Shed of the Week: London Taxi (!)

Well who could pass up this kind of opportunity?

Welcome, at long last you may say, to the first London taxi ever to make it into SOTW.

The 2.7-litre Nissan diesel-powered TX1 was introduced in 1997 by London Taxis International as a replacement for the game old FX4. About two years after our Shed was built, the TX1 was itself replaced by the TXII, basically the same blobby lump as before but this time shoved reluctantly along by the Duratorq motor that normally lurked under the bonnet of a Transit or Landie Defender.

"Where to?"

What are the advantages of 'doing a Stephen Fry' and driving a taxi as a private individual? Well, taxis carry a lot of people, able-bodied or otherwise, thanks to the excellent access for most things up to and including wheelchairs. If you're driving a noisy crew of snotty kids to the footy pitch or bowling alley, you can cut them out of your short-term life by sliding the partition across and tuning in to the mournful lowing of your wildebeeste engine as it busts a gut to generate not many horsepower.

The high driving position gives you a lovely view of all the plebs you're shouting at to get aht the bleedin way, and you can turn around on a sixpence, as long as it's a comedy sixpence measuring 25 feet across - a dimension determined by the roundabout at the entrance of the Savoy Hotel.

Other pluses? If you live in a city, other taxi drivers will let you out of side streets. Then, as a bonus, they will feel cheated and angry when they peer through the noxious cloud of black smoke to see the back end of your cab not bearing a valid PSV plate.

Expecting noisy and slow? Good...

There will be disadvantages. Technically speaking it's illegal to shout "taxi" in the street, but most people aren't aware of that law, especially when they're drunk, so you will be hailed in the street a lot, and not always in a nice way. You probably wouldn't want to go out for a drive in too many British city centres after 11pm.

Another obscure law that might haunt you is the Town Police Clauses Act of 1847 which permits any bystander to urinate on a London taxi's nearside rear wheel as long as the driver's right hand is touching the cab. It comes as something of a relief to hear that punters are not allowed to hail a cab if they are suffering from bubonic plague. Indeed, anyone with a notifiable disease is obliged to inform the driver under the 1984 Public Health Act. If the driver still elects to take the fare, he must notify the authorities and disinfect the cab before taking another one.

Anyone who has seen a taxi straining along the M4 heading west from Heathrow will know that they are not ideal for any long journey, unless you like the sound of an impending mechanical hernia or can manage to find a gullible tourist to pay for the fuel. And, although the TX1 is diesel-powered, don't go expecting 21st century fuel consumption figures. If it starts with a 3, be happy with that.

Look at the space!

Nearly half a million miles on the clock may seem like a lot, and let's be honest it is, but TX1s have been known to knock off double that with no bother. Yes, you'll have replaced many if not most parts along the way, so it would definitely be a case of Trigger's broom, but bits are cheap, a lot of the body panels simply bolt on and off, and the cost of servicing is low. So is insurance, and the engine is as near unburstable as it gets.

Best of all, private taxi ownership does not include wasting two or three years of your life doing The Knowledge, an odd requirement for London taxi drivers given the easy availability of sat-navs dahn Halfords for three score or less.

So, there we have it, an alternative that's about as non-alternative as it gets, mechanically speaking. As tough as old boots, and probably about as smelly.

Here's the ad.

JUST BEEN MOT, LOOKS SMART AND DRIVES WELL, HAS BEEN CONVERTED TO 7 SEATS IN ALL, 2 FRONT PASSENGER SEATS AND 5 IN REAR , THIS IS 16 YEARS OLD SO PLEASE BEAR THAT IN MIND WHEN VIEWING,, Upgrades - SOLD AS SEEN DRIVEN AND TESTED., BLACK, RECENT MOT, NEW BATTERY, WHEEL CHAIR ACCESS WITH RAMP, ALL HPI CLEAR, TIDY AND CLEAN, Standard Features - Electric windows, Power steering. 7 seats, PLEASE REMBER THIS IS 16 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT STILL IN GOOD ORDER, LOOKS VERY SMART, GREAT ADVERTISING TOOL,, FULL DEALER FACILITIES, AA WARRANTY, FINANCE, PART EXCHANGE , DEBIT CREDIT CARD DEPOSITS EXCEPTED, £985