Finally time to book myself in for assessment
Discussion
A few weeks back, we spotted some Top Trumps packs for sale at ASDA (or somewhere like that). Excitedly, two packs were purchased for our 7yr old twin boys, and 4yr old boy to play with and learn the joys of the card-based game. One was cars, the other football. They love both.
Imagine my horror to discover they're total s
te! The football ones are boring and predictable, and the car ones....they're the worst. The figures, specs, ratings....all over the place. For example, one of the categories is 'Innovation', for which a Lexus LFA scores 2.......out of ten. Right, I see.
So then my kids tell me one of their kiddie mates over the field has been making his own Top Trumps. He's doing monsters, or some kind of fantasy creatures fighting game thing, but it gives me an idea! I'll make some Top Trumps for the boys, with proper cars, proper specs and no bullst.
And then....I thought, "Hey, I could include some of our own cars for a giggle!"
.........and then I thought "Hey, we've owned enough cars over the years to just make a complete set! Throw in a couple of cars other members of the family have owned, and boom! A full pack! Ended up with 50 cards in total:
Looks a bit sad to most people.....and it probably is, but hey, I enjoyed sitting down with the kids and spending some time making them, and they seem to enjoy playing with them. We've got a right mix in there; Austin A40, Honda Prelude, Ford S-Max, TVR Tamora...loads. And any car can beat any other car, because there's something they're all good at. Apart from the Lancia HPE....that seems to be a bit of a dud when it comes to Top Trumps!
Now the level of sadness really ramps up when I tell you that I'm recording all the results of all the games, and in 3 months time or whatever, we'll see which car won it. We're taking bets on it with the kids, and whoever wins gets to chose a day out for us all.
And sadness level 3 is achieved when I tell you that I've already crunched all the numbers, and figured out what the strongest and weakest cards are.
So yeah, I'm ready for the straight jacket!
Imagine my horror to discover they're total s
te! The football ones are boring and predictable, and the car ones....they're the worst. The figures, specs, ratings....all over the place. For example, one of the categories is 'Innovation', for which a Lexus LFA scores 2.......out of ten. Right, I see.So then my kids tell me one of their kiddie mates over the field has been making his own Top Trumps. He's doing monsters, or some kind of fantasy creatures fighting game thing, but it gives me an idea! I'll make some Top Trumps for the boys, with proper cars, proper specs and no bulls
t.And then....I thought, "Hey, I could include some of our own cars for a giggle!"
.........and then I thought "Hey, we've owned enough cars over the years to just make a complete set! Throw in a couple of cars other members of the family have owned, and boom! A full pack! Ended up with 50 cards in total:
Looks a bit sad to most people.....and it probably is, but hey, I enjoyed sitting down with the kids and spending some time making them, and they seem to enjoy playing with them. We've got a right mix in there; Austin A40, Honda Prelude, Ford S-Max, TVR Tamora...loads. And any car can beat any other car, because there's something they're all good at. Apart from the Lancia HPE....that seems to be a bit of a dud when it comes to Top Trumps!
Now the level of sadness really ramps up when I tell you that I'm recording all the results of all the games, and in 3 months time or whatever, we'll see which car won it. We're taking bets on it with the kids, and whoever wins gets to chose a day out for us all.
And sadness level 3 is achieved when I tell you that I've already crunched all the numbers, and figured out what the strongest and weakest cards are.
So yeah, I'm ready for the straight jacket!
Jim AK said:
Mrs Jim AK found a pack of these from the 80's last year, her brothers apparently.
We played them with our 7 year old daughter driving to our holiday.
I wiped the floor with them both!!!
Some would question the morals of destroying your own 7 yr old daughter at a game you have a clear advantage at.We played them with our 7 year old daughter driving to our holiday.
I wiped the floor with them both!!!
Not me. A win's a win!
Blayney said:
This is fantastic!
Thanks 
Darryl247W said:
Great idea. Well done that man. You need a Ferrari Daytona as that beat everything in my Top Teumps set.
I wish someone in my family owned a Ferrari Daytona!Spumfry said:
Top work, genuine lol at 'Mummy' on the Nova card - you'll have to keep that feature when you produce them commercially.
Ha! Noted - you'll have to keep that feature when you produce them commercially. 
danp said:
Nice work! Which wins - a low or high weight?
In what world would high weight be better? Ram raider trumps? ScoobyChris said:
I like that a lot. I remember playing Top Trumps with my Gran in the 80s (a quick look on ebay suggests it was the Formula Cars pack) and having "real world" cars in the pack would have been the icing on the cake for me. 
Chris
They did two real world cars packs. Me and my brother used to play them a lot. Had hot hatches in, plus an XM 24V which I would have gotten excited over if I wasn't pre-pubescent!Chris
Rickyy said:
Ah, Top Trumps. 7 year old me used to get so frustrated trying to explain to my classmates that a 0-60 time of 5.1s beats 14.6s!
Great idea, the kids will love it!
My 7yr olds slip up every now and then. Friday night one of them goes "MPG......21!" His brother was holding a Pug 106 diesel Great idea, the kids will love it!
FakeConcern said:
What is Top Trumps?
Outrageous!Matt UK said:
Mate that is awesome, great job!
As an added bonus your kids will properly treasure something like this long after all the crappy shop bought stuff gets handed down / binned.
The only toys I still have from my childhood are some simply little mechanical models my granddad made me out of plywood and scrap metal.
Hopefully, yeah. I'm always having ideas about making stuff for them, or building stuff (we all planned to build a small hovercraft using a lawnmower engine last year) but none of these things ever happen. For once, even though small, this one did!As an added bonus your kids will properly treasure something like this long after all the crappy shop bought stuff gets handed down / binned.
The only toys I still have from my childhood are some simply little mechanical models my granddad made me out of plywood and scrap metal.
S10GTA said:
macky17 said:
An ex-girlfriend pack would be awesome...
His wouldn't.... :-D A few of them would have been, so long as mental state or personality weren't taken into account.
Ilovejapcrap said:
brilliant please list what cars you have done so far
There are 50 cars in there, and I'm in the process of adding ten more (as requested by the kids). I've got the list at home, but I know that so far the car that has won the highest number of rounds over 4 games is an MG ZS 120, followed by my current AX GT. My Saab 9-3 was found on the floor after the last game, so it's not doing too well
SonicShadow said:
Kitchski said:
Looks a bit sad to most people.....and it probably is, but hey, I enjoyed sitting down with the kids and spending some time making them, and they seem to enjoy playing with them. We've got a right mix in there; Austin A40, Honda Prelude, Ford S-Max, TVR Tamora...loads. And any car can beat any other car, because there's something they're all good at. Apart from the Lancia HPE....that seems to be a bit of a dud when it comes to Top Trumps!
Now the level of sadness really ramps up when I tell you that I'm recording all the results of all the games, and in 3 months time or whatever, we'll see which car won it. We're taking bets on it with the kids, and whoever wins gets to chose a day out for us all.
And sadness level 3 is achieved when I tell you that I've already crunched all the numbers, and figured out what the strongest and weakest cards are.
So yeah, I'm ready for the straight jacket!
And you're also going to purchase the winning car for as close to shed money as possible, right? Now the level of sadness really ramps up when I tell you that I'm recording all the results of all the games, and in 3 months time or whatever, we'll see which car won it. We're taking bets on it with the kids, and whoever wins gets to chose a day out for us all.
And sadness level 3 is achieved when I tell you that I've already crunched all the numbers, and figured out what the strongest and weakest cards are.
So yeah, I'm ready for the straight jacket!
SturdyHSV said:
You think that's said? A friend and I actually did this, during break time at school, when I was 7 
Had to make the 'cards' by folding up an A4 sheet to give them some thickness
The pictures were cut out of Top Marques or Auto Trader and stuck on with Prit Stick
Text was written on with a biro
Sellotape used to keep the A4 folded
Stats taken either from our already encyclopedic knowledge or, the back of a Top Gear magazine where they used to list lots of this stuff
"Back in my day..." etc.
I didn't steal your idea, honest Had to make the 'cards' by folding up an A4 sheet to give them some thickness
The pictures were cut out of Top Marques or Auto Trader and stuck on with Prit Stick
Text was written on with a biro
Sellotape used to keep the A4 folded
Stats taken either from our already encyclopedic knowledge or, the back of a Top Gear magazine where they used to list lots of this stuff
"Back in my day..." etc.
brrapp said:
How would you narrow it down to 50 though?
OP, in what world would an Austin A40 beat a Lancia HPE? In every category?
Easily narrow it down to 50 OP, in what world would an Austin A40 beat a Lancia HPE? In every category?
More like 20, but then I've been with the same one over 10 years 
An A40 can't beat a HPE in every category, that's the point. Every car has a chance to beat every other car. HPE wins hands down on performance, but the A40 is lighter, and the tax is free.
Funny you picked the HPE, as it's proven to be the dud of the pack. It's quite hard to win anything with it, as there's nothing it's especially good at. It's not bad either, it's just ok at everything. At least with a Marina you can go for the free tax option each time, though I like to live dangerously, so I go with boot size or something
The worst cars in it so far (in terms of playing the game) are the HPE, Toyota MR2 (mk2 and mk3) and a Vauxhall Tigra tinny top thing. None of them excel at anything, though the mk2 MR2 was mine and I quite liked it.
Here are the results after 4 games played. The number denotes the number of times that car has won (we're teaching the kids what tallying is!):
geek table said:
11 2003 MG ZS 120 Atomix
10 1989 Citroen AX GT
10 1995 TVR Chimaera 400
10 1989 TVR S
10 2004 Citroen Xsara Picasso (remapped - honest!)
9 2015 Skoda Fabia 1.2
9 2003 Audi S3
8 2000 Ford Mondeo ST200
8 2002 Alfa Romeo 156 GTA
8 1973 Hillman Imp (not exactly original!)
8 1990 Vauxhall Nova 1.4 SR
8 1990 Citroen BX 16 Valve
7 2006 Ford S-Max 2.5T Titanium (technically the best card in the pack)
7 2002 MG TF 160
7 2003 TVR Tamora
7 1990 Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo 2+2
7 1993 Toyota Supra 3.0 Auto
7 1992 Citroen AX GTi
6 2005 Saab 9-3 1.8t Vector Sport Hirsch stage 1 (technically 2nd strongest card in pack)
6 1993 Nissan Primera 2.0e GT
6 2007 Alfa Romeo GT 1.9JTD MJet
6 2005 Audi TT 3.2 Quattro DSG Roadster
6 2009 Mazda 3MPS
6 19oldsomething Austin A40
6 2003 RenaultSport Clio 172
6 2004 Audi TT 3.2 Quattro DSG Coupe
6 2005 Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
6 1989 Citroen BX14 RE
6 1985 Citroen BX19 GT
5 1982 Ford Escort XR3
5 1986 Honda Prelude 2.0i - 16
5 1999 Citroen Saxo VTR (16v engine)
5 1999 Citroen Saxo VTR (8v engine)
5 2001 MG ZS 180
4 1996 Peugeot 106 1.5D
4 1973 Morris Marina 1.8L
4 2005 Peugeot 206 GTi
4 1991 VW Polo 1.3CL
4 1993 Citroen ZX 16V
4 2001 Ford Fiesta Zetec-S
4 1990 Toyota MR2 2.0 16v
3 2003 Toyota MR2
3 1983 Citroen BX 16 TRS
3 1999 Alfa Romeo 156 2.5 V6
3 1999 Ford Puma Millenium
3 1984 Ford Sierra XR4i
3 1997 Citroen Xantia Activa
2 1993 Peugeot 106 Rallye
2 1996 VW Golf GTi mk3 Anniversary
1 1981 Lancia HPE 2000ie
10 1989 Citroen AX GT
10 1995 TVR Chimaera 400
10 1989 TVR S
10 2004 Citroen Xsara Picasso (remapped - honest!)
9 2015 Skoda Fabia 1.2
9 2003 Audi S3
8 2000 Ford Mondeo ST200
8 2002 Alfa Romeo 156 GTA
8 1973 Hillman Imp (not exactly original!)
8 1990 Vauxhall Nova 1.4 SR
8 1990 Citroen BX 16 Valve
7 2006 Ford S-Max 2.5T Titanium (technically the best card in the pack)
7 2002 MG TF 160
7 2003 TVR Tamora
7 1990 Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo 2+2
7 1993 Toyota Supra 3.0 Auto
7 1992 Citroen AX GTi
6 2005 Saab 9-3 1.8t Vector Sport Hirsch stage 1 (technically 2nd strongest card in pack)
6 1993 Nissan Primera 2.0e GT
6 2007 Alfa Romeo GT 1.9JTD MJet
6 2005 Audi TT 3.2 Quattro DSG Roadster
6 2009 Mazda 3MPS
6 19oldsomething Austin A40
6 2003 RenaultSport Clio 172
6 2004 Audi TT 3.2 Quattro DSG Coupe
6 2005 Vauxhall Tigra 1.8
6 1989 Citroen BX14 RE
6 1985 Citroen BX19 GT
5 1982 Ford Escort XR3
5 1986 Honda Prelude 2.0i - 16
5 1999 Citroen Saxo VTR (16v engine)
5 1999 Citroen Saxo VTR (8v engine)
5 2001 MG ZS 180
4 1996 Peugeot 106 1.5D
4 1973 Morris Marina 1.8L
4 2005 Peugeot 206 GTi
4 1991 VW Polo 1.3CL
4 1993 Citroen ZX 16V
4 2001 Ford Fiesta Zetec-S
4 1990 Toyota MR2 2.0 16v
3 2003 Toyota MR2
3 1983 Citroen BX 16 TRS
3 1999 Alfa Romeo 156 2.5 V6
3 1999 Ford Puma Millenium
3 1984 Ford Sierra XR4i
3 1997 Citroen Xantia Activa
2 1993 Peugeot 106 Rallye
2 1996 VW Golf GTi mk3 Anniversary
1 1981 Lancia HPE 2000ie
Had a laugh this morning over the Chod Trumps (as they've now been named).
Got on Twitter (don't do that very often) and decided to share my creation with James May. You know, for attention and all that. I might have slagged off the current Top Trumps slightly, but I didn't expect them to ask me about my problems!
https://twitter.com/RichardKitchen7/status/7712601...
Got on Twitter (don't do that very often) and decided to share my creation with James May. You know, for attention and all that. I might have slagged off the current Top Trumps slightly, but I didn't expect them to ask me about my problems!
https://twitter.com/RichardKitchen7/status/7712601...
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