Sunday 20th March 2016

Range Rover Sport SVR: PH Fleet

Guilty as (not) charged, the SVR falls flat

---

After all the excitement of the rallycross adventures you might not be too surprised to see the SVR looking a little down on its haunches.

The Geneva show and - whisper it - spells in another press car or two actually left the SVR parked round the back of my house, sulking on its 'load height' suspension. It then paid me back spectacularly by showing absolutely no interest in unlocking on the blipper. Shrugging I opened the fob, got the emergency key out, levered off the cover off the door handle unlocked it manually.

Alarm still works then.

Wincing as the cacophony echoed off neighbours' walls I tried firing it up. Nope. Dead. Alarm still blaring I desperately pondered my options. I opened the bonnet, the battery conspicuously absent in a bay packed full of supercharged V8 and ridiculous £1,500 optional carbon engine cover. Of course it's in the boot. The boot I can't access because the power-operated tailgate won't open. I know, I'll check the manual to see if there are any jumping tips. Oh no, can't open the glovebox either because that's on an electric switch. Alarm's still going strong though...

Cursing and desperate I clambered into the back, folded the seat down and attempted to lift the boot floor to access the battery. To find this is hinged from the front edge and held in place by the bootlid I couldn't open. By now I was really feeling for my neighbours. And deaf.

I ran inside to get the little jump pack thing I'd nicked off James for starting the Mazda, not exactly hopeful it'd have the power to turn a 5.0-litre V8. With some, cough, persuasion I managed to access the boot compartment, and squeezed myself below various high-vis vests, the floor panel and assorted baby paraphernalia. Jump pack connected I extracted myself, waved the fob near the steering column, pressed the start button and ... no way! ... yes, the little jump pack had worked. Alarm noise now replaced by angry V8. Neighbours probably not much happier.

The interior looked like it had been ransacked and my footprints were all over the upholstery but at least the engine was turning. I thought it best I moved the car somewhere else before pondering what to do next.

Turned out starting the beast was only the beginning of the problem. Having driven round to get some charge back in the battery I parked back up, went to lock it and ... oh. I now had Britain's most stolen car outside my house. And was unable to lock it. It was now 4:30pm and I was due to go away for a couple of days the next morning. Credit to my local dealer Copley Land Rover then; after putting in a call they said get down here now, plugged it into their diagnostic system, performed what their man described as a 'hard reset' (the 'IT solution' seems to work for Range Rovers too) for battery and key and all was good. All this as they were preparing to pack up for the day, no fuss, no charge. Thanks chaps.

I don't lay blame with the car really; turning over a big engine after a couple of weeks stationary in cold weather is probably asking a lot of any battery. And after a couple of runs up and down the M1 it should be back to full strength. I'll be thinking carefully if I'm ever leaving the Sport in an airport car park or similar though. And perhaps get some longer leads for the jump pack to spare the panicked caving expedition behind the back seat if things do fall flat.

---

FACT SHEET
Car: Range Rover SVR
Run by: Dan
On fleet since: November 2015
Mileage: 9,463
List price new: £106,635 (Basic list of £95,150 plus £450 for Solar Attenuating Windscreen with Laminated Hydrophobic Front, Rear Door and Quarter Light Glass, £600 for 8 inch High Resolution Touch-screen with Dual-View (includes one set of WhiteFire headphones), £4,000 for Meridian Signature Reference Audio System (1700W) with radio and single slot CD player, MP3 disc, file compatibility and conversation assist with 23 speakers and subwoofer, Contrast Painted Roof - Santorini Black, Sliding Panoramic Roof including Powered Blind, £185 for Adjustable, Auto-dimming, Heated, Powerfold Memory Exterior Mirrors with Approach Lamps (approach lamps include illuminated Range Rover graphic), £700 for Surround Camera System with Towing Assist, £750 for Wade SensingTM with Blind Spot Monitoring with Closing Vehicle Sensing and Reverse Traffic Detection, £600 for Traffic Sign Recognition and Lane Departure Warning, £1,000 for Head Up Display, £900 for Park Assist featuring Parallel Park, Parking Exit, Perpendicular Parking and 360° Park Distance Control, £1,500 for SVR Carbon Fibre Engine Cover and £800 for Digital TV)
Last month at a glance: SVR pays Dan back for a lack of use with a dead battery

Previous reports:
Sport SVR makes an instant splash on the PH Fleet
Get me to the church on time
No soggy bottom for Dan, despite Christmas flooding

[RobGT81]

You can jump it from under the bonnet, there's handy connections just for the eventuality.

Right hand side of the engine bay, + is under a red cap, - is just a pole sticking out of the body.

You could always climb into the boot though

Edited by RobGT81 on Tuesday 15th March 10:40