Advertising Standards and DeLorean and Ling - THANKS

[Ling Valentine]

First, I would like to thank the snivelling idiot who grassed me to the ASA over my spoof DeLorean advert, you know who you are...

Second, I would like to thank the Haymarket director who spotted the injustice of my PH ban and who re-instated my account.

Third, I would like to thank the PH-ers undying support and 100% encouraging posts while I have been away.

Finally, I would like to thank myself for being so patient.



Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Thanks for all comments and universal support.

I will answer most

RSoovy4 - Agree, but hate to ignore anyone, even losers.

elephantstone - I am real, cars are real, website is real. Only the DeLorean is not real.

RichT - Agree. Physical violence is good.

ehonda - What is hatstand? ASA transcript has been added to since you last looked.
http://www.lingscars.com/images/pdf/asa2.pdf

Stuart - I refuse to condone my own business by agreeing with you, here.

Woody - My business is my business. Your business is uninteresting.

Twig - Stupid comment. Of course I didn't report myself for the DeLorean.

Stuart - noted.

GC8 - outrageous slur.

Silverb - thanks

Carinaman - with the DeLorean interest, there is definitely a market.

Fire99 - Thanks.

OneSikPuppy - made me laugh, anyway

LongBlackCoat - This relatively new poster is probably similar to the person who reported me to the ASA.

RSoovy4 - Exactly.

carinaman - no penalty, that's the crazy thing. They have no sanction. Stupid situation. I would like Subaru and milk churn, obviously.

onesickpuppy - yep

aarondbs - thanks. yes

GC8 - agree, I am annoying.

carinaman - outrageous racist comment (hahaha)

loafer123 - agree thanks

papercup - ditto



... Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Conian said:

You are Ling?

Well! Thank you for the Honda parts, very reasonable prices and your staff were very helpful.

You are talking about Lings Honda Cars and Bikes in Suffolk. Well, this is interesting. They only continue to trade under that name due to a very kind consideration by me that I waive any action against them under my trademark LINGsCARS trade mark UK00002462080, because they are very nice people.

Class 36
Hire-purchase financing of motor vehicles; vehicle valuation services; hire purchase financing of motor vehicles and vehicle valuation services provided online via a global computer database and / or via the Internet; provision of information relating to the aforesaid services.
Class 39
Vehicle leasing and rental services; vehicle leasing and rental services provided online via a global computer database and / or via the Internet; provision of information relating to the aforesaid services.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

CampDavid said:

Are people really unable to use her site because it has bright colours? Really?

Indeed, but to be fair most of these people lead dull lives, so any bit of brightness can be a shock to them

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

hora said:

AGREE. However I don't agree with publishing a ASA employee's emails/correspondence to you Ling. I know it perpetuated increased exposure however its seemed vindicative(?) to me. Everyone with a brain would have seen the press etc and realised it was a spoof etc. No need to go that extra mile IMO.

Ah, well, the ASA saw the press etc and realised it was a spoof etc.

The ASA operates in the public arena. As an independent regulator, I can't see any reason to withhold any part of any discussion based on confidentiality. It's all corporate, no personal information. It should all be transparent, in my opinion. I don't think any communication should be hidden or undisclosed in public. Otherwise what secret cosy arrangements might be hidden?

So, I think it's perfectly fine to publish all correspondence. The employee is representing the ASA, there is no personal info disclosed. If they don't want to be broadcast, then don't send me emails. I made clear in writing in my second email that I was publishing this all online.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Conian said:

Oh wrong Ling, apologies

Easy to confuse me with a full-franchise dealer. Except my new cars are far, far cheaper.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Dog Star said:

Good stuff! Hopefully Ling can give us an insight into the machinations of the leasing industry, how to avoid getting charged a billion quid for scuffing an alloy etc etc, along with her interesting world view

Personally I love the site - it's a big two fingers stuck up at the corporates, and it works.

And next year lets see if she beats Freedom when my SLK goes back

Freedom?... Isn't that an own-brand fanny-pad for sale in Asda? The ones that stop girls from Leeds peeing when they giggle?

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

loafer123 said:

Try it with a Brian Blessed accent...it's even funnier!

Someone said I sound like Kim Jong Un... or look like him... or something.

Grrrrr.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

longblackcoat said:

and generally show zero respect for the ASA by publishing the correspondence...

I won't offend everyone by repeating the whole of your post, in this quote.

Which part of the ASA correspondence should I have kept confidential? And why? If I have a case to answer, why should it be done in secret? Behind closed doors? I far prefer openness, so everyone can make up their own mind.

I think you need something to make you smile. Everyone loves cute cats. So here is a cat with a helmet on:



Ling

[Ling Valentine]

mat777 said:

Jesus Christ

Ling,... blah...

As for your comment on not seeing anything in the correspondance to say you couldn't publish it - I assume you missed all the huge "confidential" watermarks?

I'll answer this nonsense, because although boring, and being argued by mega-petty-posters, it is important.

A company or organisation can't simply declare something "confidential". I has to be mutually agreed it is confidential, or ordered by a court. People cannot simply be gagged and the right to publish withheld, simply because an organisation calls itself an "Authority".

I made it clear in writing to the ASA-holes that everything would be published online. So you can't say I did it behind their backs.

The same thing applies with the ridiculous "embargo" that the ASA tried to gag me with until it published the verdict on its website. You, or they (or anyone) simply can't just shout "embargo" and expect others to tug their cap and say "yes sir". Who the f**k do the ASA think they are? Telling me what and when I can publish something? Frankly it is shocking how they try to control and dominate... over a blatant joke advert.

The Advertising Standards Authority is a busted flush these days. In the new internet era they have NO CONTROL over what I publish on my own website. They can f**k right off. How DARE they tell *me* what I can do on my own website?

If I am breaking the law, then take me to Trading Standards, the Office of Fair Trading or call the police or tell the Information Commissioner. But "Advertising Standards"? They are a joke organisation in the modern media era. And we all pay for it!!!

---

In the same week, I have been complimented by the Information Commissioner.

Someone else (or the same idiot??? - probably) vindictively complained to the Information Commissioner about my website cookie use. Which is a laugh, because the ICO can't figure the stupid new cookie laws which result into setting cookies to indicate that someone has refused to accept cookies. A nonsense circular argument.

So, the ICO sent the following letter to me. http://www.lingscars.com/images/pdf/icoletter.pdf

You should note my cookie policy statement, before you read the letter:

"EU cookie law. ps off Von Rumpy. Me... I hammer visitors to death with cookies, so I can find out what they want. Cookies allow my website to serve visitors the content they need. Get used to it. The EU cookie law is an ass."

It's hard to make this stuff up

There are some complete assholes out there.

Ling

Edited by Ling Valentine on Thursday 11th April 20:13

Edited by Ling Valentine on Thursday 11th April 20:15

Edited by Ling Valentine on Thursday 11th April 20:16

[Ling Valentine]

gazchap said:

It'sa me, the original idiot from the original thread - hi Ling! (thanks for the Chinese polo, by the way)

- as far as I can remember, the "this is a joke listing" thing wasn't on the page when I was on there, and I kinda expected it to have aborted the application process before letting me go all the way through had it been a joke listing.

Gaz Gaz Gaz Gaz

Helooooooooooooooo

Now come on, you KNEW this deal wasn't real before you applied for it. You admitted it. No good pretending otherwise

The "this is a joke listing" was not on when you applied, true. But you KNEW the car was not real.

Ling

(and I haven't linked to you or named you on this thread, to preserve your dignity)

[Ling Valentine]

Dog Star said:

And speaking of customer service the next time someone comes up in your chat window asking for a better look at the rather attractive lady sat next to you then you shouldn't just cut them off! What kind of customer service experience is that?

I'll get me coat

Was that you???

Wot Went Wong sits next to me. She arrived last year, in a shipping container from Hong Kong.

There was a young lady called Wong,
Who came on a boat from Hong Kong,
She's as grumpy as hell,
Has a chop suey smell,
She's no longer Wong, but Pong!

Wong would bite your head off and stick it up your arse. Wong explains my new car quote form in a vid. If you want to see a video of her, watch that, here: http://www.lingscars.com/quoteform.php#models Click on "Quote tutorial starring Wong"



To everyone who may moan about "advertising", please click away now.

Reason I am short with people on live chat is pressure of work. Chatting with 5 people then having an idiot arrive costs me money, so you get chopped off.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

vz-r_dave said:

Ling if you could put a figure on how much this is costing you what would it be? Time and money? It would be interesting to look at your return from the publicity also

Costing me??? You mean "earning me".

Every website visitor earns me approx 60p. If you divide my yearly turnover (GP really) by visitors, it comes to 60p each.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Dog Star said:

Yes it was me

She certainly doesn't sound like she came from Hong Kong; are you sure she's not really stowed away from the north east?

I hope I didn't waste too much of your time; I know you're a very business focused person but there needs to be a bit of levity in the day, and you all seemed to be having a laugh afterwards - no idea if that was connected.

I hope Wot Went Wong is enjoying being a multi-media mega-star!

Yes, we were laughing at that. We have a riot in the office, you can't hear the music... every event a customer or operative does on my website generates a music blast in the office. So it can be deafening, tunes overplay etc. Many are the songs Christine sings on my homepage. So we always know what's happening on my website.

My business runs on hard work and fun. We have a right laugh in the office. In the toilets we have Bristol stool charts and the first person to get full house in a month, wins a prize.

Free chocs and food and coke and ginger beer and everything, often pizzas and kebabs, thai or Chinese food, cakes. You name it, we all eat it. On the business.

Wong is broad Geordie Chinese.

Ling

Edited by Ling Valentine on Thursday 11th April 21:36

[Ling Valentine]

JontyR said:

I know it is a spoof ad, but can you change the ad as I believe the Delorean never came with metallic paint, as it was made in Stainless Steel.

Also, you can tell the ASA that according to Delorean's website in the states http://delorean.com/sales/ it would appear that they are planning to start selling new cars very soon.

My website doesn't have the option of "bare steel"

They have been "planning" to sell new ones for years. It will never happen. Dream on.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Pothole said:

o that rule is missing the words 'if anyone complains about it'? tsk.

Pothole, stop moaning.

It's not the rules that matter, it's the application of the rules.

We all know that, because if everyone who did 71mph on the motorway was prosecuted, no one would hold a licence. I come from China, and most of the rules of life there are similar to the UK, it is just certain application of them that makes them occasionally oppressive.

So, grow up, nit.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Art0ir said:

I have zero intention of ever leasing yet I found myself spending twenty minutes flicking through deals...

Took me ages to make them bounce like that.

If you put in an application for a DeLorean, I will scream and scream and scream.

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Butter Face said:

Ling, I thoroughly enjoyed your correspondence with the ASA. Very humorous!

And as with so many others, I spent an hour looking at your lease deals. At this moment I have absolutely no need to lease a car but when I do it will be from you.

Thanks. But whatever you do, don't have a new car from me. Or I may have to kill you.

Because quite a few spitty moaners on here (you know who you are boyz) will whine and whinge that my clever (non) advertising strategy, works. The twisters are only happy if no-one ever benefits from anything, and everyone suffers. We must all grimace. So if anyone has a car from me, I may be banned.

Mentioning that you looked at my website (other websites are available) is unwelcome, unless you claim migraine or retina damage or something else, childish. You are being most awkward by giving any form of compliment to me. Best to say **I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT**

I now wait for the tsunami of abusive sulphuric spittle from the pea-brained members who hate any expression of enjoyment, success, or fun. Here they come, I can hear them squawking! Quick, hide.

Thanks.

Ling

Edited by Ling Valentine on Friday 12th April 08:19

[Ling Valentine]

r11co said:

Wow! 9 pages of free advertising. Ling's hooked another sucker......

Ling Valentine - a less slick and less successful Richard Branson rip-off.

But no beard (well, not much of one).

Ling

[Ling Valentine]

Strawman said:

Laugh, good thread, I did look at your website a few months ago and was amused by the DeLorean advert, I seem to remember it did say not actually available (or something similar).

VINDICATED!!! Please tell a) pedantic idiots on here who are moaning, b) ASA.

Ta.

Ling