Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.

[Ruskie]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

This is my blog about my time spent as a professional footballer. I would appreciate feedback and opinions. If chose to write the blog to raise awareness of depression amongst professional footballers. I'm not for one second saying it isn't a a great and career but it caused me problems.

Twitter is @footballruined and retweets are appreciated.

Thanks a lot.

[Ruskie]

First, thanks for taking the time to read it.

I was hoping anonymity would help it be a better read and help me to be honest about situations I have been in. Not many people are aware of my depression and certainly not my ex team mates or current work colleagues.

Also I didn't want it to come across as a 'woe is me' sort of thing. It's been done as a sort of therapy to get it all off my chest. I'm not looking for personal attention hence the anonymity, just hoping to raise awareness that behind the scenes it's not always rosy despite the money and opportunities the career gives you. It's just my experience in my own words.

I played late 90's to mid 2000's if that helps.

[Ruskie]

London424 said:

I haven't read it yet but Stan Collymore might be a good person to contact to raise awareness of the blog etc.

Whatever you think of him he has the track record of depression in the sport and recently won an award (I think with one of his talk sport colleagues) about a show they did on depression.

It's difficult to get people to RT with that kind of profile. The word press site is fantastic for seeing the stats on views. When a well known ex footballer retweeted it I could see the views shoot up. I don't want to come across as begging but obviously I want it to be read as well so I'm going softly with it.

[Ruskie]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

My latest blog explores the impact my illness has on those around me.

Thanks for reading it means a lot.

[Ruskie]

Snubs said:

That's a well written blog Ruskie. I'm sorry to hear that you're still suffering from depression, I know from first hand experience how debilitating it can be. What you wrote in the 'Today is one of those days' post is spot on. The thought of going back to that state of mind scares the bejeezus out of me.

Apologies if I missed it in your blog, but have you sought any counselling or other treatment at all to help you work through things?

I haven't gone into that side of it yet but I have a blog planned on the subject soon.

[Ruskie]

Legend83 said:

A great read and a telling insight into a world definitely misunderstood at an individual level. For every player that makes it, there are countless fodder that don't - mostly forgotten.

Fair play to you for becoming a paramedic too!

Thanks for reading, appreciate it.

[Ruskie]

I am currently in a pretty horrific down period. Here are my thoughts poured out in the blog.

My new blog post detailing how I am currently feeling. Feedback appreciated.


https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

TurboTerrific9 said:

I have just finished reading your blog - it makes for a fascinating read.

I wish you well at this difficult time in dealing what clearly is a debilitating ilness.

I would only comment that despite the fact that you feel your footballing career unfulfilled, you have achieved so much to be proud of - many of the most talented youngsters don't make it anywhere near as far as you have in the game for one reason or another. I can imagine that you have dealt with many a pressure situation on the pitch (or abuse from the crowd) and you must now try and channel that inner-strength positively.

Your blog highlights some of the incredible pressure that modern sportsmen and women now have to face - sadly it also highlights that despite the vast sums of money involved, how equally poor the support structure currently is to help young athletes recognise the symptoms and how to deal with them.

Thank you for taking the time to read and post your thoughts. The feedback is important to me. I am proud of what I achieved as a player but it could of been so much more and I struggle to get over that.

[Ruskie]

My latest blog post on gambling in football and how it affected and still affects my depression.


https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

My new blog on suicide. Feedback appreciated.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

Thanks for taking the time to read it, I appreciate it.

[Ruskie]

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

mikeyr said:

Ruskie you have a talent for conveying your symptoms in a touchingly genuine (and very readable) format. Might not always seem like it's helping but the fact that you can, and do, get your thoughts written out and published to the wider web is quite an achievement!

Please keep up the blog!

That's very kind of you to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm just rambling but it's nice to get some feedback that it reads ok. Cheers.

[Ruskie]

My latest blog post is around music that helps me through.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

Here is my latest blog on what I am doing to address my problems.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...


I would genuinely like to know what people are thinking when they read my blog. The feedback means a lot. The blog has at the time of posting had over 5500 views.

[Ruskie]

hornetrider said:

Ruskie said:

I would genuinely like to know what people are thinking when they read my blog.

It's difficult reading fella. Not because of how it's written or anything like that but because I can feel your pain through the writing. I've got no experience with depression so I'm afraid I don't have any wise words to help you. Although it sounds to me like you are doing the right things - apart from listening to the Smiths! Man, I used to listen to them in good times only - it's not great listening if you are genuinely feeling down

Seriously though, stick with the counselling as maybe they need to take you to places that you're not comfortable with in order to get to the root of your issues. And keep updating the blog, we're reading.

Thank you for the feedback. In a strange way I'm glad it's a difficult read. I think that must be because I am conveying the message successfully of how tough life is at the moment. I intend to stick to the counselling and see it out.

[Ruskie]

zeb said:

Interesting read ruskie. You have a gift for the written word and convey your feelings and emotions well. keep up the good work matey!

Listening to the smiths never helped anyone though !

That's great feedback to receive thanks. I love the smiths!!

[Ruskie]

My new blog post on feeling isolated when suffering with depression.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

As usual all feedback, good or bad appreciated.

[Ruskie]

New Blog. Depression contributing to the demise of my relationship.

https://howfootballruinedmylife.wordpress.com/2015...

[Ruskie]

hornetrider said:

Can I suggest The Housemartins? If not them, then definitely Voice of the Beehive.

Oh yes, Hull's finest. Prefer The Beautiful South to be fair.