Shed of the Week: Volvo V70

A powerful five-cylinder turbo, some remedial work already done and it comes pre-dented too!

No news is good news, they say. But that doesn't mean that all news is bad news.

We're talking about the 'news' that sometimes comes up on car info screens. Sensors are meant to tell you about malfunctioning parts elsewhere in the car, but like the miserable snivelling snitchers that they are, they never own up when they're malfunctioning themselves. As a result, more than a few of the messages that ping up on ye olde screenes turn out to be porky pies.

Now this looks jolly comfy

Perhaps we need sensors for the sensors. Shed's preference is for no electronic sensors at all. He prefers to rely on the ones supplied to him as original equipment: his ears, hands and backside.

Be that as it may, if you're prepared to treat its diagnostic bleatings with the disbelieving contempt they deserve, this week's Volvo V70 Shed has much to commend it.

It's not a T5, but don't let that worry you: with 200 horsepower from its 2.4-litre turbo five-pot and a strong all-wheel drive system, a 2.4T AWD S is never going to short change you on performance or ability.

We'd go further and vouchsafe that, if the luck is with you, this could be another early candidate for 2016 Shed of the Year. Look at what you get. Four-wheel traction, supremely comfortable leather seating, a brilliant sound system and enough room to shift the entire Liberal Democrat Parliamentary party (with three lying down in the back). This is a torquey, characterful drive that should serve you well for a long time to come. And all without the gawky looks of the Cross Country.

The Shed is a one-owner car with plenty of headroom in its mileage. 112,000 is very low for an '02 V70. Admittedly it looks like the owner has, well, owned it, but he's up front about the bumps and scrapes in the advert. Rather than scorning it for its battle scars, think of it as pre-dented for your motoring convenience. They did it so you don't have to, that sort of thing. Or if you do, it won't really matter.

"Some scrapes from Devon and Cornwall lanes"

Corrosion is neither mentioned nor evident in the pics. The back brakes have been recently done, which probably accounts for at least half the £700 asking price. Anything else you should be looking out for?

Yes. The Geartronic transmission. Once again your good old sensor might pop his little head up and suggest something like 'Transmission Service Required'. You might notice late upshifts, delayed power take ups from a trailing throttle, revs that seem a bit high and traffic creep that seems a mite insistent.

The slow take up issue could be a function of the trans going into neutral when the car is slowing to a halt, a Volvo feature designed to cut fuel use and general wear and tear. That function can be disabled, a good idea if you have ever coasted into a roundabout in a V70 and watched in horror as an artic bears down on you while you await the restoration of forward progress.

Excessive lag and shunt on the move could be an indicator of something rather worse though. Error codes may suggest a mechanical fault in the 'box. It could just as easily be software-related, but Geartonic transmission valve bodies are known for failing at six-figure mileages and you can be looking at a four-figure fix cost there.

What more do you need for £700?

Sometimes, Geartronic ailments can be remedied at relatively low cost either through the application of software, having the correct amount of gearbox fluid on board or the replacement of a few solenoids. If you're unlucky, however, Volvo will quote you three grand or so for a new 'box.

If this is all starting to sound like a financial accident waiting to happen, there is some good news. The throttle control module (or Electronic Throttle Module, to give it its proper name) is another known problem. Even Volvo admitted they wouldn't last beyond 100,000 miles. The symptom of failure is limited throttle movement which triggers the ECU into limp-home mode. Cleaning the clag out of the ETM might buy you a bit more time, but there's nowt to worry about here as this item has already been replaced - again, a major saving for the next owner.

If that person happens to be you, all you'll need is a bucket and sponge, a square of gaffer tape on the info screen and a gurt big hairy beast to sit in the back. If you don't have your own Mrs Shed, a labradoodle will do.

Here is the ad.

Only 112,000 miles, well maintained, generally good condition with some corner scrapes (from Cornwall & Devon lanes!), small dent in rear passenger door. Warning system shows 'emission system service required', diagnosed by garage as faulty sensor, emissions well within the mot limits. Also sometimes shows 'engine system service required', which again is faulty sensor, the throttle control module was replaced last year, and it's shown this sporadically ever since.. Rear brake discs & calipers replaced last year. Great stereo, CD multi changer, full leather, cruise control etc. Rear seats removable, great load carrier 12 months MOT