Ferrari 512 TR: PH Fleet

Running old Italian exotica is expensive. Horribly expensive in fact, as Chris has discovered

The Ferrari 512TR. I used to love my Ferrari 512TR. I will love it again in a few days time, but right now I'm not very fond of my Ferrari 512 TR.

For once I got myself organised for spring, removed the old red beastie from hibernation early, and booked it in to Dick Lovett Swindon for a service. I wasn't sure whether it needed the dreaded belts changing - designing a mid-mounted flat 12 for with cambelts is manna from heaven for any garage because it requires the engine to be dropped - or if it just required some oil and a general root-around.

Luckily, a quick peek at the massive history file showed it didn't need belts for another year, but as any fool knows, there is no such thing as a small service bill for an old nag, so I refrained from celebrating at this early stage. This proved to be a prescient move.

I dropped the car at Lovett's airport-sized building and then awaited the technician's report. It arrived from the exceedingly helpful Richard Hatton the following day, with the same eye for brevity Dostoyevsky saved for The Brothers Karamazov. "The offside radiator is heavily corroded", it began, and continued in a manner you'd swear was intended to make you relinquish any passion for motor cars. I scan-read to reduce the pain, there was pain in every sentence: "The battery appears to have lost a cell." Wazzocks.

A radiator was ordered and fitted, then oil leaks around both cam-covers were investigated and, thank the almighty, this was traced simply to the covers and not the seals on the ends of the camshafts because that would have necessitated the engine removal job that we avoided a few paragraphs back.

Big Red's second home at the moment!

The problem here was that the last person to fit these was clearly a moron (I shan't name the garage) and had left sealant everywhere, some of it in oil channels. This took a long time to remove and clean. Time is not cheap at Ferrari main dealers, but they are willing to do deals on these older cars. What matters for me is that Lovett's have people who understand these old tanks. I've used people in the past who sound very convincing on the subject, but then the work turns out to be less than stellar. I'd be lying if I said the prospect of an official Ferrari stamp in the book was unappealing.

So, cam-covers neatly in place and radiator fitted, Big Red went off for a test drive - after the handbrake had been adjusted - but this was less than successful because the brake pedal went to the floor. In fairness, even when they're on top form, the brakes feel slightly broken. After limping back, the o/s rear bleed nipple was discovered to be leaking fluid. I was expecting to automatically be stitched into a new caliper, but they had a local engineering firm re-seal the nipple.

All done! Well, mostly - there wasn't quite enough time to balance both banks for perfect throttle response, but it passed its MOT fine, and I was in a hurry so said I'd pop back in a week's time to do that. I handed over £3,200, and walked to the car like a non-cyclist who had ridden 50 miles on a very lean saddle the previous day. An hour later, I wish I'd left the car at the garage.

Stuck in a traffic jam, it started to intermittently drop a bank of cylinders, the warning light saying this was the case illuminated, then the rev-counter needle began flinging itself around and there I was witnessing a genuinely impressive Italian tantrum. There was clicking under the dash too, it sounded like a faulty relay and clearly it was an electrical issue, but I just don't have the skills to investigate such things, so I abandoned the car for the night, took a taxi home and used many swear words. "Why did you sell that nice Porsche?" queried an old pal, just before my fist crunched into his solar plexus.

Lovetts recovered the car the following day and found that the left hand bank coil pack connector was broken. This was fixed, and then the bank-balancing (yes, stop tittering at the back) was carried out and, finally, all was.....only it wasn't. Injector number four, the evil little bastard that he is, was found to offer half his normal resistance, so another was ordered and fitted -£390 incl. VAT. They were good enough to refund my taxis and trains from earlier in the week.

I haven't seen the car yet, it's being dropped back in an hour or so. I care about driving these things, and I tend to find that the most unpleasant period in the ownership process of these old, potentially ruinous sheds is the hinterland between payment and first thrashing it on a favourite road. In other words, enjoying the fruits of your outlay. I'm sitting in that purgatory now, but it won't be for long.

The truth is, these cars cost money to keep, I want it in top mechanical condition and we're probably looking at an appreciating asset, so there's no real problem. And I'm such a sucker for the way it looks that all animosity will disperse the moment it rolls off the truck.

Love cars; hate cars.

FACT SHEET
Car: Ferrari 512 TR
Run by: Chris Harris
Bought: June 2013
Mileage: The last number plus driving to Lovetts...
Purchase price: Next question!
Last month at a glance: Servicing gets costly for Big Red

Previous updates:
Chris has bought another Ferrari...
Family holiday? Take the 512 and be damned!
Rain stops play (briefly) for the 512

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HorneyMX5

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