What Are Your Gym/Fitness/Routine Moans?

[essexplumber]

Right I'll start.

If you have finished using the machine...... GET OFF OF IT!!!!

I know it sounds silly but when I go to the gym I have a set routine and usually a set amount of time to do it in, so it pisses me right off when someone decides to have a nice rest, perhaps send a text or watch whatever sport or music video is on the TVs.

I understand that once we have finished our shoulder press's or leg extentions standing straight up could cause us to faint but do you really need to sit there on the only machine of its type in the gym for 5 minutes? I could ask you politely if you've finished but I'm a bit of a miserable sod and I really don't like talking to strangers unless I really have to so can you learn some basic manners and consider that maybe, just maybe, someone else may like to use that machine too.

Anyway rant over, I have many other gripes that are gym related but I'll refrain from boring you with tham for now. Thank you and goodnight

[essexplumber]

Right I've held off long enough

At my gym there are 12 shower cubicles in the gents changing rooms, I go in when they're all empty...........someone comes into the cubicle beside me Why? You have 11 cubicles to choose from and you choose the on next to one thats in use!!!!!

Group of young lads, one sits on a machine and picks a weight thats far too high to properly finish, his mates all stand around looking sheepish and as though they can't be any further than two feet from him while he puts his back out.

Right sausage birds that think all the blokes in the gym are ogling them, you know the sort, turn up in a Fiat 500, brand new Nike gear iPod strapped to their arm giving everyone dirty looks but drooling over the personal trainer.

[essexplumber]

LordGrover said:

At least they're running... at mine they'd be chatting, adjusting clothing, drinking energy drinks, picking their tunes, mixing protein shakes, unravelling their ipod headphone cables - pretty much anything bar exercise.

Bloody hell, we all go to the same gym!

[essexplumber]

My randy former driving instructor (female) having a sixth sense about me being in the gym

The stabilty balls being under inflated (I pay £50 a month to this gym, how much does air cost you?).

[essexplumber]

mcelliott said:

Fatties.

Oi, I was a fatty when I first joined the gym. I know what you mean though

[essexplumber]

Arsebeard


See, the ones that make me laugh are the blokes who are extremely nervous about showing their bare bum in the changing rooms (not that I'm looking) do that slide thing with their boxers and towell so at no point is anything exposed.

I suppose its my football days that make me so immune to being nude. I have to admit to being slightly nervous when one strapping bloke struck up a conversation with me (sat on the bench) while he stood drying his crotchal region (at my eye level) once

[essexplumber]

Big E 118 said:

Halb said:

essexplumber said:

I suppose its my football days that make me so immune to being nude. I have to admit to being slightly nervous when one strapping bloke struck up a conversation with me (sat on the bench) while he stood drying his crotchal region (at my eye level) once

Is that gif what you did with your mouth...

[essexplumber]

Heres one, just get into my stride on the treadmill.................need a wee

[essexplumber]

Halb said:

I use a towel. I think it's pretty disgusting how people don't in a gym.
Luckily most of what I do does not require contact with sweaty benches, save of the bench press when I can be bothered doing it.

I have the worlds sweatiest arse (not so much elsewhere ) so I always wipe down machines I've used.

[essexplumber]

Today is day 3 without a gym visit. I am depressed, I'm convinced all of the muscle I have built has gone and that I have put on 10 stone I wouldn't mind but I didn't have any roasts, yorkshires or gravy on my xmas dinner and I still haven't touched any pudding/cakes/sweets etc.

Is this what being a fitness freak is all about? Can't wait to get back in the gym tomorrow morning.

[essexplumber]

I got 45 mins in yesterday as the gym shut at 14:00 so I did a 10 min jog and then spent some time on my chest with the dumbells. Theres a guy who goes there, about 28, really good shape and he has got bigger since I last saw him but fk me does he make a racket! He was doing deadlifts next to me and between sets he was insulting himself, "Come on you pussy" "What you can't lift that? You prick". I'm not making this up, it was quite funny actually.

But it must work as he is in really good shape but thats not for me


I'm hoping to up my game in January and really bulk up and lose the last inch or so of flab on my tummy but I have a feeling my gym is going to be absolutley jam packed (for a couple of weeks at least )



Happy New Year guys

[essexplumber]

The nutty bird (mid 40s) who goes to my gym, she talks to everyone (really loudly) and sings (really loudly).


I had to use a X trainer next to her yesterday for 25 mins, she was there with her iPod on, every now and then we'd get "Ba ba ba baaaa, do do bab" then "This is the return of the space cowboy, do do da da" then "Cos you're free, to do what you want to do" then "I'm alive the man with a second face"


I was trying to work out what compilation album it might have been, I'm thinking NTWICM 42?

[essexplumber]

Smart Mart said:

I guess the attitude to have is like when you are stuck behind a learner on the road. You were one once so should have a little patience with others when they start up.

Thats how I see it as I've only been going since march. My gym was manic at 17:15 last night though, lots of new faces wandering about looking lost. I'm gonna go at 15:00 today to avoid the crush.

[essexplumber]

honest_delboy said:

Looking lost... There was one bloke down there tonight staring at the dumbell rack for eternity, i thought he was trying to lift them with his Jedi mind tricks.

We have the usual iphone users too, "I'm at the gym mate!" "yeah, saturday night, should be mint" "that bloke owed me 10 large so he gave me his <insert flash car> instead" "she was a model, went back to her place" and all sorts of other bragging bravado bullst. I have nothing against iphone users per se but they all seem to be texting/browsing/shuffling tracks when they should be working out.

We have the usual eyeballers too - how dare you lift a weight bigger than what i lifted! They seem to take it as some sort of personal front when you move the pin or grab a bigger plate.

We must use the same gym.

[essexplumber]

arfur sleep said:

Older bloke (ie should know better, have more respect for others) I see at my gym regularly does this but also leaves his locker door open and his now empty kit bag on the floor in the way.

Last time he did it whilst I was getting changed I pushed the stuff off the bench onto the floor / bag to clear the bench for others and then went for a shower.

Came back and he was stood getting changed throwing accusing looks around but didn't say anything to anyone.

I get that at the gym I use too, its only a year or so old so the changing rooms are quite spacious but the locker to bench space ratio is woefull which means you can be sat drying your feet with a hairy arse inches from your face

[essexplumber]

Raddors said:

We all started somewhere. (12.5kg I think for me!), and after a shoulder Op last year I was using 5kgs for a few months.

I started at 12.5 kg on the shoulder press machine (easier than free weights I know) last March and now I'm on 37.5 kg. Shoulder press with dumbells I struggle with 3x15 @ 14 kg.


A moan from this afternoons session. Young lad sat doing sit ups and planks with a young bird, you know the type, working out in Lyle&Scott T shirts and Hollister bottoms. Both sat there taking the piss out of this big girl who was obviously just starting out at the gym. Couldn't make out what was being said but they were clearly laughing at her, pair of assholes.

[essexplumber]

Halb said:

That is so ace.

'Yeah, I'm using all of these...don't even look at me...'

[essexplumber]

emicen said:

Something I definitely miss from my old gym. You cant really do the iPod movie routine on a crosstrainer or tread mill, my old gym had an individually controlled TV on each machine, an hour on a crosstrainer spurred on by watching Rugby or American Football was really good.

Technogym stuff? Mine has that too.

[essexplumber]

emicen said:

Think it was Technogym yeah. Theres something about watching sprints for the line and crunching tackles go in that makes you pound on that bit harder.

I also like watching the music vids on them, there are a couple that make me go a little harder for some bizzare reason, such as.

SHM, Greyhound. Skrillex, Bangarang. Will i Am, Go Hard.

[essexplumber]

Just got home from the gym. I was laying on a bench (flat) doing some dumbell chest flys, young "bro" gets on the bench beside me and starts to do the same (only wrong), our shoulders were level and he was trying to time the low point of his fly with the high point of mine

I finished my first set and pulled my bench over a bit. fking retard