Am I being a selfish b@$&%£d?
Discussion
Okay, back story.... I have a decent home with the Mrs who is pregnant and baby fish is due end of January.
As we are in the final 1/4 I have started casting my eye towards the end of the fiscal year it looks like I will be getting a fairly decent end of year bonus, mainly because I have worked my arse off.
Now... I'm thinking want to spend this bonus money on me... after all, I have earned it! Mrs seems to think otherwise....!
My current car is a 1.6 6N2 Polo GTi (5 door) whilst it can be entertaining it is a far cry of cars I have previously owned:
- DC2 ITR
- RX7 (FD)
- Heavily tuned euro hatches etc
- Various sports bikes
I miss having a "silly" (read: PH-worthy) car and I see having this money at the end of the year as a reward for the long stressful days and nights of working my arse off.
So, would I be entirely selfish to buy a 2nd car for me ideally I would be looking at spending around £5-6k. The Polo would not be the worst "family car" even if it was just for the initial few years while baby is growing up. It is a 5 door, relatively roomy and has been a good reliable motor since I have owned her (gearbox imploding excepted as it was/ is a known fault on the 6N2 gearbox).
There are two options that present themselves:
- Buy a nice car that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage
- Buy a sports bike that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage (and save a couple grand).
I have always fancied an S2000, I do have a garage and driveway so keeping the two cars would not be an issue, can a decent S2000 be had for the budget? (I am open to other suggestions along this vein).
Or, thinking aloud, can a Caterfield type car be had for that money?
For those that do not want to read all that ^^^^ here are the bullet points:
As we are in the final 1/4 I have started casting my eye towards the end of the fiscal year it looks like I will be getting a fairly decent end of year bonus, mainly because I have worked my arse off.
Now... I'm thinking want to spend this bonus money on me... after all, I have earned it! Mrs seems to think otherwise....!
My current car is a 1.6 6N2 Polo GTi (5 door) whilst it can be entertaining it is a far cry of cars I have previously owned:
- DC2 ITR
- RX7 (FD)
- Heavily tuned euro hatches etc
- Various sports bikes
I miss having a "silly" (read: PH-worthy) car and I see having this money at the end of the year as a reward for the long stressful days and nights of working my arse off.
So, would I be entirely selfish to buy a 2nd car for me ideally I would be looking at spending around £5-6k. The Polo would not be the worst "family car" even if it was just for the initial few years while baby is growing up. It is a 5 door, relatively roomy and has been a good reliable motor since I have owned her (gearbox imploding excepted as it was/ is a known fault on the 6N2 gearbox).
There are two options that present themselves:
- Buy a nice car that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage
- Buy a sports bike that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage (and save a couple grand).
I have always fancied an S2000, I do have a garage and driveway so keeping the two cars would not be an issue, can a decent S2000 be had for the budget? (I am open to other suggestions along this vein).
Or, thinking aloud, can a Caterfield type car be had for that money?
For those that do not want to read all that ^^^^ here are the bullet points:
- SickFish wants to spunk £5-6k on nice weekend car, Mrs is resistant
- Can I convince Mrs that the Polo GTi is a good family-wagon
- What should I buy?
- Am I a selfish b
d and submit financially to the Mrs to buy six grand's worth of hooker slap
Birdster said:
Hate to be the boring one.
How are the finances in general? Holidays and experiences, things for the baby and home will be much more useful and will make your life more fulfilled as a family than a new car will.
If things are good and this is money that if you didn't receive it you would't miss it I see no harm in buying the car.
How about buy the car and something nice for Mrs Fish?
Finances are above average, but by no means wealthy. We have been very sensible and we already have everything for baby. Nursery is decorated and fully kitted out etc and has already been spoilt!How are the finances in general? Holidays and experiences, things for the baby and home will be much more useful and will make your life more fulfilled as a family than a new car will.
If things are good and this is money that if you didn't receive it you would't miss it I see no harm in buying the car.
How about buy the car and something nice for Mrs Fish?
The bonus is on top of my annual salary so is exactly that... a bonus.
Birdster said:
SickFish said:
Birdster said:
Hate to be the boring one.
How are the finances in general? Holidays and experiences, things for the baby and home will be much more useful and will make your life more fulfilled as a family than a new car will.
If things are good and this is money that if you didn't receive it you would't miss it I see no harm in buying the car.
How about buy the car and something nice for Mrs Fish?
Finances are above average, but by no means wealthy. We have been very sensible and we already have everything for baby. Nursery is decorated and fully kitted out etc and has already been spoilt!How are the finances in general? Holidays and experiences, things for the baby and home will be much more useful and will make your life more fulfilled as a family than a new car will.
If things are good and this is money that if you didn't receive it you would't miss it I see no harm in buying the car.
How about buy the car and something nice for Mrs Fish?
The bonus is on top of my annual salary so is exactly that... a bonus.
If it really is extra income not better spent elsewhere then treat yourself. You only live once.
I wasn't 'banking' on having the money in my financial plans so the bonus is essentially "spare" cash... for want of a better word.
Didn't mean to offend
PompeyM3 said:
I found when the first child arrives, there's a fair bit of stuff you need to buy, prams, cots, car seats, high chairs, nappies etc. might be worth using the bonus towards all that stuff and seeing what you have left, plus save a little towards another car a bit later on.
Of course, this all depends on the size of the bonus
Already bought Of course, this all depends on the size of the bonus
theres nothing left to buy! Muzzer79 said:
If you can afford to:
> Let your Mrs stop working, at least until the little one is in a nursery Mrs is out of work now and has been for 8 weeks
> Maintain a decent lifestyle whilst this is happening (couple of meals out every now and again, decent-ish holiday once a year, etc) so far so good we have not long come back from 2 weeks in Florida
> Save cash for the future I regularly put some aside
> Buy everything that the baby does and will need in the near future done
> Replace the Polo when you discover that it's not big enough. that is in the grand scheme of things.... obviously
Whilst blowing a valuable £6k on another car, and another £x000 insuring/maintaining it then by all means do it.
If not, don't spend a valuable £6k on a stupid car when you have more pressing priorities.
I think the covers most of the other comments too > Let your Mrs stop working, at least until the little one is in a nursery Mrs is out of work now and has been for 8 weeks
> Maintain a decent lifestyle whilst this is happening (couple of meals out every now and again, decent-ish holiday once a year, etc) so far so good we have not long come back from 2 weeks in Florida
> Save cash for the future I regularly put some aside
> Buy everything that the baby does and will need in the near future done
> Replace the Polo when you discover that it's not big enough. that is in the grand scheme of things.... obviously
Whilst blowing a valuable £6k on another car, and another £x000 insuring/maintaining it then by all means do it.
If not, don't spend a valuable £6k on a stupid car when you have more pressing priorities.
StottyEvo said:
This thread reminds me why I don't want marriage or a child
Why...? My Mrs is usually very good and lets me get on with what i want, in reality she is only really joking about me being a selfish bd but it raises a fair question.Being with someone longterm (I'm not married as I do not need a piece of paper to prove how i feel) doesn't mean your life is over. I went out Saturday night got very drunk and crashed at my mates, I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. My life is far from over....
We were told we couldn't have children, so while we hadn't originally planned on having them, we were over the moon to hear that we have a little girl on the way....
Don't believe all the nay-sayers on here mate.... pick a good'un and you wouldn't regret it. But in the mean time slam as many birds as you possibly can.....! Trust me.... that is important
For the record I'm 28.... (if that makes any difference)
Edited by SickFish on Tuesday 21st October 20:11
StottyEvo said:
This thread reminds me why I don't want marriage or a child
Why...? My Mrs is usually very good and lets me get on with what i want, in reality she is only really joking about me being a selfish bd but it raises a fair question.Being with someone longterm (I'm not married as I do not need a piece of paper to prove how i feel) doesn't mean your life is over. I went out Saturday night got very drunk and crashed at my mates, I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. My life is far from over....
We were told we couldn't have children, so while we hadn't originally planned on having them, we were over the moon to hear that we have a little girl on the way....
Don't believe all the nay-sayers on here mate.... pick a good'un and you wouldn't regret it. But in the mean time slam as many birds as you possibly can.....! Trust me.... that is important
For the record I'm 28.... (if that makes any difference)
Edited by SickFish on Tuesday 21st October 20:12
bqf said:
Kids are great buy are one facet to your life, which is YOURS. If you can afford it, do it. I've spent too many years worrying about not being able to afford what I really want...now my son is ten i'm getting hammered on school fees, trips to ski resorts, unfeasibly expensive holidays, and overpriced clothes for someone half the size of an adult. While I love him to bits it's all a very dear do, so for years i've kept money back, rainy day fund, don't do anything silly, and all that stuff.
Last week I thought fk THAT and bought a Ferrari.
Life is short, and when he's fifteen and calling you a tt for not letting him shag his girlfriend on your kitchen table, you'll be glad of those moments in your Caterfield/Boxster/MX5, whatever.
Do it.
I just read your post to the Mrs.... she wants to see the Ferrari...... Last week I thought f
k THAT and bought a Ferrari.Life is short, and when he's fifteen and calling you a t
t for not letting him shag his girlfriend on your kitchen table, you'll be glad of those moments in your Caterfield/Boxster/MX5, whatever.Do it.
it's really me that wants to see it.....
After actually sitting down with the Mrs last night and talking about this (the "selfish bd" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )
The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
d" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
Edited by SickFish on Wednesday 22 October 10:41
daemon said:
SickFish said:
It's the weekend toy I am interested in! 
Looking at it from your wifes perspective, she sees herself as just about to become a mother and you a father and having a family future together. You see yourself spunking £6,000 on a weekend toy for YOU.I'd imagine any friction is coming from the disconnect between what she needs you to be - a caring parent - and what your priorities are at the moment - a sports car to go out in on your own at the weekends.
I could see why she might be having issues with this - particularly given you seem determined to spend it on a weekend TOY for YOU, rather than on at least something that can be used by all of your new family.
WinstonWolf said:
SickFish said:
After actually sitting down with the Mrs last night and talking about this (the "selfish bd" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )
The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
d" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
Edited by SickFish on Wednesday 22 October 10:41
I wouldn't get anything too sporty. The first time you go to get your knee down after the kiddy is born you'll hear the words "where's Daddy" and you won't be able to nail it any more
- GSXR 600 SRAD (lovely... but looked dated)
- R1 (put simply... too bloody fast...!!!)
- GSXR 750 (pretty much perfection... flickable and has 'enough' grunt but expensive)
St John Smythe said:
Stuart70 said:
V
Your response, can I spend a bit of "extra" short term money on a toy for ME,ME,ME?
As someone with an xfr and a Caterham, I am in no way saying you should not have toys, but have you got the mortgage paid off, redundancy rainy day pot, funds for future larger house and college/university fund for sprog all sorted. I would suggest at this stage "your" bonus is a contribution to financial security. But, hey; I am just a dull risk averse saver with lots of toys...
So you think you need to pay the mortgage off before you're allowed toys if you have kids? Wtf?Muzzer79 said:
If you can afford to:
> Let your Mrs stop working, at least until the little one is in a nursery
> Maintain a decent lifestyle whilst this is happening (couple of meals out every now and again, decent-ish holiday once a year, etc)
> Save cash for the future
> Buy everything that the baby does and will need in the near future
> Replace the Polo when you discover that it's not big enough.
Whilst blowing a valuable £6k on another car, and another £x000 insuring/maintaining it then by all means do it.
If not, don't spend a valuable £6k on a stupid car when you have more pressing priorities.
This is the smartest, most responsible post on this whole topic. You are about to bring another life into the world, build a family and take on a whole new perspective on life. > Let your Mrs stop working, at least until the little one is in a nursery
> Maintain a decent lifestyle whilst this is happening (couple of meals out every now and again, decent-ish holiday once a year, etc)
> Save cash for the future
> Buy everything that the baby does and will need in the near future
> Replace the Polo when you discover that it's not big enough.
Whilst blowing a valuable £6k on another car, and another £x000 insuring/maintaining it then by all means do it.
If not, don't spend a valuable £6k on a stupid car when you have more pressing priorities.
Your response, can I spend a bit of "extra" short term money on a toy for ME,ME,ME?
As someone with an xfr and a Caterham, I am in no way saying you should not have toys, but have you got the mortgage paid off, redundancy rainy day pot, funds for future larger house and college/university fund for sprog all sorted. I would suggest at this stage "your" bonus is a contribution to financial security. But, hey; I am just a dull risk averse saver with lots of toys...
JuniorD said:
SickFish said:
After actually sitting down with the Mrs last night and talking about this (the "selfish bd" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )
The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
Haha, your missus has you sussed out. You're just dreaming and passing away the time. Your thoughts are just idle distractions. She knows, as does everyone else here, that you won't be buying a weekend car and you won't be buying a motorcycle either. d" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....
Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.
It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever
Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....
..... heads off to PH classifieds
Edited by SickFish on Wednesday 22 October 10:41
As I now have this spare cash coming in in the New Year it means it can happen a little sooner than anticipated.
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