How do you stop a bird from snoring

[moanthebairns]

The gf recently has started to snore that bad I can't get to sleep.
I've had to result to such things as holding her nose and kicking her till she stops but this only ceases it for a few minutes.
these actions normally result in me receiving a swift hand to jaw moment.
Ive recorded her to show how bad it is she just claims it's no her. What actually works.

[moanthebairns]

snowy slopes said:

Our lass used to do this, the reason she stopped is down to the fact that i told her if she didnt, i would shove her out the bed. She laughed, so, next time she snored, put my feet on her lower back, and shoved her out onto the floor. she doesnt do it now

Tried that she now sleeps next to the wall to avoid being rattled oot the bed in the middle of the night

[moanthebairns]

Update
First of all she's a size 6 so Loosing weight isn't gonna help the fat bh.
Que 3 o'clock my lager induced sleep has been broken by what sounded like a pregnant cow in pain.
I lovenly tilted the pillow up a bit but to no avail. She was sleeping of her side so turning her would make it worse.
I hit her a few times to alert her of my frustrations but she just stole more covers wrapped them around her like some Forcefield and continued to snore.

At this point she's forced me to realise I need a piss I'm no happy as I refuse to get up during the night for a pee to the stage where it hurts to walk in the morning.

I sat up for 15 minutes before trying to hit her in the face with peanuts. I woke up shattered.

[moanthebairns]

Yes the ready salted kind

[moanthebairns]

I've wore earplugs before but when they are in all you can hear is yourself breathing, I feel like I'm doing some lunar space mission or wearing breathing apparatus when I wear them