Fancy signs and 'improved experience' of road works promised but why do we need them in the first place?
According to a press release sitting in my inbox for a couple of weeks now Highways England wants us to think differently about roadworks. Given I schlep up and down the M1 most weeks and, currently, there are 100-plus miles of 50-limited works going on over five sections between junctions 19 and 42 they've certainly given me plenty of time to ponder the worth of conversion to 'smart' motorway. You'll recall I've had
a rant about this before and am awaiting an invitation to come and spend some time in a control centre to see it from the operators' perspective. I'm still keen to do this.
A familiar sight to anyone using the M1
On the optimistic basis I can maintain 50mph where I would otherwise have been doing a steady 70 that's at least 35 minutes of additional thinking time to consider Highways England's appeal. Seemingly it wants roadworks to be more "intuitive" with a consistent look and feel. What, like ranks of cones aren't consistent enough? In detail this includes "enhanced roadside information including more real time journey information both ahead of and within the roadworks" and "ensuring signage for customers is easy to distinguish from signage aimed at road workers." Notice that word 'customers' in there? Interesting linguistic slip. Not 'drivers', 'customers'. A hint at the real reason for all those gantries and cameras perhaps? Again, we're given plenty of time to concoct conspiracy theories as we enjoy the new signs delivering platitudes like 'Let's all get home safely!', vital driving tips like 'check your fuel!' and jolly pictures of folk in dayglo orange smiling and waving. While stuck for 30 miles in an artic's blind spot, boxed in by lobotomised fellow drivers sitting petrified with the cruise control on 49mph.
I could take all this if I really thought this incredible level of disruption spread over significant sections of the motorway network for years on end really is going to make things better. Rather than pointing toward the real future of ever more arbitrary speed regulation and further reliance on camera-based traffic law enforcement in place of cops on patrol. You could probably afford to employ a few more of those for a fraction of the £11bn invested in this five-year plan. Ever seen a camera successfully deal with a drunk driver, compulsive texter, a tailgater, random brake checker or any of the other common sights on your average motorway? Nope.
Aaaand out come the cones again
It's deeply depressing. Not so long ago you could plan your journey and, if you so wished, travel at night when the roads were quiet and bank on making some progress. I'm not talking about anything daft. Just the ability to do a steady 70 would be a dream. But when all those gantries are in place and the cameras are active who's to say a midnight run up a deserted M1 wouldn't be restricted to 50 the whole distance, apparently on the whim of an operator in a control room miles away. When they discussed lowering a section of the M1 to a 60mph limit they held a proper public consultation and 90-odd per cent of those who responded told them where to stick it. Once the gantries are active the same will be achievable at the flick of a switch and we won't have right of reply this time.
I've been trying to think why all this time and money really needs to be spent. And then the other morning it was demonstrated to me. Six in the morning, the evening's roadworks are being cleared and three lanes that were funnelled into one are being reopened by brave folk manhandling cones out of the way protected by nothing more than a slow moving truck with a big blue arrow on the back. Folk are obediently merging into turn ahead of this very real 'workforce in road' situation. And here he comes flying up lane three, standing his Audi (it had to be didn't it...) on its nose as he swerves round the chaps in orange and their vehicle before nailing it up the now cleared motorway beyond.
Slowed to a crawl by a few key strokes - bah!
So I don't actually blame Highways England. I have no problem with the folk in flouro doing the work. I pin all my considerable hatred of this situation on this plonker. If they didn't have to plan roadworks and remote controlled motorways around the lowest common denominator of mouth breathers like him we could all get around much more easily. And I'd be getting home half an hour earlier than I currently do.
Forget cameras. Install frickin' lasers capable of vapourising a car in one blast on the gantries. Then I really WILL want a go in that control room...
Dan
[Photos: Highways England, via Flickr]
k all, no-ones there!