Friday 17th February 2017

Shed Of The Week: Jaguar S-Type

Dare you take a punt on the wrinkly charms of an old Jag?

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It's a sad fact that whatever charms Mrs Shed once possessed are long gone. Nowadays, with Shed more interested in touching up his collection of lead toy soldiers than attending to her womanly needs, she is reduced to lonely trips to the village pub in order to enjoy the occasional treat like some of the local pork in cider.

It's not an edifying spectacle, especially as the average age of the Fawcett Inn regular is somewhere in the mid-70s. Some of the old boys are quite racy though, especially one mustachioed ex-RAF type turned tomato grower who has often expressed a willingness to let Mrs Shed see his Grow More in the greenhouse.

As coincidence would have it, that old boy runs a Jag S-Type, rather like the one adorning our Shedly spot this week.

Roundly vilified, and correctly so if their big ends have gone (as seems to happen quite often with the 3.0-litre sixes), an S-Type can nevertheless be a surprisingly adept and comfy cruiser. In 3.0 form it weighed in at 1,710kg, did the 0-60 in 7.9, ran on to nearly 145mph and returned a claimed 26mpg on the combined cycle. It's the last of the old-fashioned, old-style Jaguars, and therefore (you would have thought) of some historical value in years to come if anybody can be bothered to keep one in good condition.

This example is a Sport, which gave it that slightly rude bodykit and alloys, lower, stiffer springs, leather wheel and gearknob, and Dynamic Stability Control. It shows every sign of falling into the well loved category, showing just two owners in its 16-year life, the one-badge-too-far addition of a bonnet leaper and the olde-worlde AA badge on the grille. As noted, it wasn't a bad idea to be in the AA if you had a 3.0 S-Type. Besides the bottom end, you need to keep a weather eye out for the gearbox fluid, air-con compressor, stupid electronic handbrake, leaky boot (with associated electrical problems), non-functioning bonnet catch (always a good one that), electrical bits generally and suspension components generally.

But could this car be the exception that proves the rule, demonstrating that even dodgy mechanical reputations can be overturned by diligent maintenance? The MoT history is strong, restricted mainly to consumable items and slight front wheel bearing play that has been appearing on the advisories list since 2014. The only mention of corrosion was a light dusting on the offside brake lines in 2014, which was apparently immediately rectified as it has never sullied an MoT doc since. The classic hallmark of a fastidious 'bung it into the garage and get it fixed' owner.

Bar the bogging aftermarket steering wheel cover which oh-so-nearly-but-not-quite matches the restful hues elsewhere, the leather and wood cabin looks as clean as the body. Being a 2001 car it may have received the factory improvements to the steering that were carried out in that year.

It doesn't have a massive amount of time left on the ticket - expiry date is April 10 - but unless something catastrophic has happened in the last 10 months or so, there really is nothing obvious for you to lose any sleep over. And if it does turn out to have a terminal case of the nasties you can always do what Antonio Pizzonia did and give it a glorious Viking funeral at a track day near you.

Here's the ad.

PART EXCHANGE CLEARANCE - THIS VEHICLE CAME INTO US ON A PART EXCHANGE SO WE OFFER THIS AS A TRADE PRICE SALE VEHICLE COME WITH OUT WARRANTY HENCE THE PRICE DRIVES FINE CHEAP EXECUTIVE CAR FOR SOMEONE TAXED READY TO DRIVEAWAY TODAY LOOKS GREAT & DRIVES FINE 1ST TO VIEW WILL BUY.., Metallic Paint, Upholstery Leather, Seats Electric (Driver/Passenger), Lumbar support, Electric Tilt/Slide Sunroof, Height adjustable drivers seat, Electric windows, Electric door mirrors, Electric Folding Mirrors, Climate Control, In Car Entertainment, Alarm, Power steering, Adjustable Steering Column/Wheel, Central Door Locking, Radio, Traction control, Air Bag Driver, Air conditioning, Cruise Control, 3x3 point rear seat belts, Parking aid, Traction Control System, Head Restraints, Alloy wheels, Front Fog Lights, Front Drink Holder. 5 seats, Silver, VIEWING HIGHLY RECOMMENDED..Ready To Go, Please Call or Email Our Dedicated Friendly Sales Team For Further Information or Assistance You Can Reserve This Car For Seven Days For a Flexible Fee, Be Quick, Delivery/Collection Service Available, All Major Payment Methods Accepted, Full Dealer Facilities

[Dafuq]

What a barge-in, did you see what I did there?

Looks to be in decent nick that, but looks can be deceiving though I guess.

[Dafuq]

s m said:

Dafuq said:

What a barge-in, did you see what I did there?

You know what they say though these days.....sometimes, it can be hard to drive a bargain

Especially if it is on an extended holiday at the local spanner monkey hotel. Good thing Jag have learnt on moved on to produce a better product in more recent times.

[Dafuq]

s m said:

Dafuq said:

What a barge-in, did you see what I did there?

You know what they say though these days.....sometimes, it can be hard to drive a bargain

Especially if it is on an extended holiday at the local spanner monkey hotel. Good thing Jag have learnt on moved on to produce a better product in more recent times.