Audi S4: PH Fleet
Chris's S4 turns out to be a faithful hound, and not just because of the smell
The poor old S4 is the complete opposite. It has perhaps the hardest life of any car I know. It endures weeks of inaction, often at the side of the road, and its reintroduction into service normally involves Dan Prosser driving it like a wally with a camera strapped onto the bonnet. Sadly I can't draw this into some anthropomorphic metaphor for a second coming, but that doesn't dull the connection too much because it was a pair of dogs that gave the S4 its, er, signature aroma.
Read our review of the 2017 Audi S4 Avant
This is a car that landed in my life a year ago with me thinking it might need major mechanical surgery, and which has enjoyed a significant power boost in the interim. In other words it was ripe to cause me pain. The gearbox was clunky and a worry, the brakes were ruined and the bodywork was shambolic - although that last point was a bonus given the way the car was going to be used on photo shoots.
Muddy stuff - bikes, dogs, cameramen - go here
10,000 miles later, I am stunned to report that the gearbox is actually a little better than it was with the standard 340hp. I had the oil changed last year and see no reason to do it again for a while. It was the second to first shifts in traffic that seemed to be causing problems, now I just make sure whoever drives the car manually shifts from second to first and there's no lurching at all.
Once you're up and running, the S Tronic dual-clutch is an absolute honey. It perfectly compliments the engine in standard tune, but with the Revo software change it now wants to rev more, and those snappy shifts seem even crisper.
The engine is a never-ending source of surprise. It's so smooth and effective I really can't understand why there aren't more supercharged V6s out there - no doubt emissions are the problem. It pulls hard from 2,500rpm and just builds with linear purpose to 7,000rpm. Combined with seven gear ratios and four-wheel drive the thing is devastating in just about any circumstances. The C63 AMG 507 I'm running the moment has the edge on a straight, dry road when it's spinning above 4,500rpm, but otherwise this old skip is the quicker car.
Baggy trousers
It is beginning to feel loose in the chassis department though. I want to have all the suspension off it, renew the bushes and generally give the thing some love. If there's a way of testing the electronic dampers, I'd like to do that too because they're feeling tired, even if there remains a marked difference between the comfort and sports modes. As there does for the silly dynamic steering - I can only drive it in Comfort, and even then it's not especially pleasant. I think Bilstein does a suspension kit, so I might have a look at removing the electronics.
The wheels are the only part of the scrawny aesthetics that bother me. They're completely trashed and need replacing - probably on safety grounds after the last big impact (not me). The thing is, I love the fact this car looks completely standard and will cut 100mph runs in 9.4 seconds - the last thing I want are snazzy rims. But I need 19-inchers to accommodate the big brakes, so maybe I just buy a new set of what I already have? Thoughts? Do I lose sleeper status the moment I fit some BBS? If the suspension runs a little lower, I certainly do - not the effect I'm looking for.
Those enlarged Stasis brakes have been mixed so far. They started out being very good with a reassuring pedal and far less fade, then a few months in they began grumbling under even moderate use. Now they get very, very noisy, but they do still just about hang on. I'll have the pads off to see what's going on.
Crafty old dog
Fuel consumption is five per cent worse than it was, so we're looking at a 23mpg average. This is hard to gauge though, because I strongly suspect the extra performance means whoever's driving the S4 rather revels in baiting 911s or surprising wives - I bet it actually uses no more fuel. But it really only likes the good stuff - especially Shell V-Power.
The V6 was already using around a litre of oil every 1,500 miles, and that has remained constant. The tail pipes are always black, but then it gets driven hard. Crucially, it has never emitted anything other than dense water vapour on start-up, which is more than can be said for some of my other cars.
Harris in 'Audi possibly better than AMG' shocker!
It sailed through its MoT first time with no advisories, showing 69,000 miles on the clock. I had a big service carried out at Forza West in Chepstow, including new plugs which appear to have been made from pure titanium. Total cost was £460.
Everything electrical works, and feels like it has every intention of continuing to do so.
When I bought this car I treated it as a one-year project. The plan was simple: add some performance, write about it, drag-race an RS4, use it to help us shoot faster cars on film and hope that it held together. After a year I was going to buy the car I really wanted: an E61 M5 touring. I started looking for one last week, and then it dawned on me that this S4 is a far, far more useful tool than an M5 would be.
It's more compact but nearly as spacious, it has more torque, it's probably faster too. It also has a moderately useable fuel range and a tired S-Tronic still kills SMG for everyday driving.
Okay the active steering is pretty horrid in sport mode and it will never trouble an M3 for balance, but in this role I just couldn't care less.
So I've been thinking what we could replace this car with, and I'm seriously struggling to name a single candidate. A B7 RS4 would be slower, less relaxing and more visible. I love AMGs, but increasingly we need traction to film supercars from 2nd gear turns on race tracks.
This is one of those strange, unsung hero cars. I've said it several times before - it really is the hidden gem in the Audi range, and given that we can pretty much assume its replacement will be turbocharged and not as easily tuneable, anyone looking for discreet, practical wheels that will nail a 550 Maranello to 100mph should buy one ASAP.
FACT SHEET
Car: Audi S4 Avant
Run by: Chris Harris
Bought: March 2013
Mileage: 69,000, and rising rapidly
Purchase price: £15,000
Last month at a glance: Respect for the Audi grows and with it, just possibly, a bit of love too
Previous reports:
Harris takes on a family cast-off, starts fiddling immediately
Industrial cleaning vs. dog hair - who wins?
Tuned S4 vs RS4 vid
Chris - did you ever look into software update for your gearbox? There's a bulletin from Audi on exactly your complaint re/ 2nd>1st.
The engine as standard is severely throttled it terms of output as it bleeds more boost with rising charger output to give the marketing department, engineers and emissions people what they each require.
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