Difficulty getting pregnant....
Discussion
Wife and I have been trying for about seven months now with no joy.
I know at our age 27/28 a GP will just tell us to keep trying rather than test us for problems.
Looking at buying Pregnacare and Wellman conception tablets to see if they help.
Any other tips?
Every month that goes by, it gets harder and harder (no pun intended) to deal with no postive result.
I know at our age 27/28 a GP will just tell us to keep trying rather than test us for problems.
Looking at buying Pregnacare and Wellman conception tablets to see if they help.
Any other tips?
Every month that goes by, it gets harder and harder (no pun intended) to deal with no postive result.
MKnight702 said:
Very brave posting here, but anyway.
If your wife's cycle is pretty regular, try hitting days 13-15 after the start of her period, that should be when she is most fertile IIRC. (Worked for us).
If your wife's cycle is pretty regular, try hitting days 13-15 after the start of her period, that should be when she is most fertile IIRC. (Worked for us).
I find the Health forum seems to be a little more sensitive....The Lounge on the other hand....
Yeah, we have the calendar out each month and using the ovulation sticks and stuff. Just not getting it right!
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Not yet. Part of me is scared to, mainly because if I turn out fine my wife will jump to the conclusion that something terminal is wrong with her....
We don't drink much, neither of us smoke. We eat ok and we are not fat.
Realised it could be worse though, as a friend of ours (who it transpired had been trying for a year - we of course assumed it took them one day) who told us last week she was pregnant, had a scan which revealed no heartbeat
We have agreed to keep plugging away (!) until we get to the year point, then we are going to get checked out if no joy.
Thank you all for the useful responses to what is a pretty candid (but the most natural) subject!
drivin_me_nuts said:
There is another part of this and that conceiving (or problems therein) can be directly impacted by stress and anxiety, perhaps in your case the stress and anxiety of wanting to get pregnant in the first place. Just as a thought, perhaps ease up on the approach, let the mind take a rest from the anxiety side and see how things happen. There is plenty of hearsay and anecdotal accounts of people who say the baby came along when they had actually stopped trying. You can't force mother nature along the path she does not want to go at the moment, but you can ease up on the stress side and give your mind and body a break from the stress.
Agreed. You know anxiety is creeping in when it becomes a chore to do the business.Hobo - sorry to hear of your plight, it is very saddening. I wish you and your missus all the best and luck in your continued attempts.
I am getting edgy again as it's that time of the month again. My missus has been late-ish for the last 3 months but her body seems to just tease us every time. Fully expecting to be disappointed again this month but just can't help but hold on to that small hope....
I am getting edgy again as it's that time of the month again. My missus has been late-ish for the last 3 months but her body seems to just tease us every time. Fully expecting to be disappointed again this month but just can't help but hold on to that small hope....
Engineer1 said:
The Mrs is off to the doctors on Wednesday so hopefully they will have some answers. I am just getting a shade fed up with how every month I seem to get a double length grumpyness first when she gets the minor bleed then again if her period comes.
It's tough. I think us guys are hard-wired to deal with stuff like this better.
I have already had about ten text messages from my wife this morning telling me she is having a nervous breakdown over the waiting etc. She knows deep down that her period is on its way but wants to believe it might be this month....
...it has become the main priority in our household and when it keeps not happening we get the monthly melt-down.
drivin_me_nuts said:
Legend83 said:
Engineer1 said:
The Mrs is off to the doctors on Wednesday so hopefully they will have some answers. I am just getting a shade fed up with how every month I seem to get a double length grumpyness first when she gets the minor bleed then again if her period comes.
It's tough. I think us guys are hard-wired to deal with stuff like this better.
I have already had about ten text messages from my wife this morning telling me she is having a nervous breakdown over the waiting etc. She knows deep down that her period is on its way but wants to believe it might be this month....
...it has become the main priority in our household and when it keeps not happening we get the monthly melt-down.
It just seems so unfair that the most natural process is seemingly so difficult sometimes. Also the fact that you have absolutely no idea what is going on inside your missus makes it harder.
As with everything, once you decide you want it, it only gets harder when you can't get it....
leeb said:
if you mention "taking a break" this will probably be taken that you are not as serious about it, and it doesnt bother you, you dont care, etc etc etc. Emotions are veeery high, choose your words carefully mate 
May be worth suggesting that you both go to the Drs, or go and have a chat with your local (depending on where you are) fertility centre. So that you are proactively looking for a solution, rather than kjust saying, lets stop trying. Until you have an actual way forward, just a little something to look forward to, this will always be on both your minds anytime you sleep together. Even if neither of you admit it, it just wont go away.
Try and speak with someone, together, its nothing to be ashamed of, and you really are not alone.
Doctors appointment booked for Monday.May be worth suggesting that you both go to the Drs, or go and have a chat with your local (depending on where you are) fertility centre. So that you are proactively looking for a solution, rather than kjust saying, lets stop trying. Until you have an actual way forward, just a little something to look forward to, this will always be on both your minds anytime you sleep together. Even if neither of you admit it, it just wont go away.
Try and speak with someone, together, its nothing to be ashamed of, and you really are not alone.
dave_s13 said:
Legend83 said:
......We are about to go through our 4th cycle of IVF......
We only have one more try on the Funded NHS.........
Jesus!....you only get 1 funded crack at it in Leeds.We only have one more try on the Funded NHS.........
We had to pay for the 2nd....worked thank god. For reference, including all the drugs it's about 4.5k a go.
Just in the process of having popsicles put back in (£1500). Mrs has just started the drugs.
Expensive business this, hence why I bought myself a motorbike last week while we still actually have some money in the bank
We always said we would give it 3 tries then adopt. I can see how people end up getting divorced/go bankrupt going through this nonsense. We know a couple that have spent circa 20k to date and still no baby...gutted.
Dave - I think you misquoted me above...we have not had IVF...
Oh, what a nightmare. I just don't know what to think.
The missus is about 4-5 days late now, feeling sick in the day, sore bits up top....BUT also cramps which would suggest just normal onset of period.
I am trying to put the sicky feeling down to lack of sleep, but I can't help but have this nagging optimism in my head - it is boiling over!
She also had cramps about a week after the ovulation period...don't know if that is a sign of anything but it has happened in previous months when we had no result.
Of course, this could all be settled by a quick pregnancy test but the missus has developed an irrational fear of using them....
I know others are going through much worse in their life, but this is fast becoming one of the more difficult periods of mine / ours.
The missus is about 4-5 days late now, feeling sick in the day, sore bits up top....BUT also cramps which would suggest just normal onset of period.
I am trying to put the sicky feeling down to lack of sleep, but I can't help but have this nagging optimism in my head - it is boiling over!
She also had cramps about a week after the ovulation period...don't know if that is a sign of anything but it has happened in previous months when we had no result.
Of course, this could all be settled by a quick pregnancy test but the missus has developed an irrational fear of using them....
I know others are going through much worse in their life, but this is fast becoming one of the more difficult periods of mine / ours.
Well, her last few periods have been a couple of days late but this is the first time she has had any nausea. Again, this could be caused by anything I guess.
We started using ovulation sticks this month but I think we used them too late BUT might have timed it when we would expected her to ovulate.
Keeping fingers crossed that I don't get the usual text message of 'No baby this month'....
I think if there is no movement by Sunday I will get her to take a test.
We started using ovulation sticks this month but I think we used them too late BUT might have timed it when we would expected her to ovulate.
Keeping fingers crossed that I don't get the usual text message of 'No baby this month'....
I think if there is no movement by Sunday I will get her to take a test.
Thanks to all the fantastic support as ever.
It seems odd to air dirty laundry to complete strangers on the internet, but I continue to find the people on this site are so willing to listen, advise, sympathise, cut the s
t if necessary (love you Tonker ) but overall I get a great sense of community.
So, thank you all again.
Will keep you posted.
It seems odd to air dirty laundry to complete strangers on the internet, but I continue to find the people on this site are so willing to listen, advise, sympathise, cut the s
t if necessary (love you Tonker ) but overall I get a great sense of community.So, thank you all again.
Will keep you posted.
Still no test taken. We are less stressed today so going to continue waiting to see if a period arrives...now 7 days late of a 'normal' 28 day cycle - though she has never been 'regular'.
Cramps for 4 days now, and lots of weeing today. Hard not to get my hopes up, but we just don't want them shattered by a negative test (those bd things!). Going to hold on to our hope and let nature tell us the news.
Cramps for 4 days now, and lots of weeing today. Hard not to get my hopes up, but we just don't want them shattered by a negative test (those b
d things!). Going to hold on to our hope and let nature tell us the news.Coco H said:
Ok, thats crap, really awful. I am sorry.
Several things could be happening here. The test may not be sensitive enough at this stage of pregnancy - the ones I find best for early on would be the clear blue digital one and the first response ones. Alternatively your wife could be like a friend of mine who never gets a postive test unitl she is past 6 weeks - why I don't know.
Then there is the issue of if she has irregular cycles - how did you know when the period was due? I had real trouble with this having pcos, you can get 28 days, 25, 35, 22 etc and so on - though mine tend to be over 5 weeks. If you have used ovulation tests they are not always accurate or it is known that your body can gear up to ovulate and you havea surge of the hormone that is produced pre0ovulation but then you don't go onto to ovulate at that point, you may then have a second surge and ovulate a few days later.
I went through two years of not knowing what was going on before it was sorted out. My GP would have made me wait longer so I privately paid to see a consultant. Money well spent i my case.
Coco - we used a boggo Sainsburys test. Her cycles have been slightly irregular since coming off the pill but usually around the 30 day mark. Several things could be happening here. The test may not be sensitive enough at this stage of pregnancy - the ones I find best for early on would be the clear blue digital one and the first response ones. Alternatively your wife could be like a friend of mine who never gets a postive test unitl she is past 6 weeks - why I don't know.
Then there is the issue of if she has irregular cycles - how did you know when the period was due? I had real trouble with this having pcos, you can get 28 days, 25, 35, 22 etc and so on - though mine tend to be over 5 weeks. If you have used ovulation tests they are not always accurate or it is known that your body can gear up to ovulate and you havea surge of the hormone that is produced pre0ovulation but then you don't go onto to ovulate at that point, you may then have a second surge and ovulate a few days later.
I went through two years of not knowing what was going on before it was sorted out. My GP would have made me wait longer so I privately paid to see a consultant. Money well spent i my case.
Last month her period started on 17th July so if you take 28 days from the 17th we calculated she was, on a 'normal' cycle, due on the 14th August - it is now the 22nd!
BUT, July period took 33 days so you could therefore argue she is only 3 days late of her maximum length period to date...
...so many variable, so much frustration.
Doctors tomorrow to ask for some tests, if not we may go private. As Tonker said earlier in the thread, better to get assurance on the mechanical bits, then we can worry about the stress / ovulation / timing etc.
So it finally reared it's ugly head today, 7 days late.
Good news is the doc is willing to get us both checked out - feels like we are taking a step forward rather than treading water.
Much for positive for us both today, bring on the next battle, so to speak...
Night all and thanks for all your kindness again.
Good news is the doc is willing to get us both checked out - feels like we are taking a step forward rather than treading water.
Much for positive for us both today, bring on the next battle, so to speak...
Night all and thanks for all your kindness again.
At last the ovulation test has picked up a signal which gives us a some relief in that hopefully the missus is producing eggs ok. Just getting a positive anything gives me a warm feeling inside.
This will be the first month we have "properly" used ovulation tests and I am going to use Hobo's tactic.....
....so you may not hear from me until Sunday as I plan to be a busy boy....
This will be the first month we have "properly" used ovulation tests and I am going to use Hobo's tactic.....
....so you may not hear from me until Sunday as I plan to be a busy boy....
1598 said:
Legend83 said:
So it finally reared it's ugly head today, 7 days late.
Good news is the doc is willing to get us both checked out - feels like we are taking a step forward rather than treading water.
Much for positive for us both today, bring on the next battle, so to speak...
Night all and thanks for all your kindness again.
Is your wife slightly overweight and if so does she carry it around her middle and have slimmer arms & legs?Good news is the doc is willing to get us both checked out - feels like we are taking a step forward rather than treading water.
Much for positive for us both today, bring on the next battle, so to speak...
Night all and thanks for all your kindness again.
I ask this because if she is not regular and has weight issues she might have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
If she does then pregnancy is hard but not impossible to achieve. miscarriage is frequent too but taking metformin three times a day and up to the 12 week mark can help you get pregnant and minimise miscarriage.
Results of her blood tests in on Monday so will find out if there is any issue then.
ETA - if an ovulation test is positive is that categorical evidence that she is releasing eggs? Or does it just show a spurt in a specific hormone?
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