Thursday 16th July 2015

Niche works if you can get it: PH Blog

From ardent cynic to happy victim, Dale's done something impulsive

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It's easy to be cynical about today's automotive 'niche' culture. The manufacturers' brochures and websites are burdened with a dozen new mix-and-match models every month. After a day driving the Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 - basically a cross between an Arabian Stallion and a hippo - I was feeling particularly down about it all. "Who actually buys these things?" I pondered.

280 reasons Dale felt he had to

I'm 'only' 35 years old, but my total lack of understanding for such a big new product made me feel a little out of touch. Like my dad listening to Eminem for the first time, I felt uncomfortable and bewildered that I would hate something that so many others obviously loved. And that feeling didn't improve when I pondered other such heinous 'niche' crimes as the Nissan Juke, BMW X4 and the utterly tragic 5 Series GT, all of which find a lot of customers despite what we might think about them.

If you want to point a finger, then I guess the rot started way back with the Ford Model T - 14 different body styles over 18 years? But in modern times it has to be the Germans who have really pushed this manifesto. After almost missing the boat many years ago, BMW finally joined the party with an E30 estate. And that was only after an employee took it upon himself to build the prototype with his own money and time.

But from there, the growth of the niche car was explosive. Production lines were optimised, shared platforms improved. Suddenly smaller volumes of car could still turn the same profit. And here I am, whinging about the world changing when actually I should be pretty damn happy about it. Because after being such a critic for so long, the niche car strategy just sucker-punched me good and proper. Yes, somebody deep inside the Volkswagen Group pulled the handle on the much-suspected MQB randomiserand it spat out a spec sheet for another variation on the rebadged Golf we've learned to both love and hate.

Orange bits yes, but no Performance Pack

Like a laser-guided bomb being fired through a first-storey window from 1,000 miles away, the video of the SEAT Leon Cupra ST 280 going sub-eight around the Nurburgring appeared in my social media feed, and I knew I had to have it. Fast estates are just, in my eyes, wonderful things. Niche or not. Audi RS2s, Volvo 850Rs .... these are the stuff of legend for a dog-owning, MTB-riding, father of two. So I just broke my own golden rule and bought a brand-new car from a main dealer.

There have never been more niche cars on the market than now, and for every nine people who despises them there'll be a 10th who literally cannot pull out his wallet quick enough. And, today, that was me.

Dale

[We checked with Dale and, no, he didn't get the much vaunted 'Sub8' Performance Pack. Why? Apparently it wasn't available with the deal offered, you could only have it with DSG and an aftermarket brake upgrade will - will - be cheaper. - Ed.]

[Fetchez la vache]

article said:

...a dog-owning, MTB-riding, father of two.

I'm one of them too. Is that why I want one of these as well?