Why is everyone talking about the bloody 335d?

[stuart-b]

Ok,

Just out of interest, I keep reading:

"It's not as good as a 335d"

"But can it keep up with a 335d?"

"The benchmark for all cars, is a 335d".

Have I missed something in the last few weeks?

[stuart-b]

Ok that clears that up then

[stuart-b]

Garlick said:

PH has given up speed testing cars editorially, its known by most that THE fastest car on UK roads is a chipped 335d

Maybe we should write to JC @ Top Gear and let him know the good news.

We have a new winner of the "COOL WALL"

[stuart-b]

B16JUS said:

wasnt there a long story about it was actually his dads car but he drives it or bought it for some nominal figure off his dad

J

I see.

It all becomes clear.

I'm sure it's a great car for its class, but - how can you compare fun purely on a few tenths of a second in a straight line?

That TTS 'review' was very amusing!

I had better get on and do some work now ...

[stuart-b]

tomTVR said:

MrKipling43 said:

Garlick said:

How fast would that be?

They say a picture paints a thousand words...

Just to clarify you are comparing the two vehicles in terms of weight?

To be fair, Data remapped the enterprise, so it's a fair comparison.

The Enterprise, like the 335d, is also slow off the mark, but with a rolling start it's very impressive. 0 to another galaxy in just a few seconds.

[stuart-b]

MrKipling43 said:

tomTVR said:

Just to clarify you are comparing the two vehicles in terms of weight?

stuart-b said:

The Enterprise, like the 335d, is also slow off the mark, but with a rolling start it's very impressive. 0 to another galaxy in just a few seconds.

MrKipling43 i noticed in your profile you're an extreme sports journo. What do you cover?

[stuart-b]

biglepton said:

Munter said:

But I fugure your average human could cover ~2sq meters...

<pedant on>

Depends on the type of meter - speedo, odometer, voltmeter?

Oh, you mean metres!

<pedant off>

Jokezs arenn't funnny wen u cnna spell cap'in.

[stuart-b]

Kieran XJR said:

Dare I ask just how fast a remapped 335d actually is? In real life I mean.

Oh dear, here we go again!

[stuart-b]

eowen said:

ENOUGH!

[stuart-b]

H2DaE said:

I heard that JCB diesel land speed record thing was actually a 335d with a reshell

And also that although the recorded speed was 328mph, this was actually just when the car was coming onto boost and the acceleration of the car broke the recording equipment. Therefore they had to use the last officially known speed, the actual speed was estimated to be in excess of Mach 7

This chap is very satified with his engine swap from a 335d.

With some minor trickery, I think it's putting out just over 3,000 HP.

[stuart-b]

german tony said:

"You really need keep your mouth shut or at least think hard before you put finger to keyboard. You continually piss off the guys on PH with your persistent support of the 335d to a point where the car is now considered a laughing stock and is the butt of many jokes on there. There was even a thread recently where a Poll was set up jokingly to discuss whether the 335d was the ultimate road going vehicle.....and this was on the back of you and your comments on various threads. I am quite well respected on PH through my association and development work with the TVR Cerbera and help/advice and support I have given to members with their cars, however I try my best to avoid threads around BMW's now as they always turn into debates and arguments as opposed to friendly discussion. I have not given you a hard time on PH and have at times tried to be supportive, but when you start to have a dig at me or question my intelligence and patience then you'll find that I'll fall in line with all of the other's and will treat you accordingly."

aha

Quote of the year.

[stuart-b]

Just came back from lunch to see this... Can't believe this topic I posted this morning had so much "heat" around it.

[stuart-b]

dirty boy said:

+1 for Stuart-b's inbox




Did anyone actually see the pic of Carlos on the xbimmers website?

dxb335d said:

I get many many looks by women in my coupe. It is a sexy car.

You can bet your socks they're not!

Thanks matey, just what my inbox needed, another email

I think I can unsubscribe yes, but this is thread has turned into pure comedy gold - and I started it not knowing anything about DXB335 or why everyone was fasinated with the 335d.

[stuart-b]

Oh dear this thread just keeps getting better, I don't think I've been at all productive while reading this.

Can we get the 335d(mapped) a voice for I-Drive?

I would really like to get Patrick Stewart (Captain Picard).

While I'm at Santa Pod, getting ready to launch, within the two seconds I have to hold the (mapped) engine at peak torque(s!) (1,800rpm) for two seconds, before the torque converter burns out - I would really like it if it said:






"ENGAGE..."

[stuart-b]

[quote=tomTVR (mapped)]
[/quote]

[stuart-b]

Although I had no idea how this post would turn out, and even though you all say this guy has 2000 posts going on about his car...I do really like the new 3 series, and think it's one of the nicest looking BMWs on the road for a long time, and would love a 335d, mapped of course ;-)

[stuart-b]

FastLaneGirl said:

I am laughing so hard I've cried That other thread is pure genius too.


"The 335d exceeds all expectations of EVERY owner ive ever spoke to.."

So that'll be each time you have a shave then? With your Gillette Mach3 WarpSpeedTurbo (mapped)

Can you imagine a mapped Gillette shaver? fk me we're on to something.

WOULD IT BEAT MY M3 GILLETTE? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by stuart-b on Wednesday 13th August 19:16

[stuart-b]

Picard is back. Data has done a new remap, he's trying the 1/4 mile again.



"ENGAGE..."

Edited by stuart-b on Wednesday 13th August 20:13

[stuart-b]

Come on chaps let's keep this light hearted and funny. I started it with a genuine question, not a bashing contest

Anyhow, I think it's time for topic to be locked, it has run its course.

Plus my inbox was 230 emails his morning, 229 of which were from Pistonheads

[stuart-b]

OperationAlfa said:

Glad some people are beginning to see this is well OTT.

Well as I stated above, I had a genuine question - which was followed by some light hearted banter.

I don't want to see it get locked and binned, like lots of topics seem to be. It stayed clean for 20 pages at least.