Friday 6th March 2015

Shed Of The Week: Alfa GTV

A long pros list, a long cons list and an alluringly cheap price for this Twin Spark GTV

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History is littered with examples of stuff being sold off surprisingly cheaply. Shed is no more interested in politics than he is in ladies' underwear, but even he can be provoked into dark mutterings when subjects such as the Post Office, Eurostar, and Britain's power industry come up in the conversation.

In the world of motors, the first emotion brought on by a suspiciously low car asking price is, perhaps understandably, suspicion. A lot of the time, buying jitters are understandable.

Let's agree on one thing - it's very pretty

But then there are other times when you just have to swallow your fear and take things at face value. This could be one of those times.

It's impossible to overstate the excitement of the Alfa GTV launch back in 1995. The Kamm-tail look shell was designed by Pininfarina. The sumptuous insides were crafted by Walter de Silva. Not only was it sexy, it handled beautifully and had great engines. Autocar instantly crowned it Car of the Year. Bruno Cena was crowned Engineer of the Year. And Shed believes that Felicity Kendal might have been crowned Rear of the Year round about then.

Now you can get one, a GTV that is, for £750 or less, complete with 'private' (anybody know what that means?) numberplate.

(Health warning: if you feel you might in any way be susceptible to Alfa madness, look away now and read about Geneva or something instead, or risk being lured onto the rocks.)

Are they rocks, though? It's fair to say that Alfa Romeo doesn't have the sort of reliability reputation you'd bet your hutch on, let alone your house. But just because a family has a dodgy rep, it doesn't necessarily mean that every scrap of dodgy DNA is passed undiluted on to each new generation. Admittedly, in 2001 - the year that this GTV was new - Alfa came bottom out of 22 marques ranked by Motor Warranty Direct. By 2002, things had improved: Alfa had shot up to next to bottom. By 2004 it had zoomed out of the relegation zone up to, erm, fourth from bottom.

Not a V6, but the TS is not without appeal

14 years on, warranties are a distant memory. Any model-specific issues have long been identified and sussed out. Now it's just about ongoing management - and that's an entirely realistic proposition.

The last GTV Shed we had was back in October '13, a dark blue 2000 model 3.0 V6. It had high miles (161,000), baggy suspension and an uncertain cambelt prognosis. Nevertheless, the owner reported 100 per cent reliability. This one here is a different kettle of calamari. For a start, it's the 2.0-litre Twin Spark, which like the V6 is a fine engine but in a different way. For a start, it revs like a swine. It is also considerably lighter than the six. This reduces the tendency of the GTV's front end to push straight on in corners, and of course is kinder to the front suspension, a known GTV weakness.

If you're the kind of person that's attracted by activities such as base jumping, bear-baiting and bare-knuckle boxing, you won't bother doing the belts and tensioners long before the recommended 72K interval. Sensible folk will maybe halve that. This car's belt was changed three years ago, so the door that leads into the corridor of uncertainty on that one is just starting to creak open.

Only drivers who fit the Italian build need apply

2.0 Twin Sparks have been known to suffer from oil starvation, most likely from oil pump failure. That's a hard one to guard against. You'll know it when it happens, though. There'll be a bit of a bang, followed by a quiet whimper from an area about three feet above the driver's seat.

Aluminium suspension is a wonderful thing when it's new, but not so good when the bolts holding it on have enwidened their holes. If it has this problem, a four-wheel alignment won't stop it chewing through tyres. Polyflexing the back end (which isn't rose-jointed on the 2.0) is one way to stave off subframe erosion.

Those classic alloys can be a bit soft too, confirmed in this case by the owner's refurb suggestion. Obviously the electrics are, well, Italian. Immobilisers, central locking, random lights, all these and more can play up. If it's a Friday afternoon car you can add rubbish door seals. Rads are fragile too.

GTVs aren't massively practical. If you thought Italian drivers had short legs, you'll find that Italian passengers are even more afflicted when you get in the back. Make sure you've got your mobile with you in case you need to call for assistance. Boot space is literally that, one pair of boots and it's full.

£750 and a GTV reg? Bargain!

On the plus side, all the keys are present and correct, a potential money-saver. Most importantly, a looked-after example will drive as well as it looks. That Tipo platform was a good'n. With just 88K miles covered, there's every reason to think that there'll be some juice left in the chassis, and not too much dulling of the sublimely quick steering with which every sporting Alfa from the mid-90s has been blessed.

The officially-acknowledged Most Boring Man in Britain was on the radio the other day talking about his speciality, the history of manhole covers. Some of it was actually quite interesting. And did you know that the price of a dairy cow is around £1,000?

This is nothing to do with anything. It's just a distraction to try and help Alfa madmen. Call it a public service.

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Epilogue: Unfortunately as sometimes happens with Shed between processing this story yesterday afternoon and publication this morning the featured GTV has sold. If you're feeling brave there's another 2.0 TwinSpark for £500 here...

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Here's the ad for the featured car.

Well cared for GTV 2.0 Twin Spark Lusso with full main dealer and specialist service history. Original stamped service book, receipts and handbooks. New cambelt and clutch fitted 2012, four new tyres and wheel alignment December 2014. MOT until end of September 2015. Recent purchase of a convertible means I have to reluctantly sell.
Comes with personal plate F2GTV, three orginal keys, two working remote locking fobs,a master key and the key code card.
This GTV is a Lusso so it has the 16" alloys and full Momo leather interior, including door cards and dash. All four seats are unmarked and look new.
There are some small stone chips on the bonnet, two minor parking scuffs, and the alloys could do with refurbishing, hence the very reasonable asking price. With a bit of attention this could be a great car for a relatively small amount of money.
A bit of a bargain. Cash only.

[Crapgame]

An Alfa GTV for under a bag of sand! really is there anymore stylish a way to wave the money of. I say yes knowing it will go pete tong!

(wayhay for typing and not looking at the thread title.. ><)