consider” things… what ever that means.
I had quite a heart to heart with the boss after the meeting; in fact we went for a pint after work. He said he had been worried about our relationship for a while after his PA had confided in him. She knows her quite well; they go on girly nights out. She told him that she thought that Katherine had the serious hots for me… (Yes I was flattered….) He is the Operations Director and is a wise old dog! (Even if he is a lot younger than me!) He did say she had magnificent tits!!!
She sent me a text on the night that simply said “My world had fallen apart” I was tempted to say “what do you mean by that” but I didn’t reply, she knew I was taking my wife away for the weekend in Wales…
I told my wife over the weekend in casual sort of manner… She said she was pleased as she confessed that she was getting quite jealous that I was spending so much time “with a gorgeous woman” She did say she trusted me though and if we had continued working together it was her issue, not mine. Phew…
Thing is, Katherine and me have some unfinished professional business to take car of so over the next few weeks we will be spending some time together to wrap things up…. Once she has “Considered” things!!!
I will keep you posted….
What has been interesting in this tread is the evidence of so much prejudice against Women! Although I have made it clear several times that she is very good at her job, the consensus seems to be that she is trying to sleep her way up the career path… that really is “shop floor” mentality!
Also, lots of comments that I will now be passed over… and that she is now above me??? Throughout my career I have mentored many individuals that have gone on to do better than me, that’s life and business… People find there natural level in business, or just above it. The key to it is to have the ability to spot potential talent when you see it, and then develop it.
What I have seen a lot of is that people who thing they are good, are not as good as they think they are… Often you find people that think they are not good enough, are a lot better than they think they are!
Thought I would update this thread to close it down….
She came back to work last Thursday… as if nothing had happened. She told everyone that she had been ill for a few days… She has told the boss she is looking forward to the challenges of moving the business into Europe and apologised for the “dick Head” comments!!!.
I have been away with Katherine for the last two days to finalise some of the business we have worked on in the last few weeks.
We had a meal together in the hotel on Monday night… To say the conversation at first was a little strained would be an understatement… She had a few glasses of wine and loosened up a bit. I asked what the outburst was a week ago and she said she was devastated that we would not be working together. She said that for the first time in her life she felt happy and looked forward to work, and spending time with me…she confessed that she had “fallen” for me… she said she has never felt for anyone in her life like she felt for me… She said I was the first man she had met that believed in her and her ability.… she thanked me time and time again for all that I had done for her, and believing in her… she got upset at one point and went to the ladies.
She said it had all come as a shock when the Europe thing came about; she expected we would work together and spend more time in each others company. She said that she had come to terms with the fact that I was not up for any sort of relationship, and the more I had resisted, the more she wanted me…. She said she knew it would never happen now but still wanted to remain friends. She said she respected me and said my wife was a luck woman…
Looks like it has all calmed down now… I realize I have had a lucky escape, but I thought back to see if I would have done anything different… I don’t think I would, except perhaps keep things a little more formal.
I did go to bed wondering if she would consider a no strings shag though
Thanks for all the advice, and the laughs!!
She came back to work last Thursday… as if nothing had happened. She told everyone that she had been ill for a few days… She has told the boss she is looking forward to the challenges of moving the business into Europe and apologised for the “dick Head” comments!!!.
I have been away with Katherine for the last two days to finalise some of the business we have worked on in the last few weeks.
We had a meal together in the hotel on Monday night… To say the conversation at first was a little strained would be an understatement… She had a few glasses of wine and loosened up a bit. I asked what the outburst was a week ago and she said she was devastated that we would not be working together. She said that for the first time in her life she felt happy and looked forward to work, and spending time with me…she confessed that she had “fallen” for me… she said she has never felt for anyone in her life like she felt for me… She said I was the first man she had met that believed in her and her ability.… she thanked me time and time again for all that I had done for her, and believing in her… she got upset at one point and went to the ladies.
She said it had all come as a shock when the Europe thing came about; she expected we would work together and spend more time in each others company. She said that she had come to terms with the fact that I was not up for any sort of relationship, and the more I had resisted, the more she wanted me…. She said she knew it would never happen now but still wanted to remain friends. She said she respected me and said my wife was a luck woman…
Looks like it has all calmed down now… I realize I have had a lucky escape, but I thought back to see if I would have done anything different… I don’t think I would, except perhaps keep things a little more formal.
I did go to bed wondering if she would consider a no strings shag though
Thanks for all the advice, and the laughs!!
here I am, clearing out my desk and I found a postit note with my log in details.... I had forgotten I had posted this...
so a bit of an update
Me and Katherine got together 6 months after I first posted this. I realized in the end I was in love with her, and she with me. We moved in together into her apartment in Paris, we have been ecstatically happy ever since!
12 months ago she got a new job as a director of a multinational in Australia. I have continued to work for the old company but I have now left and have got a consultancy role in Aus so will be joining her the end of this week... We intend to settle there.
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