Tuesday 10th May 2016

Alfa Romeo Stelvio SUV spy shots

And the award for the ugliest test mule ever goes to...

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'Alfa Romeo to build SUV' probably won't be the most surprising news you've heard of late. Full disclosure and all that, we don't really have a whole lot of info to share on it either.

Nope, motivations for writing a few words on it basically stem from wanting to post these pictures of perhaps the most spectacular example of fuglified test mule camo ever. There are two schools of thought when it comes to this really; the hiding in plain sight route taken by Mercedes with the camo-free 'short-wheelbase' S-Class Coupe that may or may not be hiding the next generation SL.

Or Alfa Romeo's example with this beastie, which seems to have been swaddled in (still full) bin bags from out the back of the factory canteen, wrapped in enough Gaffa tape to reach from Milan to the Nurburgring test venue and then 'gifted' a weird box-like structure on the back for good measure. The improvised hub caps are especially last minute/half arsed even by the standards of the rest of the ensemble. All that effort and it does nothing to conceal a sloped tailgate and proportions from the X4/GLE Coupe/F-Pace end of the sporty SUV spectrum. Or a Giulia-influenced front end of squinty lights either side of the traditional heart-shaped Alfa grille. All as you'd expect really.

So that's it really. Alfa Romeo to make SUV. And it can only look better than this.

[Photos: S. Baldauf/SB-Medien]

[Evilex]

Hmm.
Uglier than a Multipla! That takes some doing.

And I'm going to take issue with the name, too.
The Stelvio is renowned for being full of er... Bendy bits.
Bendy bits are not where SUVs traditionally excel. Maybe it should be named after something it might have a chance at being useful for?