Land Rover Defender 90: PH Fleet

PH bids farewell to the Twisted Defender with a snowy expedition to the Yorkshire Dales

Secret crushes can be exciting, if frustrating. I've been admiring the PH Twisted Defender since it joined the PistonHeads fleet. I knew I wanted one. It's the kind of emotion that makes grown men buy Tonka toys, or £500 mountain climbing jackets that get worn in wine bars. See it, want it. Buy it, regret it.

Mud on its boots, grin on our faces

So I told myself that I should be happy I didn't drive the Twisted and the blooms of desire (and rash decisions) had been well and truly nipped in the bud. And then the phone rang, and Dan asked me what I was doing tomorrow...

So let me set the scene. It's that indeterminate period between Christmas and New Year. Nobody's really sure whether it's a work day or a play day. Just a week of turkey sandwiches and odd jobs. I've abandoned the chaos of the family home to arrive via slimy roads in the snow-dusted hills of North Yorkshire. Charles Fawcett, founder and CEO of Twisted Automotive is already throwing his big green wellies into the back of 'our' T40.

"It should be glorious up there," he enthuses, gesturing towards the moors. "It's a beautiful day for it. Scott's coming too in his Discovery, and my dad will meet us up there in his Defender 110."

For a company that sold nearly 100 luxury cars last year it's a wonderfully genuine and informal welcome. Within 20 minutes of leaving Thirsk, I'm hanging onto the passenger seat of the two-seater Defender as Charles throws the PH-stickered TD40 into corner after corner.

There is substance behind the Twisted style

Considering its heritage, the cornering is remarkable. Flat and pointy would be the simplest description. The low-friction winter roads hold no fear, four wheels sliding, nose pointing where it's asked rather than where it wants to.

My turn to drive confirms it all. Having briefly driven a Series I Defender, and a multitude of agricultural and commercial vehicles, the Twisted T40 blows away preconceptions. It's got a lovely little steering wheel and a responsive motor blessed with more than enough torque to trouble your licence on any country road. Where the standard Ford Transit power would leave you stuck in the queue, the 180hp remap permits some pretty authentic Sunday morning overtakes.

It's no Caterham, of course. By comparison you're steering with mittens and mashing the pedals with platform wellies. The grin plastered all over my face says it all though.

All too soon the twisty little lane has turned into a rock-strewn track. Between dry stone walls and facing a small ford Charles takes over and gives me my first ever lesson in green laning.

Fun on the road, even more so off it

"You've got to think about the shape of your car, and understand what's going underneath it. How much clearance do we have? And where?"

He looks at me. This is not a rhetorical question.

"Erm ... about seven inches?" I stammer, and make vague motions towards bulk of the differential just left of centre. I try to imagine the terrain passing under our Land Rover and where it would fit.

"Close enough," grins Charles. "So remember that, and also remember it's better to put the wheel directly over something you don't like. If you brush against a sharp rock, or slide into it, it's easy to blow a tyre."

Not long after Charles has handed me the controls again.

"You don't need to bother with the low-ratio box or diff lock yet," he says. "This is baby stuff. Just look forwards and let it roll in second gear. You'll find a sweet spot where we're making progress but not bouncing too much."

Yeah, looks like a rubbish day out...

For a green lane novice it feels like I'm achieving the impossible. The Defender is swallowing up the rocks, bumps and muddy ruts with ease. Despite completing the transformation from tractor to car, the modern Bilstein/Eibach components still seem to handle the off-road stuff.

"We don't need to push the off-road side of Twisted," admits Charles as we climb ever higher into Dales. "It's something our customers just take for granted. A Defender should always be able to get through any lane or country estate. Twisted Defenders are special because of how they handle everyday journeys on normal roads. More comfort, more refinement. That kind of stuff. If you want an off-road warrior, that's not what we're about."

Modest words given the next obstacle that looms large. A steep, rocky track that will take us up to the top of a snow-bound Nidderdale. I'd think twice about walking up it.

Centre diff locked, low-range selected. Progress slows as Charles carefully crawls each wheel up and over every rock and shelf. The water runs down the lane and over the many granite steps ahead. At times the track sinks into the landscape so far the verges are level with the wing mirrors.

Beats toiling round the M25

The reward for this tricky ascent is a spot of Christmas cake, fruity Wensleydale cheese and a hot coffee. All of these graciously supplied by Richard from the depths of his long-wheelbase 110. Scott Taylor, who has a machining and fabrication shop just down the road from Twisted HQ, has brought his wife's Discovery TDV6, stock apart from some proper all terrain rubber. The views are amazing and the silence is wonderful.

The descent to Scar House Reservoir is the final obstacle. It's only a half-mile of track, but it's a couple of hundred metres down too. And, terrifyingly, it's frozen solid as water running off the moor above lies in inch-thick icy slabs.

First things first, we walk it. Although, truth be told, I walk next to it, high up on the heather bank. A plan is forming. Richard sits tight in the cab of his 110 as Charles gives him the rundown of what we've just walked.

"Aim for the bank, and for the edges," he advises Scott. "Let the Hill Descent work and try not to brake too much."

Try not to brake? I don't like this. There's no question of me driving this section at all. I don't even want to be in the car when it happens. From outside it's an amazing sight. A track I literally would struggle to walk down, and yet ... here comes the Defender. It's all happening at a snail's pace, but the adrenaline is palpable. It's jerky as wheels roll smoothly, then lock. Steering is applied expertly and quickly, Charles keeping one wheel in the rough edge wherever he can.

While the rest of the UK munched on cold turkey...

Inch by inch we all make progress down the hill, regrouping after each short section and then walking it again.

It takes another 90 minutes for the three Land Rovers to finally reach the tarmac road next to the choppy and freezing waters. I even sit inside the Twisted Defender for the final rocky section, though my heart is inside my mouth the whole time.

Mentally exhausted, chilled to the bone, the plan is to enjoy the warm cabin of the Twisted Defender all the way back to Thirsk. But there's something about being the guy in the Land Rover, isn't there? And there are certain responsibilities. So when we find a convoy of rental driving American tourists floundering on a snow-covered slope, there's not much choice. Richard's all over it and, tow rope deployed from his 110, he's pulling the first car up the slope before we've even made a plan.

The sunset is spectacular over the snowy Dales, the Twisted Defender looks every bit as awesome as it did the first time I saw it. As practical and sensible as a Defender, but with the aggression and passion turned to 11. Even though my budget is more Suzuki Jimny than AMG G-Wagen, I know I'd love to own one more now than ever before. And I blame Dan.

FACT SHEET
Car: Twisted Land Rover Defender 90
Run by: Everyone!
On fleet since: August 2014
Mileage: 7,086
List price new: £50,265.04 (Price as standard for Land Rover Defender 90 Hard Top XS £27,490. Twisted options as follows: Twisted P6 Performance Upgrade £2,064, Twisted Progressive Suspension £2,544, Twisted by Alcon brake upgrade £3,984, Corris Grey paint to grill, vent and wing mirrors £474, Java Metallic to rear crossmember and mud flap brackets £493.50, raised intake vents and premium side vent £94.80, Twisted oval badges £38.40, gloss black Land Rover bonnet badge £168.60, BF Goodrich all-terrain tyres 265/65 R18 £1,389, Twisted 18-inch White Sport alloys £1,734, crystal headlights with stainless bezels £256.80, LED brake, tail, reverse and fog lights plus indicators £672, Twisted Zinc coated, Java metallic LED front bumper £591, stainless steel A2 exterior fixings £486, front roll hoop in black with light mounts £1,554, tubular rear step and towing bracket £591, Twisted 6mm black coated steering guard £348, black chequer plate top to tubular side rails and stainless fixings £270, Twisted exterior decals and number plates £12.60, privacy glass £474, Recaro leather CS seats and Twisted raised subframe £3,123, 350mm sport steering wheel and shallow Twisted boss £339, centre raised arm rest and grainy leather and silver stitch to cubby box £393, grainy leather and silver stitch to dash tops and grab handle £432, Land Rover oval rear load liner £159.54 and rubber mats £88.80)
Last month at a glance: The PH Twisted loan ends on a high as the Defender struts its stuff off-road.

Previous reports:
Twisted Defender arrives and there's a scramble for the keys!
Two different drivers, two very different opinions on TW14TED
The Defender is out earning its keep and making some fans
Sunday Service beckons for the Twisted Defender