Unwinnable parking prang

[numtumfutunch]

To set the scene I am sat in a parking bay in town earlier tonight waiting to collect a passenger
Its dark and I have the radio on but the rest of the car is in black out

I am outside a busy pub and there are 10-15 people outside smoking and drinking
Its past 10pm and most seem to be well merry

A man in a wheelchair appears from the opposite footpath and manoeuvres himself next to the drivers door of the newish Vauxhall parked in front of me
He transfers himself from chair to drivers seat and then folds his wheelchair and puts it in the car next to him

And then it gets "interesting"

He starts the car, puts the lights on and then reverses directly into me Parisien style at low speed
Im initially shocked he could be so clumsy and as Im wondering how to react he then snatches 1st and goes forwards into the car ahead of him with a little right steering lock but not enough to clear it and manages to clout it so hard he sets its alarm off

At this point I am now starting to react and as his reversing lights go on again I turn my headlights on and start blowing my horn
This seems to have the desired effect as he now reverses back a bit more carefully before lining up his escape from the parking bay

There is a brief hiatus when I could jump out of the car and confront him
Unfortunately the 15 pissed up smokers next to us have eventually realised something is kicking off

My immediate options at the time were limited by the fact that I reckoned any polite chat let alone gratuitous violence would likely find its way onto Youtube assuming a drunk and misguided hero didnt steam in and give me a pasting for shouting at a disabled bloke. I also computed that a 999 call wouldnt look good and I would probably find myself having to do a lot of explaining

So on balance I decided to just just sit here fuming whilst he drove off

My bumper is scratched. The car is 7y old and thats not a disaster but its not the point

It all sounds a bit like a scene from a Ricky Gervais script
Would anybody really have done anything different?