Sleep Apnea

[MadOne]

Hi, I just thought I would throw this out here and see if anyone can help. I have a very close friend who suffers from this and it is making his life a misery. He is very overweight (by about 10 stone over) and his doctor and the hospital have told him that he needs to lose weight for the sleep apnea to get better. He refuses to lose the weight and keeps saying 'Diets don't work' (he's never been on one in his life). However, day in day out all he ever says is 'I have no energy to lose weight, exercise etc as I am getting so little sleep and therefore I have no concentration'. So I suggested he find a forum and speak to other people who suffer from it and how they cope with it etc etc. He says talking to people online is silly!! So I thought I would give it a go and see if any PHers suffer from or know someone who does and who manages to live a full life with it. My mate hasn't worked in three years and just lies about all day. He is on pills for depression.

Cheers in advance.

[MadOne]

SlackBladder said:

I pressume he's been officially diagnosed and is using a CPAP machine then?

Yes he has. He spent the night in a hospital so they could monitor him and the next day they told him he needs to lose weight. I said I told you so but he is determined that diets don't work.

[MadOne]

NotStig said:

I'm guessing his diet's crap and he does no exercise, which is why he's got no energy.

He needs to eat some veg and less beer and pizza, cut down on sugar and think about his diet. If he can eat well, he'll lose weight and have more energy, which will help him want to move around more and lose more weight.

If he really wants to get better, he needs to get his head out of his backside and stop being a moron or sleep apnoea will be the least of his worries.

You have just summed him up 100%. I told him he suffered from heart and bone disease. Heart lazy and bone idol. Needless to say that didn't go down too well..... I am a good mate normally but he is a pain in the proverbial.

[MadOne]

Thanks for all the responses folks. I sound heartless when I talk about him but I do know that his condition is serious but the fact that he won't try anything just annoys me. I have listened to this for three years now. He also has a dog (three years old) who gets a ten minute walk round a car park twice a day, has never been off the lead, has never ran or chased a ball unless I take the dog out which is once a fortnight when I get a chance. I keep saying to him to take the dog a wee bit further each day so he (mate) will get a bit more exercise a bit at a time but the answer is always no. I will tell him about the mouth brace, that does sound like a good thing but I have a feeling I know what the answer will be.

[MadOne]

PomBstard said:

I'm afraid your mate sounds a bit like one of my uncles - and sleep apnea is the least of his problems. It took a heart attack for him to realise the consequences of not losing weight. And stopping smoking. And doing more exercise. He was 52 I think when it took hold, and within 12 months he was a changed person, but he had spent the previous 15 years being medically obese and was lined up for stomach stapling. Nothing anyone could say or do could get him to change his ways - lived on his own, had a few friends, but spent most of the time indoors feeling sorry for himself. He lived to be 68 I think, not a great age, but probably about 15 years more than anyone was previously willing to gamble on.

Seriously, if he can't be arsed, then he can't be arsed. And no amount of cajoling or moaning at him is going to make the slightest difference. When it gets close to fatal, then he might change, but lets just hope its only a scary event, not the real thing.

Hi yeah I agree, I think the Sleep Apnea is the least of his problems as he uses this as a reason for not doing anything. He will be 45 this year, so still a young man. But he says he can't go to work in case he falls asleep. This has only ever happened once in his life before he gave up work for good. He does smoke and drink a lot as well. I can't see him reaching 50 but who knows. I think if he was willing to try things then that would be half the battle but the answer is always no to every single thing suggested.

[MadOne]

Thanks again folks. I will try and suggest the mouth brace to him. It should be interesting to hear his response. I will keep you posted.

[MadOne]

Well, I have just phoned him and told him about the mouth brace. He said he had tried that already a couple of years ago and it didn't work as it depends on your 'bite' and his was too big. I haven't a clue what he is talking about. He said when he put the guard in it made his chin stick out too far and caused his throat to close up even further. I suggested he go back to his specialist and he said no. So I said again would he consider trying to lose weight and was met with a resounding NO! I asked why and he said he doesn't have the energy to count calories. I told him it was time to for me to take a step back. He wasn't amused but I said I was taking a step back from his problems, not from him as I think I am more stressed than him!

[MadOne]

SpeckledJim said:

MadOne said:

Well, I have just phoned him and told him about the mouth brace. He said he had tried that already a couple of years ago and it didn't work as it depends on your 'bite' and his was too big. I haven't a clue what he is talking about. He said when he put the guard in it made his chin stick out too far and caused his throat to close up even further. I suggested he go back to his specialist and he said no. So I said again would he consider trying to lose weight and was met with a resounding NO! I asked why and he said he doesn't have the energy to count calories. I told him it was time to for me to take a step back. He wasn't amused but I said I was taking a step back from his problems, not from him as I think I am more stressed than him!

Is he actually depressed, in which case his attitude problem is all understandable, or is he just a mardarse?

Hi yeah he says he is depressed but he says it is because of the lack of sleep but he is a total 'mardarse' as well. I think at the end of the day it's not up to me to tell a person how to live. I have tried but I get nowhere so I have to just still be a mate but not get involved in his problems. Every time I see him all we do is argue. It's not good for either of us.