Friday 17th May 2013

Personalised plates: Tell Me I'm Wrong

Chris Harris has a problem with personalised plates but invites you to set him right on the matter...

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This is the story I promised myself I would never write. But until this point I have never enjoyed a format as flexible as this one - one which gives everyone the right to reply because the writer is merely presenting a view of a subject, as opposed to a magazine-style monologue that denies the reader an instant voice.

Yes, we know it's a 911, thank you very much

Here goes. I strongly dislike personalised numberplates. I have never publicly voiced this opinion because I am all too aware that a large majority of my fellow car lovers simply adore the things. I wrote a column for Autocar 10 years ago that explained my true feelings and a day before I was due to submit the copy I was at Silverstone doing a Drift School - 11 of the 18 cars in the car park had personal plates. Realising I was about to commit professional suicide, I never filed it.

I have tried to deconstruct what it is that has led to this trenchant view of cars which exhibit a more personal legal signature and I haven't yet landed upon a single, cogent reason for it. It's a combination of factors.

All about the car
The car is always the star for me. I love cars and I suppose in some small way I love the ubiquity of the normal registration number set against the often special feelings a car can radiate for its owner. The private plate contaminates the simplicity of this man/machine relationship. It could be perceived as quite perverse that someone who makes a living out of publicly talking about cars actually prefers a more internalised appreciation of vehicles, but that's the way I feel. If you are lucky enough to own an M3, I would hope that would be enough and that adding an M3 prefix to the plate wouldn't add much to the driving or ownership experience.

Press offices love novelty plates, Harris less so

Presenting one's name, or an approximation of a name/nickname to complete strangers also strikes me as odd. Imagine walking into a restaurant and shouting 'I'm Kev' - that's what I hear when I see a personalised plate.

Natural selectionI worry for the practicalities too. I may be completely paranoid, but I think a fancy plate probably exposes the owner to a greater chance of being stopped by a police officer for a minor offence that might otherwise have been allowed to pass, and to random acts of vandalism. Again, this might be my advanced state of paranoia, but whenever I have a press car with a silly numberplate it makes me wince.

Socially, I deconstruct the application of special plates in a way that many people will find plain odd. This isn't the place to explain my odd views on the world and the universe, but even accepting the inequalities of life as being nothing more than natural selection, I find it odd that someone who is successful enough to buy a Veyron, or any other car that stops passers by from 100 yards, should feel the need to add a zany numberplate. For me it spoils the aesthetic.

Yes, that's Riggers and yes that plate says 'Lust'

The car is the star, the car draws the admiration, the plate just tips the whole effort into self-absorption. It takes things a little too far.

Personal vs private
Of course I am not immune to good numberplates - and this is probably another of my underlying issues. So many of these plates are just not cool or amusing. They are banal, not obviously explainable and when strangely spaced just look odd to my eyes. They often cheapen very desirable cars. 30 years ago there were just enough private plates around to satisfy the potential audience in the UK, and it was an audience that didn't much care about having its name (or an approximation thereof) on their cars. Nowadays, people want the personal touch and commit terrible crimes against spacing and fixings to achieve their goals.

To be clear, private plates I find a little easier to handle. Often inherited or attached to older cars that wore them in period, they can be subtle and dignified. I especially like them on old snotters - I think anyone who owns a genuinely valuable plate should always try and place it on their least valuable car.

'Performance' SUV, personalised plate - nuff said?

I am fully expecting to have my body dismembered and burnt now. But I write this in the hope that there might just be another strange individual out there who likes a plain old numberplate.

Ducks.

 

[dougisaacs]

Totally agree with Chris here, couldn't have said it better myself. Would you put a big sticker on the back of your car saying 'My name's __'? If not then why do the equivalent on your number plate?!

[dougisaacs]

Mr MXT said:

dougisaacs said:

Totally agree with Chris here, couldn't have said it better myself. Would you put a big sticker on the back of your car saying 'My name's __'? If not then why do the equivalent on your number plate?!

If it made me happy then yes I would.

I agree with the right to choose, I'm not saying ban them! Just a weird concept that having your name emblazoned across your car would make you happy!

Ex Boy Racer said:

P12 ICK