I was ready on the BMW stand at Geneva in good time, late mission accepted to drive a new
M4Competition Pack back from the show to the UK. I had a cash float for fuel and tolls. All I was missing was my car. A couple of hours passed. I looked nervously at the interesting route I'd planned via German Autobahn, the 2100h ferry departure from Rotterdam and the narrowing time contingency should I hit traffic.
Yes, they're not the correct wheels...
No criticism of the colleagues I was taking the car over from; Geneva traffic can be a nightmare but finally the call came, an improvised handover outside the airport was arranged and I was off through the accessories hall to meet the car. Though we'd timed the rendezvous to perfection the Swiss police were already on the scene and it was a case of hurried exchange of pleasantries and a rolling start while still removing coat and plugging in essentials like phone, nav and - oh yes - seatbelt.
Direct route arrival time? 1952h. Ferry loading time? Not specified but probably about the same. This was going to be close.
Dreams of a chilled drive evaporating I simply pointed the car north into the Jura up what looked like a promisingly squiggly piece of road. In the rushed handover I'd clocked the car didn't have the trademark Competition Pack 20s, instead wearing some plain five-spokes and winter tyres. In white it looked more like a 420d but, given the fussy styling of the new wheels, perhaps the better for it. They better suited the conditions too, the comedy value of getting tyre squeal on standing water and (mainly) comedy low-speed under-into-oversteer around the hairpins an entertaining get-to-know-you with the car. Saying that with 12,000 miles in a regular M4 it wasn't taking long.
... but winter tyres help in weather like this!
Emerging in Poligny - home of Comte, cheese fans! - I was on familiar ground again, hitting the peage towards Dijon. Having scaled back my Autobahn ambitions my main goal was to avoid Brussels. So I planned in a diversion via Luxembourg and the quiet squirt north that bypasses Prum (where, from the other direction, I turn off for the 'ring), crosses the Belgian border and then skirts Spa. Before that I was able to finally stretch the BMW's legs a little, the novelty of legally cruising at 120mph-plus only offset by the plunging fuel needle and worries about whether I'd have time for a splash and dash. Sod it. Having noted the 149mph speed restriction for the winter tyres I conducted a scientific test and established the 155mph limiter on the Competition Pack car is ... relaxed. A teasing taste of what I'd missed out on with my long-termer back in the UK. That being a prison sentence, mainly.
After snow in France and sunshine in Germany the predictable happened as soon as I hit Belgium, weather and driving standards taking a dramatic turn for the worse. At least it's dependable, the woeful lack of drainage on Belgian motorways making line markings invisible and the spray reducing visibility to about five metres. Or at least double the distance your average Belgian driver leaves. Before making an erratic lane change for no apparent reason. And then indicating his intentions afterwards.
More on just what a Competition Pack is like soon
Three tanks of fuel, a past-its-sell-by tuna baton and a huge bag of cheesy bugle crisps later, I arrived at Rotterdam's Europort bang on the predicted time after passing the astounding Blade Runner-esque landscape on the final approach. "You hit some traffic or something?" smirked the Dutch customs official, tempted out of his hut long after he thought he'd checked his last passport for the Hull crossing that evening. A Stella on a ferry never tasted so good...
And the car? More on this shortly. But for all the stress a 1,000km, to-the-wire dash across Europe in a fast car most definitely still has the capacity to thrill. Next time I'll definitely avoid Belgium though.
Dan
Follow the route here.
