Wednesday 1st July 2015

Volvo C30: Guilty Pleasures

It may be hopeless as a hot hatch, but Chris Rees still has a soft spot for the five-cylinder C30

---

When my other half announced she was buying a Volvo the world reacted, in unison, with despair. It was like breaking the news of a nasty medical condition, or that a family member had died.

"What on earth are you thinking?" quizzed one. Work colleagues told her she'd be bored to tears by a Volvo, and our PH-minded friends sniggered and shook their heads in pity. And I began to feel bad about it, because I'd actually suggested the Volvo in the first place.

But hang on, we're not talking a V70 here. She bought a C30. Still not convinced? I'm not surprised. Few people are.

Drivers not required

Now these are cool wheels

The received wisdom is that the C30 is no driver's car. The 1.6 DRIVe diesel that we have on our driveway is no sharp tool, but it's perky enough, averages 52mpg day in, day out and hasn't put a foot wrong in 60,000 miles.

But there's always the T5 version, isn't there? You know, the performance model with the Focus ST's five-cylinder engine, which kicks out 220hp-230hp depending on the year.

Almost everyone dismisses it, though, as being way off the hot hatch pace - and I do concede, they're probably right. Considering that it was based on the Ford Focus platform, and has an all but identical ST engine, it ought to have been something special. The T5's claimed 0-62mph time was actually 0.1 second quicker than the Focus ST (6.7 secs versus 6.8).

But Volvo's chassis engineers (who were ham-fistedly making everything as safe, and as boring, as possible at the time) really did cock things up. The suspension has settings as soggy as a trifle, leaving the C30 T5 to wallow and understeer around corners, made all the worse by over-assisted steering.

Polestar position

There's another Polestar Chris likes...

Then Volvo's Mountune-like wing, Polestar, stepped in. Let's sidestep the barking mad but brilliant 405hp 4x4 C30, which sadly never made production. I'm referring to Polestar's rather more modest power upgrade for the T5. Remapping the ECU raised power by 20hp (up to as high as 250hp) and the torque by 36lb ft to 272lb ft. These were healthy figures for 2010, as were a 0.4sec quicker 0-62mph time of 6.3 seconds and a V-max of 149mph. It cost a mere £645, and didn't affect the warranty.

I recall driving the 250hp C30 Polestar and being quite taken aback by its bucking bronco nature. Not since the Fiat Abarth 130TC had I experienced so much torque steer in a car - with the possible exception of another icon, the 480ES Turbo. The chassis was completely overwhelmed by the torque. In fact, the mid-range pull was so strong that, on a wet road, the traction control light pretty much never stopped flashing.

But you know what? I had fantastic fun. It made the car - and me - feel alive. Knowing that a 'moment' might be coming up on virtually any corner if you hoofed the throttle really kept you on your toes. Pretty much every warm/hot hatch these days has some form of cornering brake control and a cleverer-than-thou diff - and as a result you never truly feel what the car's doing under you. The C30 T5 turns the clock back to a different era, when front-wheel drive cars very definitely had upper limits to the amount of power that could be fed through the front wheels. The C30 T5 exceeded them - with highly entertaining results.

Innocent pricing

Unique, stylish and safe in the best Volvo way

I reckon it's worth hunting a T5 down, although you'll struggle. Almost all C30s sold were diesels, and there's precisely one T5 on sale in the classifieds at the moment, up for £5,995.

According to my local Volvo dealer, you can still order a Polestar upgrade for the T5 (and indeed D5), priced at £830. Other similar remaps are available for less, but just for the cool of having that blue badge on the back, I reckon it's worth it.

Faulty but fab
Yes, I'm the first to concede that the C30 has a full quiver of faults. The rear seats are only accessible by Beth Tweddle. The all-glass tailgate is the smallest in the entire history of hatchbacks. And I've seen handbags with a more generous carrying capacity than the C30's boot.

It's very much a case of style over substance. But what style. Every time I see a C30 on the road, I think 'doesn't that look cool'? And every time I sit in ours, I admire the understated quality of its dashboard and - yes - that floating centre console.

Why Volvo never directly replaced the C30 after axing it in 2012, I'll never know. What could possibly replace the C30 in our garage? If you don't like Minis (and 'er indoors certainly doesn't), there's pretty much nowt out there with the cool vibe and charm that the C30 exudes. It's a genuine pleasure and, if truth be told, I don't actually feel guilty about it at all.

[anonymous-user]

The D5 is also a great car, Polestar will remap it to 205bhp and others to 225bhp+ and with a manual gearbox it'll get a genuine 45-50MPG if you're careful. All accompanied by a lot of very un-diesel turbo noises and 5 pot warble.

[anonymous-user]

rodericb said:

Yeah I think of those cars as the goatse car because of that huge opening.

Well that's dragged a horrifying image out of distant memory for me. Thanks....