Shed Of The Week: Mercedes S500

Yes the wheels look iffy and the ad is very shouty, but it's a V8 S-Class for £985!

Few cars of the modern era have been surrounded by as much folklore as the W140 Mercedes.

Despite the hyperbole, it's hard to overstate the impact it had when it was launched at Geneva in 1991. The spec was as big as the car and included stuff nobody had really seen in the mainstream before like double-glazed windows, self-closing doors and bootlid and a heating system that kept on heating even if you had to sit outside the Ritz for a bit with the engine turned off while your security men cleared the foyer of paparazzi.

Them rims is pimpin. Or something

Boy was it big, though. Bruno Sacco's design cleverly disguised the 140's vastness. See a picture of one with no reference points in the shot and you wouldn't think it especially large. That's an impression you'll soon forget when you park one in your garage and find you can't open the doors. Getting on for 17 feet long and six foot two wide, it crunched the scales at over two tonnes.

Despite all that it could be made to scamper along like a puppy. Airmatic air suspension wasn't deemed sufficiently developed to feature in the W140, but that didn't matter: conventional suspension (hydro-pneumatic at the rear) allied to the car's sheer bulk was more than up to the job of smashing the poxiest of roads into whimpering submission. You might have thought you saw holes in the Tarmac but the rest of your senses would convince you otherwise. British Library-spec soundproofing and thick slabs of metal ushered in a whole new era of refinement that you'll have to look long and hard to better in modern cars.

Of course it's a gamble - isn't that the point?

The car was built to beat everything, including as it turned out Daimler-Benz's chief engineer Wolfgang Peter who lost his job when the directors saw how much it was all costing. Customers were happy to pay 25 per cent on top of the old W126 price though. They knew what they were getting: the world's best luxury car.

Official production stopped in 1999, but not in India, where it continued to be built for another two years. Astonishingly, Mercedes built over 430,000 W140s. Hardly anyone bought them in the last couple of years of the run, but their loss could be your gain if this specimen doesn't come with a hidden sting.

The ad is a bit too frantic and even manages to talk itself down from £995 to £985 by the end, but in amongst all the yelling you'll see cheering phrases like 'two owners' and 'service history'. The pics show a car that's been slightly Stathamed by the addition of wrong 19in alloys (standard size was 16) and too-small tyres. In one way the gangsta look is understandable because the W140 has filled many a starring role in angry man gets revenge type movies like The Peacemaker and Enemy Of The State, not to mention The Transporter. We said not to mention The Transporter.

LIGHT GREY UNMARKED LEATHER TRIM

These cars run surprisingly well even with a 190hp 280 six cowering under the mighty bonnet, but the 315hp 5.0-litre V8 is by common consent the best all-round engine. It's pokier than the S420 and hardly any less fuel efficient. When new it took the car from 0-60 in 6.9sec and went on to a ridiculously relaxed (and limited) 155mph, handling far more securely than a car this humongous had any right to. Even the 15-22mpg fuel consumption wasn't too bad considering the primo limo luxury you were enjoying.

This car's newish tyres will keep your costs down between now and the January MOT. So will the functioning air-con, which we are told about on several occasions.

A machine polish on this one should bring out the quality of the paintwork but won't cover up the multiplicity of things that could go wrong underneath it. 1997 cars like this one suffered from leaky brake fluid hoses but that was covered in a recall. For once we're not going to go on with a great long list of possible problems. We're just going to say that this is one of those cars everyone should have a go in, and let the devil take the hindmost.

Obviously you really don't want those alloys, but for this money you can forgive a lot. If that big V8 is running right, and why would it not be, this is without question the most car (in every sense) you can get for your thousand.

Here's the ad. Put your ear plugs in.

GREAT VALUE S500 V8 / 2 OWNERS, PART EX TO CLEAR, HUGE S500 V8 SPEC, DRIVES WELL, LONG MOT , BLACK WITH FULL LIGHT GREY UNMARKED LEATHER TRIM., Upgrades - MET BLACK WITH UNMARKED LIGHT GREY LEATHER INTERIOR, 19 INCH AMG 5 SPOKE ALLOYS, MOT UNTIL JAN 2016, DRIVES WELL, LOADS OF BILLS AND RECIEPTS, JUST 2 OWNERS, MET BLACK, SERVICE HISTORY WITH ALL OLD MOT DATA TO PROVE SUCH LOW MILEAGE, MARCH 1997 MODEL, GOOD SERVICE HISTORY WITH LOADS OF BILLS AND INVOICES, ICE COLD AIR CONDITIONING, ALL HPI CLEAR, PART EX TO CLEAR SOLD AS SEEN DRIVEN AND TESTED, JUST HAD 4 NEW TYRES COSTING £700, AMG Alloy Wheels with Blue Black Multi-piece inset, ELECTRIC SUNROOF, GOOD S500 SPEC, A BARGAIN AT £995, NO OFFERS HERE READY TO DRIVE AWAY, FULLY LOADED WITH HUGE SPEC, AUTOMATIC 5 SPEED, JUST TAKEN IN PART EX, Electric Glass Sunroof, PICS TO FOLLOW TONIGHT WHEN IT ARRIVES IN, FREEZING COLD AIR CON, CD Changer in Boot - Six Disc, Electric Tilt Glass Sunroof, CD Changer in Boot (6 Disc), ELECTRIC GLASS SUNROOF, GOOD LEATHER INTERIOR, ELECTRIC SEATS, CLIMATE AIR CON, DOUBLE GLAZED WINDOWS, SOFT DOOR AND BOOT CLOSURE, CD CHANGER, ESP TRACTION CONTROL, POWER FOLD MIRRORS, REAR VANITY MIRRORS, REAR PRIVACY GLASS, GREAT S500 SPEC, Electronic Stability Programme (ESP), ICE COLD AIR CON,, 2 owners, Service history, Good bodywork, Grey Full leather interior - Excellent Condition, Tyre condition Good, Standard Features - Airbags, CD Player, Central locking, Electric door mirrors, Electric windows, Leather seats, Alloy wheels, Air conditioning, Height adjustable drivers seat, Remote central locking, Power steering, Cruise control, Traction control, Sunroof. SOLD AS SEEN DRIVEN AND TESTED, PART EX TO CLEAR. !!!!!!! FULLY LOADED , DRIVES WELL AND LONG MOT , HUGE S500 SPEC !!!!!!!!!!! ICE COLD WORKING AIR CON,, FULL DEALER FACILITIES, AA WARRANTY, FINANCE, PART EXCHANGE , DEBIT CREDIT CARD DEPOSITS EXCEPTED, £985 p/x to clear