Really depressed

[Robster]

Hi not sure what to do and don't know why I'm posting this , split up with my wife a year ago , have 2 children ,was diagonised with depression , which has got worse and worse now want to end it all, but can't because of the kids what do I do?

[Robster]

Get out more what do you mean ?

[Robster]

Didn't get a pm but that's really kind of you wanting to chat

[Robster]

Hi for those who have pm me thank you but nothing's showing up

[Robster]

Hi thanks for asking, haven't got out of bed yet , a grown man and I feel useless

[Robster]

Never thought I would be posting on an Internet forum , thanks to beryone whoses listened , 3 days ago I just didn't turn up at work, couldn't handle it anymore, will lose my job as I haven't been in contact but for some reason I'm ok with that

[Robster]

I haven't explained very well, since. Being diagnosed I've been put on pills in fact they doubled the dose a few months back, work know I suffer, but recently I just can't cope even with the simple tasks and I know I'm in danger of being performance managed , I feel so low , just feel like there's. Nothing to fight for,

[Robster]

They might be able to dismiss me for not following procedure e.g. Not informing them about my abscene , I've ignored phone calls, I'm in such a dark place I just don't care, scared about not ha king a job but should have 6 weeks plus to find something else, just can't handle the pressure there anymore , don't know if that makes any sense , i can barlely text this , I'm going to go to gp tomorrow

[Robster]

Seeing the doctor today, also going to hand in my notice, job has been incredibly stressful and no longer for me, feel it's the right decision from me and my employer, 2 big things to do today then

[Robster]

That's the thing it doesn't do either of those things, I need to do this , it's effecting my health

[Robster]

Thank you , been referred to counselling never gone through with it, a sound like a right loser , going to be very clear with the doctor how bad things have got , I haven't slept at to for 2 days, regarding work last year I stepped down for a senior position due to what I was going through , which was the right move, this feels like a. Natural progression as far as at this point of my life I don't need all the stress and responsibilitys , I've got some time to find something else, the though lot of even stepping back into my place of work terrifies me

[Robster]

Hi saw the doctor today , on a different set of tablets , well on both need to swop carefully , also got sleeping tablets and been signed off , emailed sick note today , work keeping phoning and leaving voice mails. But I just can't face talking to them

[Robster]

I am absolutely overwhelmed with the kindness on here and offers to meet up , I'm freaking out about the unpredictably of my feelings , spent all day in bed but wasn't too bad now feeling like it's all going wrong and worries I have sleeping tablets in the house , -also don't want to keep bothering people on here

[Robster]

Easy for me to think the worse , tonight I'm just going down and down, maybe everyone is better off without me

[Robster]

Wish someone could phone my ex and make her understand

[Robster]

Wish my ex knew , she's so strong she doesn't understand , anyway not been able to get out of bed for 4 days or phone work my life is going to st, sorry as I said a bad day today

[Robster]

I'm trying but get your act together not helping ,

[Robster]

Doesn't feel like it will get better , it's almost like every 5 mins I'm feeling worse , what if this is me and I'm destined to kill myslelf

[Robster]

2 sleeping piill and 8 beers ok though ?

[Robster]

throt said:

The beers add to the problem, so I am told. So, no. I think you have had a few tonight, Rob, have you not?

8 beers and looking at tablets