Discussion
Du1point8 said:
kids involved?
If there is no money then you have nothing to lose...
Unless she stiffs you for all her debt, can you prove that the equity will go to cancel out everything?
Unless you say yes to kids, then not much to worry about unless you have pensions and monies that she knows about and wants.
No kids.If there is no money then you have nothing to lose...
Unless she stiffs you for all her debt, can you prove that the equity will go to cancel out everything?
Unless you say yes to kids, then not much to worry about unless you have pensions and monies that she knows about and wants.
Equity only clears half of the debt which we have said we will take half each.
No assets like ISA's
Car is a Fiesta = £2500
Sold the cars to buy the house 11 months ago.
i dont think this has even started and i feel screwed!.
Any advice?
never done anything like this
Cotty said:
This is what I can never understand about these threads, its like you have just been hit by a car but you can't wait until you can play in the road again.
This is where your wrong. If i had my way id role back the clock and i would change her actions as it wasn't me who instigated this complete f
king mess.Shes the one who started this ball rolling and i cant stop it. If maybe she had dealt with this a bit better we might not be here. If anything it has highlighted how crap the last couple of months have been
When i say its daunting, i don't mean jumping into the sack with someone else. I mean about having to start again. Having a lovely house, nice holidays and a wife, which only 3 months ago seems to be going perfectly to where i am now.
tim2100 said:
In similar position myself. although House is in neg eq. plus debts on top.
Divorce is all amicable. But its the financial split that will cause problems.
Not sure where to go first to try and sort all this out.
Are solicitors needed?
Good luck Tim.Divorce is all amicable. But its the financial split that will cause problems.
Not sure where to go first to try and sort all this out.
Are solicitors needed?
How old are you?
Im doing everything to keep it amicable at the moment..
I dont want to make her or my life any harder by causing problems...
oldcynic said:
OP - ignore all the fked over miserable bds on here who believe that women are the devil's operatives on earth.
If it's amicable then keep it that way. Cover your back. Seek advice from a solicitor where appropriate, but you don't need to upset the balance or show your hand by getting the solicitor to write your letters (saves money and time too) - ie no need to instruct a solicitor.
Ensure that division of assets / liabilities is clearly defined, and if there is a debt overall then see if you can split it up and each take sole responsibility for part of that debt (ie don't spend the next 5 years both chipping away at a joint debt and bhing at each other for not paying in enough). In the absence of children money is the only thing that will leave you stuck dealing with each other, and you can do without that.
And yes, there is life after divorce. I'm happily remarried (to another divorcee) and my first marriage is a distant memory. Fortunately I avoided killing myself (or anyone else) in the roller-coaster between the two relationships and now have two beautiful daughters and 3 step-children.
This is what i wanted to hear....ked over miserable bds on here who believe that women are the devil's operatives on earth.If it's amicable then keep it that way. Cover your back. Seek advice from a solicitor where appropriate, but you don't need to upset the balance or show your hand by getting the solicitor to write your letters (saves money and time too) - ie no need to instruct a solicitor.
Ensure that division of assets / liabilities is clearly defined, and if there is a debt overall then see if you can split it up and each take sole responsibility for part of that debt (ie don't spend the next 5 years both chipping away at a joint debt and b
hing at each other for not paying in enough). In the absence of children money is the only thing that will leave you stuck dealing with each other, and you can do without that.And yes, there is life after divorce. I'm happily remarried (to another divorcee) and my first marriage is a distant memory. Fortunately I avoided killing myself (or anyone else) in the roller-coaster between the two relationships and now have two beautiful daughters and 3 step-children.
Thanks very much!!
Update:
House went on the market Wednesday, had 4 viewings this weekend and 1 offer 5k below our asking price. I have since gone back and asked them to up the offer by 2k and we will accept. We have no onward chain and the offer has a very small chain which has already started
Still amicable in the house.
Told her last night this inst what i wanted, 2 years in to our marriage and only 10 months in our new house. She said doesn't want this either but then she quickly follows up with, i don’t know what is making me so unhappy. I am seeing how one sided the relationship is now.
If the offer does come back il accept it and it should be as quick as 6 weeks
To all those who said this is a roller-coaster, your not wrong!
House went on the market Wednesday, had 4 viewings this weekend and 1 offer 5k below our asking price. I have since gone back and asked them to up the offer by 2k and we will accept. We have no onward chain and the offer has a very small chain which has already started
Still amicable in the house.
Told her last night this inst what i wanted, 2 years in to our marriage and only 10 months in our new house. She said doesn't want this either but then she quickly follows up with, i don’t know what is making me so unhappy. I am seeing how one sided the relationship is now.
If the offer does come back il accept it and it should be as quick as 6 weeks
To all those who said this is a roller-coaster, your not wrong!
Thanks everyone.
Once the house sells there will be some debt left but that has already been spoken about and we split it.
She is depressed and having therapy (mum had some depression). I have laid it out completely to her. I’m 100% committed to her and helping her through this, her argument is that she’s cant commit to me because she cant tell me if I’m the problem to her unhappiness. We have an amazing house, were young, we have gone on holiday’s people can only dream about and we have had the cars.
Any talking results into more questions from me and i walk away not knowing any more than i did. We cook dinner together, we eat together just like a married couple but i sleep in the spare room.
I dont know if shes fallen out of love, seriously depressed. I can’t get an answer from her, i would prefer an answer, any answer
I feel left in limbo and feel like i have to act otherwise i could be here again.
BTW, i was in the same situation 3 years ago... big low from her, pushed me away for 2 weeks, we worked it out and we have since got married and bought a bigger house.
reading this back makes me think the relationship is destined to be ruined because of her.
Once the house sells there will be some debt left but that has already been spoken about and we split it.
She is depressed and having therapy (mum had some depression). I have laid it out completely to her. I’m 100% committed to her and helping her through this, her argument is that she’s cant commit to me because she cant tell me if I’m the problem to her unhappiness. We have an amazing house, were young, we have gone on holiday’s people can only dream about and we have had the cars.
Any talking results into more questions from me and i walk away not knowing any more than i did. We cook dinner together, we eat together just like a married couple but i sleep in the spare room.
I dont know if shes fallen out of love, seriously depressed. I can’t get an answer from her, i would prefer an answer, any answer
I feel left in limbo and feel like i have to act otherwise i could be here again.
BTW, i was in the same situation 3 years ago... big low from her, pushed me away for 2 weeks, we worked it out and we have since got married and bought a bigger house.
reading this back makes me think the relationship is destined to be ruined because of her.
172ff said:
Good.
Did you ever find out what made her so unhappy? Was she seeing someone else?
No never found out. Saw her the other day as she needed to give me some paper work (she wanted to meet rather than post it), she tells me shes living with her dad but i know shes living in London somewhere. The great thing is i dont care. I dont wish anything bad of her but i am getting on with my life and so is she now.Did you ever find out what made her so unhappy? Was she seeing someone else?
I hope shes happy, but i think she has some deep dark issues and wont be happy for a long time!
N
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