Urgent Help with Dementia Parent - Oldham

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My father was taken in to a residential home that specialises in dementia in October last year. I naively believed they would be able to support him as his vascular dementia progressed.

Unfortunately, he has turned violent and the home have given us 28 days notice of his eviction. He is currently locked in an area of the home and under 24 hour watch which is costing £500/day on top of the usual charges.

We have the social worker saying her hands are tied until the Mental health/ dementia unit declare him at risk. The mental health unit have said it is nothing to do with them and everything has to go through the social worker. The mental health/dementia service also said it is the Home's issue as they accepted him knowing how things would progress. The home called an ambulance hoping they would take him away so they could wash their hands of him. The ambulance turned up and said they are not a dementia eviction service and left..

I am 3000 miles away and do not know where to turn. My brother is carrying most of the weight here but he isn't making progress as everyone is pointing at everyone else. Is there someone in Oldham I can call that will be able to help?

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dundarach said:

OP sorry to hear this news, I'm afraid I can't comment directly as my experiences were slightly different.

However when my mum deteriorated, I quickly learned NOT to take responsibility for her, as the medical and social system appeared to me to immediately hand over all care as quickly as possible to a relative and then want nothing more to do with them.

This is fine IF you're equipped to deal with it, I wasn't, sounds like you aren't either.

I would (however ste this sounds) have as little to do with the situation as possible, you're a long way away and I'm guessing don't know the ins and outs of the local systems.

Let the professionals deal with it.

However, it'll cost and you'll loose control.

This might not be what other people suggest and they may know more, I however found this a useful changing point with my mum, as soon as I stopped doing it, the systems and her care improved massively as the Council and local NHS realised they were going to have to put something sustainable and what worked, in place.

Best of look, I wouldn't accept and responsibility for doing anything!

I want to let the system take care of the situation but it does not seem to be kicking into gear. We have been told this is because he has somewhere to live who claim to be dementia specialists. We selected the home because of them having a separate area for residents with dementia. We have also been told it is the home's responsibility to find an appropriate facility. Instead, they have served an eviction notice and a bill for £14k for the next 28 days of care.

I am going to try the contacts provided above and see if we can get something to start moving.

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gotoPzero said:

I dont know if any of this is of any use

Age UK dementia support Oldham
Contact
0161 622 9333
[e-mail]
Age Uk, 2 Lord Street, Oldham OL1 3EY



Oldham Mental Health Services
Borough Management Offices
Parklands House, The Royal Oldham Hospital, Rochdale Road
Oldham
Greater Manchester
OL1 2JH

Telephone
[phone]


Admiral nurses
Admiral Nurses provide the specialist dementia support that families need.

When things get challenging or difficult, our Nurses work alongside people with dementia, their families and carers: giving the one-to-one support, expert guidance and practical solutions people need, and that can be hard to find elsewhere.

Contact us
11th Floor, Hexagon Tower, Crumpsall Vale, Manchester, Manchester, M9 8GQ
Telephone: [phone]

This is very useful in that it clears up confusion in my own mind and provides contact details. My brother has been doing everything until now and I felt it was an unfair burden. He is also to nice (not a fault) and so has been taking updates from people who should be providing progress. Tomorrow I will use these contacts to better understand how the process works and start things moving.

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How did you trigger the sectioning? The normal health system (ambulance and hospital) have refused to accept him (Understandably).

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Thank you for the advice and sanity check.

We have an assessment scheduled for tomorrow.


I want to state I’m not criticizing the system or anyone involved. I’m very aware if I was local it would be running smoother. Or, at least I would understand better. It is just frustrating when, I think I have set in place a plan that will grow as he deteriorates, and it fails. I thought a dementia specialist facility would care for him to the end. Instead, it turns out there are different flavors of specialist.

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Armitage.Shanks said:

h0b0 said:

How did you trigger the sectioning? The normal health system (ambulance and hospital) have refused to accept him (Understandably).

Ambulance turned up and they formed the opinion sectioning was needed. This then kicked in an approved social worker and doctor. The upshot was as he entered the 'system' under the Mental Health Act all subsequent treatment and suitable accommodation (secure or otherwise) would be fully funded by the state with a reasoned choice by us where he should go. As it was his financial circumstances would not have been able to fund any care as financial planning many years ago meant he didn't own anything.

The problem with this case here is the subject is already in a care home and I can imagine the Social Services will be tyring to defer to the care home/family to sort. If Social Services are funding his care in part or otherwise then they are responsible to sort it. The question to ask is whether someone with dementia can pose a risk to themselves or another to the point the MHA applies and they can be sectioned? One for the medical professionial operating in this space.

The problem is Social Services will be understaffed and overloaded so if you want anything to happen quickly you have to do the legwork and become insistent. I wouldn't want their job and take my hat off to those that are committed.

Edited by Armitage.Shanks on Tuesday 19th March 23:15

You have captured the situation very well.

His normal doctor will not touch him because he has been prescribed drugs by a dementia doctor. These drugs knock him out and when he regains consciousness he goes from room to room trying to physically throw people out of his house. He slapped one resident a couple of weeks ago.

Mental health have said the home knew what they were taking on when they took him in 6 months ago. As a result, he is a low priority. They also say if anyone should be stepping in to help it would be the social worker. The social worker has said she can’t do anything without authorization from mental health that they will pick up the bill.

Frankly, my brother and I don’t care who pays. He is currently 100% self funded and any money he has is set aside for his care. I don’t mind him paying his way and we have always worked on trying to hit £0 the day he is buried. If there is funding under the MHA then his last days are going to be a wild ride of coke and hookers.