Help with a worried mother
Discussion
Hi guys (and girls),
I'm looking to tap in to the limitless source of knowledge, wisdom and understanding that is the PistonHeads Forum.
Basically, to set the scene, I am a keen amateur racing driver. (Realistically) I'm not the next Lewis or Jenson, but I absolutely love it, the way only a racing driver really understands.
As you would imagine, having a 10 year old son who is as obsessed by cars and motorsprt as I am, I take him karting regularly, and he races in an arrive and drive series operated by Daytona, out of their Esher circuit.
(Off topic, but for any SW London based parents out there, I can't speak highly enough of the championship they run: the quality, and more importantly, equality of the karts, value for money, professionalism, etc etc)
However I have a dark cloud looming on the horizon, in the shape of my ex-wife. Generally we still get on very well, however, she absolutely hates, despises, and can't begin to fathom, motorsport. She has been reasonably understanding about young Dan's fledgling motorsport career to date, with only the odd wobble along the way. This (last) weekend however, she decided to come along to the track to watch the racing, and as luck would have it, on one of the very few times she was watching, there was a nasty little accident in one of my son's heats, where a kid ended up in the tyre barrier and was flung out of his kart.
Obviously, as a fellow parent, it is the last thing any of us want to see, however, the kart was only doing 20 mph or so, and after 20 mins the ambulance still hadn't arrived, (although occasionally ambulances are slow to arrive, 99% of the time, if it is a serious accident involving a child they are there within 3 minutes) so we knew it probably wasn't too bad. Certainly, by the way the kid's Dad was hovering above him, although worried, he didn't look horrified.
My big mistake seems to have been a flippant comment to one of the other parents that she overheard. Compounded by one of the other dads telling his son, "No you can't have a bloody rib protector. You don't need one. Next thing you'll be asking for is a roll cage!". That in particular pretty much pushed her over the edge!!!
Anyway, as you can imagine, my ex-wife then had a meltdown in the viewing area, and is seriously unhappy about Dan continuing.
Now, we all know there are some risks involved in motorsport. We all accept that, and if we're honest, it adds to the exhileration.
My question (finally I get to the point) is do any of you know, or have access to statistics that show how many injuries there are in motorsport compared to horse riding, rugby, football, tennis, lacrosse, etc etc.
I know as well as the rest of you, that its going to be vastly lower than the other sports I've just mentioned, but I need to present her with some cast iron proof that I'm not risking the life of my only son and heir!!!
Thanks in advance for all replies.
I'm looking to tap in to the limitless source of knowledge, wisdom and understanding that is the PistonHeads Forum.
Basically, to set the scene, I am a keen amateur racing driver. (Realistically) I'm not the next Lewis or Jenson, but I absolutely love it, the way only a racing driver really understands.
As you would imagine, having a 10 year old son who is as obsessed by cars and motorsprt as I am, I take him karting regularly, and he races in an arrive and drive series operated by Daytona, out of their Esher circuit.
(Off topic, but for any SW London based parents out there, I can't speak highly enough of the championship they run: the quality, and more importantly, equality of the karts, value for money, professionalism, etc etc)
However I have a dark cloud looming on the horizon, in the shape of my ex-wife. Generally we still get on very well, however, she absolutely hates, despises, and can't begin to fathom, motorsport. She has been reasonably understanding about young Dan's fledgling motorsport career to date, with only the odd wobble along the way. This (last) weekend however, she decided to come along to the track to watch the racing, and as luck would have it, on one of the very few times she was watching, there was a nasty little accident in one of my son's heats, where a kid ended up in the tyre barrier and was flung out of his kart.
Obviously, as a fellow parent, it is the last thing any of us want to see, however, the kart was only doing 20 mph or so, and after 20 mins the ambulance still hadn't arrived, (although occasionally ambulances are slow to arrive, 99% of the time, if it is a serious accident involving a child they are there within 3 minutes) so we knew it probably wasn't too bad. Certainly, by the way the kid's Dad was hovering above him, although worried, he didn't look horrified.
My big mistake seems to have been a flippant comment to one of the other parents that she overheard. Compounded by one of the other dads telling his son, "No you can't have a bloody rib protector. You don't need one. Next thing you'll be asking for is a roll cage!". That in particular pretty much pushed her over the edge!!!
Anyway, as you can imagine, my ex-wife then had a meltdown in the viewing area, and is seriously unhappy about Dan continuing.
Now, we all know there are some risks involved in motorsport. We all accept that, and if we're honest, it adds to the exhileration.
My question (finally I get to the point) is do any of you know, or have access to statistics that show how many injuries there are in motorsport compared to horse riding, rugby, football, tennis, lacrosse, etc etc.
I know as well as the rest of you, that its going to be vastly lower than the other sports I've just mentioned, but I need to present her with some cast iron proof that I'm not risking the life of my only son and heir!!!
Thanks in advance for all replies.
Belleair - Will do, thanks for the contact.
CocoUK - I totally agree. He's a very mature 10 yr old (sometimes a little too mature) so he's well aware of the risks involved. Like with the rest of us, its just a risk worth taking. To live a life devoid of excitement and fun is a waste of a life.
So anyway, to sum up so far, the main advice is to tell the ex that she should be counting herself lucky I haven't got him into dressage, cheerleading or fishing...
This is why I love PistonHeads :-)
CocoUK - I totally agree. He's a very mature 10 yr old (sometimes a little too mature) so he's well aware of the risks involved. Like with the rest of us, its just a risk worth taking. To live a life devoid of excitement and fun is a waste of a life.
So anyway, to sum up so far, the main advice is to tell the ex that she should be counting herself lucky I haven't got him into dressage, cheerleading or fishing...
This is why I love PistonHeads :-)
Richard-G said:
If she's attractive, I could date her and fill her head with pro Motorsport propoganda. A double pronged attack if you will...
She's married an opera singer guy without a drop of petrol in the blood :-( He drives an old 1.6 Astra diesel, with a roof box...
I've get no help in that department.
gtdc said:
It was unfortunate that she was at an event where there wasn't an ambulance on sight while races were going on. How long before your son moves into championships where there is full medical cover?
Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
I think you're absolutely right. Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
Its a tricky one for all concerned. She's a wonderful mum, and wants to support him in something he clearly loves, but it goes against all her maternal instincts for her to see him doing something she perceives as very dangerous.
The problem lies with her lack of understanding about the sport. She once went karting - to show him she would have a go, but didn't get past 50% throttle even on the straights.
We're due to have a coffee to discuss what happened later today, and I'll gently try and suggest that she tries to stay away from the track altogether. I'm bracing myself...
graememac said:
In my opinion its good for a kid to be in the karting paddock, learning interaction skills with the other kids, learning team work when it comes to the set up and running of the kart and also learning about winning and losing.
Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
Sadly one of my best friends also died in a car accident in similar circumstances. The first thing his father did was buy a go-kart for his younger brother. Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
When I look back at my antics as a 17 year old I shudder, both at the stupidity and incompetence. I have already explained to his mother that the better his car control skills, and the more aware he is of the risks (which lets face it, to a young lad are only realised when it goes wrong) the more likely he is to emerge unscathed from those dangerous couple of years on the roads.
Again, as a young woman without any desire for speed or exhileration she simply doesn't understand why a 17 year old boy with a new license would go out and do anything silly on the roads...
Ahhh, its not going to be an easy chat later on...
gtdc said:
You married a Surrey wife. You must work with what you've got.
A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
I read this one with a smile :-) Actually, she's a French (ex)wife that I imported to Surrey.A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
Totally agree with you though, and I will raise the points you make.
I was practicing my innocent demenour with the pit marshall in Angelsey this weekend actually. I'm getting better at it.
Out of interest, what is the lower age limit for lads on your track / test days?
16 with an MSA license, or 14?
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