B*tch tried to kill me!
Discussion
We say every drive is an event, but this one a little more so.
A sunny, peaceful day in Coventry
. The road conditions were dry, traction good, macro-smooth micro-rough type surface, visibility excellent, the temperature approximately 17 degrees and after a long morning of sitting in traffic, I could tell the Cerbera was a bit fed up.
Relentlessly hunting its way through the traffic of the early morning rabbit runs like an evil Elmer Fudd with banging shotgun sounds every few yards, generating wafts of hot air that, had I the ability to channel it in to the cockpit could surely have been sufficient to lift the car for flight, it sat emitting a fuel ridden stench not even the neighbouring lorries and coaches could match. It yearned for some clear road and made sure everybody knew of its unfair treatment
.
Leaving the equally maddenning M6, achieving a speed measurable in miles per the hour instead of feet per week, straining at the leash I decided to let the beast run.
An island off the A46 preceeded by a white sign with a black line on it signified the beginning of Cerbera running territory. There was an Astra in the mid-distance occupying the right hand lane like a zoo tortoise creeping along an enclosure wall, I judged there to be room for ~60% 2nd gear throttle...
The Cerbera decided it was time for full throttle. Instantly. Permanent, instant full throttle after snapping its throttle cable and yanking the bracket clean off. Without anything to anchor the spring it recoiled in that same instant, wrenching open the gates for approximately 420 of Blackpool's angriest steroid fed donkeys.
Approaching the back of the Astra like a rocket propelled cheetah that fancied speed as a means of cracking open the tortoise's shell, I cut the clutch in and braked hard. Avoiding colision by taking to the left hand lane, clutch still in and the rev limiter struggling to prolong the life of the engine, the beast left me with no choice but to hit the kill button and put it to sleep - after observing that there was so much run off room I wouldn't need to brake again .
Coasting to a stop, trapped in a live 70mph lane requiring the police to cordon off a lane for recovery so that I could escape, I had to endure taunts of "Plastic pig" and "Well it's a TVR", from the attending officers.
Now it's in the hands of Dom, who assures me I should still try talking to it nicely for a few weeks until the rebuild
(that it needed anyway).
So to summarise today's little story: The fg scariest experience I've ever had in a car. Thank I'm a calm headed advanced driver. I still myself. My neck hurts. More money. That thing. . How the I'm alive I don't know. So lucky.
A sunny, peaceful day in Coventry
. The road conditions were dry, traction good, macro-smooth micro-rough type surface, visibility excellent, the temperature approximately 17 degrees and after a long morning of sitting in traffic, I could tell the Cerbera was a bit fed up. Relentlessly hunting its way through the traffic of the early morning rabbit runs like an evil Elmer Fudd with banging shotgun sounds every few yards, generating wafts of hot air that, had I the ability to channel it in to the cockpit could surely have been sufficient to lift the car for flight, it sat emitting a fuel ridden stench not even the neighbouring lorries and coaches could match. It yearned for some clear road and made sure everybody knew of its unfair treatment
. Leaving the equally maddenning M6, achieving a speed measurable in miles per the hour instead of feet per week, straining at the leash I decided to let the beast run.
An island off the A46 preceeded by a white sign with a black line on it signified the beginning of Cerbera running territory. There was an Astra in the mid-distance occupying the right hand lane like a zoo tortoise creeping along an enclosure wall, I judged there to be room for ~60% 2nd gear throttle...
The Cerbera decided it was time for full throttle. Instantly. Permanent, instant full throttle after snapping its throttle cable and yanking the bracket clean off. Without anything to anchor the spring it recoiled in that same instant, wrenching open the gates for approximately 420 of Blackpool's angriest steroid fed donkeys.
Approaching the back of the Astra like a rocket propelled cheetah that fancied speed as a means of cracking open the tortoise's shell, I cut the clutch in and braked hard. Avoiding colision by taking to the left hand lane, clutch still in and the rev limiter struggling to prolong the life of the engine, the beast left me with no choice but to hit the kill button and put it to sleep - after observing that there was so much run off room I wouldn't need to brake again .
Coasting to a stop, trapped in a live 70mph lane requiring the police to cordon off a lane for recovery so that I could escape, I had to endure taunts of "Plastic pig" and "Well it's a TVR", from the attending officers.
Now it's in the hands of Dom, who assures me I should still try talking to it nicely for a few weeks until the rebuild
(that it needed anyway).So to summarise today's little story: The f
g scariest experience I've ever had in a car. Thank I'm a calm headed advanced driver. I still myself. My neck hurts. More money. That thing. . How the I'm alive I don't know. So lucky. Wow, thanks for the responses everyone, I didn't expect quite so many!
I've just approached the beastat the vet's and head vet Dom showed me an incorrect specification of throttle cable, probably put in by the last people to perform heart surgery. Hence the reason it snapped as it was too thin for walking such a murderous .
Thanks mate!
Another reason to keep it
So you too have boring, straight a-roads to thank for your survival!
. My Celica used to do it because of some dodgy factory mats, but without the benefit of RWD unlike your Morris to make your last seconds on earth fun - but the Celica's was quickly fixed by dragging the mat with my foot.
I've just approached the beast
at the vet's and head vet Dom showed me an incorrect specification of throttle cable, probably put in by the last people to perform heart surgery. Hence the reason it snapped as it was too thin for walking such a murderous .Supateg said:
This is the best post I've ever read on here.
Best comment ever - Thanks mate!DCerebrate said:
What did the Astra driver make of it all - or did they just sail off into the distance?!
After what seemed like many hours of watching, resorting the astronomic method of observing reflected light for redshift I was finally able to determine that the pale, sick looking wide eyed bloke in the Astra staring at me like I was the ghost of driving past hadn't just managed to catch up, but was infact just about pulling away from me after hitting the kill button. But it took a few measurements to verify this and a second opinion from a passing snail. I'm not sure whose bowels opened wider, but if his bowels move as slowly as he was driving, I imagine he's probably just about to turtle now. And has been enduring two days' worth of questions about why he's walking so strangely. ClassiChimi said:
sounds like you saved a bad accident
purpleliability said:
Well done for keeping it sticky side down!
TvrJohn said:
Well held that man, epic save
relax
Thanks! I've no doubt that for a many people that could have been a very serious accident and had I been on a different kind of road, I would probably have been through some hedges with various pieces of me adorning various rooms and light fittings in a remote farmhouse that had just found itself to be fitted with a racing-V8 powered abattoir. relax
Incognegro said:
OMG Im trying to think of anything that could have caused this as if it was totally out of the blue Im thinking do I get into mine again??!
Do one thing every day that scares you....Another reason to keep it
Boosted LS1 said:
To cut a long story short it wouldn't shut down even after I'd killed the ignition. It stopped when the float bowls emptied.
So you too have boring, straight a-roads to thank for your survival!gruffalo said:
Had this, caused by a frayed cable.
Best thing is to just hit the red button but leave the car in gear
Great advice that should probably be pinned on every car forum everywhere and be in the driving theory test - better to find out beforehand than at the moment you need to find it out!. Best thing is to just hit the red button but leave the car in gear
mybrainhurts said:
My brain hurts...
Happened to me once...
In a Morris 1100...
My brain would hurt too after 84,000 posts! You could fill a book yourself brain hurts...Happened to me once...
In a Morris 1100...
. My Celica used to do it because of some dodgy factory mats, but without the benefit of RWD unlike your Morris to make your last seconds on earth fun - but the Celica's was quickly fixed by dragging the mat with my foot. FarmyardPants said:
In a situation like that the temptation is to use the clutch but the brakes should be stronger than the engine and I think just the brake pedal until you gather your wits enough to find the ignition button (and safe bit of road) is the best idea. Easily said from my armchair I know, I would st myself too 
.
Not far off what I did and in line with conventional wisdom, but I just had to stop the damn thing accelerating as soon as possible since I didn't fancy wearing an Astra for a beard, so the clutch went in and the anchors went down. If I'd have just stood on the brake, even with all of my might, I'd have hit it since I just didn't have room to beat the forward surge and also halve my speed. t myself too . I can honestly liken it to being punched in the head. There was the same half a second of my head snapping back and thoughts of "Oh s
t where did that come from?"Edited by NuddyRap on Thursday 26th May 16:56
Byker28i said:
I have two return springs on mine, both going to different places, one fitted by factory, the other when it was mapped as it was felt it had too light a spring and could possibly stick.
I'm looking at and thinking about some means of alternate restraint to prevent such a reoccurrence, but given that it'll soon be rebuilt by Power anyway, hopefully I'll never experience that again. Gassing Station | Cerbera | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff