Tracing a registered keeper

[Lady123]

So , that age old question of chasing a registered keeper via DVLA . Long story short but I have just found out that my partner of 2 1/2 years has been seeing someone else for the past 10 months (we both have children so live seperately ). I turned up at his house last Saturday night and her car was there ( midnight ). She was obviously inside ..... I rang him twice to save a scene but he didn't pick up ..... I banged on the door and he came to the door " what are you doing here ". He begged me not to make a scene as his daughter was in bed upstairs and didn't want me to wake her up !!!!! Usual tears and tantrums at the front door , but I agreed and drove away . ( I got the car details of her car before I left ). So , the week that has followed has been hell ...,,, he loves us both bla bla bla , doesn't know which way to turn , wants headspace etc !! 😡😡 He has told me her name but no more ....., ( he's obviously doing everything in his power to not lose one of us ). He also admitted to having had 2 other "relationships " in the time we have been together !!! Omg .
So , I have decided I'd like to let her know what she is dealing with ...... I know it won't fix anything for me , but I am so angry that he can do this and walk away Scot free . plus she has 2 children too and I think she should know what she's dealing with !!! I'm not a revenge / vindictive person , but in saying that I have never been in this position before . My last relationship ended amicably after we grew apart and we are still friends !! But I can't move on until I've been and had the conversation with her .... And I am aware I can't believe a word he tells me now !!! I rang DVLA on Monday , and they advised me to send in a form ( I said her car had been blocking my access to my drive all weekend ). I really don't want to sit outside his house and stalk her / him but I wondered if anyone had ever used the service ..... And how successful they had been . If they say no , I don't know what to do next ...... Meanwhile he's gone on holiday to get some much needed " head space " 😡😡

[Lady123]

Hi , I'm aware that the DVLA service isn't there to help sort out cheating partners, ..... ( thanks for that ) but am not sure what else I can do ..... I'm open to suggestions obviously .... I phoned a private investigator ( once I started to suspect ) , about 3 weeks ago , and they wanted £70 an hour ..... And reckon I'd be looking at Around 10 hours !!!

[Lady123]

I know that's what I should do ...... I have to say I had no clue she exists , and have been with him for 2 1/2 years now . If what he says is true he has been with her for almost a year , so he's obviously a bloody good liar ..... I feel like if I could have a conversation with her and get to the bottom of the truth then I could start to think about moving on . I haven't even told my kids yet ...... They think the sun shines out of him

[Lady123]

Hi , no he isn't their dad ..... We both have children from our previous marriages .... But at the moment I have chosen to say nothing to them until I get my head straight

[Lady123]

Thanks for all your input ..... Some of your responses have made me chuckle!! I didn't post this to ask to be judged , so the ones who have done so I will just ignore . I intend to move on , however I don't know if any of you have ever heard the terms " Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ". And "revenge is a dish best served cold ". Well as its less than a week since I found out that the person I loved with all my heart has done this , then forgive me if I feel
Upset , angry and like I want to " do " something , rather than just allow the pair of them to walk away into the sunset hand in hand !!!! I know time is a healer bla bla bla , but right now I want to go to her house and ask her what's been going on !! He tells me she thought she was the only one too !!