Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S: Driven
Is it a truck? Is it a supercar? Nobody knows, least of all us. But we drove it anyway...
The answer is, of course, because people buy them and manufacturers need to make money, not just satisfy the one per cent of the car population who consider themselves enthusiasts. Who these SUV-coupe buyers are and what they know about cars is almost irrelevant. In this niche-obsessed market, it would be crazier for Benz to ignore the X6 and X4 than try to replicate them.
Well if an X6 doesn't quite cut it...
The 22-inch wheels are standard fit on this model, as is the unique and suitably aggressive body kit. But all the chrome trim and LEDs in the world can't disguise the size of the GLE as you step in, and up, to the cabin. The height of the door is impressive, a deep and heavy chunk of metal that swings back into place behind you, like a tombstone falling into a velvet-lined grave marked 'Good Taste'.
Even when you're comfortably seated up and above the common folk the GLE is still tangibly E-Class, though that's not always the best thing. Yes, that's your cue to unleash the outrage about the tablet-style display seemingly so hated by PHers but, Mercedes maintains, is the best solution to putting the info(tainment) in your line of sight.
The space around the driver and passenger is impressive. Almost superior to the E-Cass or 5 Series in both height and elbow room. Though behind it's a little less impressive, being more M6 Gran Coupe than E63 wagon. Bigger adults will be cramped, but teenagers and younger kids perfectly comfortable. Forget about the boot though. While it could certainly swallow a lot of shopping, bigger and more awkward items (including the four-legged variety) will definitely struggle.
See here for the real appeal
Like the E 63 S, the GLE 63 S is powered by the sledgehammer subtle M157 5.5-litre V8. This twin-turbo, 585hp monster is an impressive and characterful powerplant in any application. But despite its relative youth this might be one of the last times we see this in a new AMG. Push the button and a cold-start apocalypse explodes from the twin AMG-trimmed tailpipes, a sound that never really dies down until you finish the journey or allow the stop-start technology to work.
As with every car these days, the GLE is afflicted with a multitude of driving modes, which change everything from damping rates to exhaust note to gear selection in the 7G-Tronic automatic gearbox. So why is 'Comfort' not that comfortable? The constant thump of the V8 soundtrack is just the wrong side of reassuring at motorway speeds, and the ride quality marred by a constant high-frequency shuddering that can turn even the smoothest looking road into a bit of an annoyance. Though the weighting of the steering is at its best in comfort mode.
Rocking in your wake
Over on the sportier side of the dial, the ride becomes unnaturally firm and the cornering abilities uncanny for a 2,350kg SUV. Coupled to the utterly ludicrous amounts of shove from that AMG motor and endless traction from the 40:60-split 4Matic all-wheel drive, the GLE will fulfil all your overtaking needs with aplomb.
Of course, the seating position helps you too, with excellent forward visibility. Super-quick shifts are only a tap of the paddle away, allowing you to plan the manoeuvre and execute it, leaving the 'victims' rocking in your wake.
Arrival into the corners at these kinds of speeds might be enough to scare you in a previous generation SUV, but not the GLE. While every model gets Airmatic air-sprung suspension, only the '63 S benefits from AMG's active roll-control and hydraulic anti-roll bars as standard (though it's an option on the GLE 450). In Sport mode the big super-jeep feels like it wants to enter a racetrack, so taut and firm is the ride. Body control from the active hydraulic anti-roll bars is always deeply impressive.
As confused on the road as it sounds on paper
But wind it up a notch to Sport+ and things just get silly. The steering wheel becomes leaden and dull, devoid of feedback. Annoyingly, even when configuring your 'Individual' mode, it doesn't allow you to separate the steering weight from the suspension and anti-roll control. Which is a shame, as Comfort definitely enjoys the best feedback.
Another annoyance is that every downshift in Sport+ performs the exact same pop-BANG exhaust note. They talk about the discomfort of the 'uncanny valley' for androids looking like humans, but it's the perfectly choreographed look-at-me exhaust pops here that will quickly put you off the Sport+ mode after your first 10 minutes in the car. They're so identical and predictable that the fun wears out within minutes.
And while potholes and low kerbs might make you fear for the health of the rubber bands stretched around those 22-inch rims, it's not actually the big bumps that upset the GLE Coupe. It's the high-frequency vertical motions you can't ignore. Like fitting cheap aftermarket coilovers to an old car, there's a lack of refinement unusual for any car sporting the three-pointed star.
Well of course they'll be everywhere
Given the bar set by recent AMGs it seems surprising the Affalterbach crew would put their names to a car with such flaws, leading to an equally disturbing conclusion. Namely, the GLE Coupe really is meant to 'feel' like this. And this contrived AMG 'sportiness' is spread superficially over the GLE Coupe like icing sugar and sprinkles over a baked potato.
And for every 99 people ready to dismiss this sweet and savoury creation on a point of principle there will be another absolutely smitten by it. And there are markets where that proportion will be significantly higher - welcome to the new world order where the apparently 'niche' is king.
It's a perfectly impressive, yet utterly ridiculous car, and any keenly worded rant about its buyers being poseurs, footballers and those needing to over compensate for deficiencies elsewhere will bounce off those attracted to it like water off a duck's back. And we wouldn't want to steal your thunder...
MERCEDES-AMG GLE63 S COUPE
Engine: 5,461cc V8, twin-turbo
Transmission: 7-speed auto, four-wheel drive
Power (hp): 585@5,500rpm
Torque (lb ft): 560@1,750-5,250rpm
0-62mph: 4.2sec
Top speed: 155mph (limited)
Weight: 2,350kg
MPG: 23.7mpg (NEDC combined)
CO2: 278g/km
Price: £96,555
[Source: Mercedes-AMG]
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