A tale of speeding. Told by an idiot. Signifying nothing.
Discussion
I'm on the A85. I've just seen my sixth copper in ten miles as they're out for the bikers today. Most are in villages where I religiously adhere to speed limits anyway so it's not an issue. The coppers point their guns at me, and I nod and smile from behind the iridium visor I just bought and instantly regret wearing. Most ignore me, some wave back.
The road opens up and conditions are perfect. Behind traffic, I pull out in the right, then proceed to overtake about seven or so cars as the GSXR rasps, goading me on. I glance at the speedo and I last see it hit about 130mph, I concentrate on more important matters and continue to accelerate, then pull back in comfortably. I check the parking bays for more police, and I carry on in this fashion for about seven or eight miles, enjoying the new S21s I've just had fitted. A parking bay ahead is obscured, so I check my mirrors to slow down, only now there's a Battenburg FJR1300 in each of them. Rather than wait for the lights and sirens, I pull over.
Before asked I turn the bike off, place down my helmet, then throw my jacket on top to obscure the illegal visor. My mind wanders to worst, if they followed me from the last village one possible, but unlikely, outcome here is prison. Given the general hysteria about bikers, especially in Scotland, losing my licence seems highly likely at this point. My mind races further and I remember a condition of my employment is a licence, so I'm filled with a sense of self-loathing. In any instance I'm not riding home, so I get comfortable.
"You don't know how long we've been following you do you?", says the first copper. I say nothing but acknowledge him. I don't, but if he calls a recovery wagon I should have a good idea...
We beging to "chat". There's some attempt to "scare me straight", but under the circumstances I actually take it as a positive. If they were just out to f
k me, they wouldn't take the time. This is a "hearts and minds" style booking, not a "you're off to jail sonny", which means I might be in luck.
There's a degree of pleading, and I'm not ashamed to say, groveling, I make a few attempts at humour which initially don't land but eventually crack a laugh or two. Most of this peaks when I am asked to describe myself for the official record, and I describe myself as some sort of Adonis. How disappointing any manhunt would be. By the end of chat the leading copper discusses his bike briefly. I wonder if he is the only S1000RR owner in the world to never knowingly break the speed limit as not to be a hypocrite.
On the strength of my people skills and allegedly "good riding", my average speed suddenly appears to be inconsistent, and I'm now let off with 3 points and a £100 fine. I am beyond lucky, and fully aware I don't deserve it. The self loathing and embarrassment kicks in again and I'm on the A82 home. I make little attempt at progress and instead watch the Loch shimmer from behind a campervan. It would have been a lovely day.
When home, I launch my bike in the garage in record time, bugs and all, and I tell myself I won't ride the bike until April. That I will join ROSPA. That I am a changed man...
But now 48 hours after the fact, and I'm just being honest, I'm not so sure. My thoughts already turn to Spring and how much more relaxed I can be about speeds once I'm back down to 6 points. I think of quieter roads which are not regulated, I wonder which van the coppers were hiding behind, and I think of how great the bike was running up until that point. I still don't think speeding is evil in itself in certain circumstances, I still think there is a time and a place, and I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed about getting caught than actually speeding.
The system works.
The road opens up and conditions are perfect. Behind traffic, I pull out in the right, then proceed to overtake about seven or so cars as the GSXR rasps, goading me on. I glance at the speedo and I last see it hit about 130mph, I concentrate on more important matters and continue to accelerate, then pull back in comfortably. I check the parking bays for more police, and I carry on in this fashion for about seven or eight miles, enjoying the new S21s I've just had fitted. A parking bay ahead is obscured, so I check my mirrors to slow down, only now there's a Battenburg FJR1300 in each of them. Rather than wait for the lights and sirens, I pull over.
Before asked I turn the bike off, place down my helmet, then throw my jacket on top to obscure the illegal visor. My mind wanders to worst, if they followed me from the last village one possible, but unlikely, outcome here is prison. Given the general hysteria about bikers, especially in Scotland, losing my licence seems highly likely at this point. My mind races further and I remember a condition of my employment is a licence, so I'm filled with a sense of self-loathing. In any instance I'm not riding home, so I get comfortable.
"You don't know how long we've been following you do you?", says the first copper. I say nothing but acknowledge him. I don't, but if he calls a recovery wagon I should have a good idea...
We beging to "chat". There's some attempt to "scare me straight", but under the circumstances I actually take it as a positive. If they were just out to f
k me, they wouldn't take the time. This is a "hearts and minds" style booking, not a "you're off to jail sonny", which means I might be in luck. There's a degree of pleading, and I'm not ashamed to say, groveling, I make a few attempts at humour which initially don't land but eventually crack a laugh or two. Most of this peaks when I am asked to describe myself for the official record, and I describe myself as some sort of Adonis. How disappointing any manhunt would be. By the end of chat the leading copper discusses his bike briefly. I wonder if he is the only S1000RR owner in the world to never knowingly break the speed limit as not to be a hypocrite.
On the strength of my people skills and allegedly "good riding", my average speed suddenly appears to be inconsistent, and I'm now let off with 3 points and a £100 fine. I am beyond lucky, and fully aware I don't deserve it. The self loathing and embarrassment kicks in again and I'm on the A82 home. I make little attempt at progress and instead watch the Loch shimmer from behind a campervan. It would have been a lovely day.
When home, I launch my bike in the garage in record time, bugs and all, and I tell myself I won't ride the bike until April. That I will join ROSPA. That I am a changed man...
But now 48 hours after the fact, and I'm just being honest, I'm not so sure. My thoughts already turn to Spring and how much more relaxed I can be about speeds once I'm back down to 6 points. I think of quieter roads which are not regulated, I wonder which van the coppers were hiding behind, and I think of how great the bike was running up until that point. I still don't think speeding is evil in itself in certain circumstances, I still think there is a time and a place, and I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed about getting caught than actually speeding.
The system works.
leighz said:
a row of seven or so cars you say? At 130+ you say? And only got an SP30....? Holy stfire.
Got stopped (about that area) for less....but maybe over a more sustained distance....with little in the way of villages. Charged with DD. Cue sleepless couple of months until summons arrives. When it did arrive the DD charge had miraculously vapourised. I count myself lucky.
Currently scouring the classifieds for something more pipe and slippers.
For those that say 'check your mirrors' - that won't necessarily help
No way they saw that... That was my worry when I stopped, and the main reason I feel lucky though!tfire.Got stopped (about that area) for less....but maybe over a more sustained distance....with little in the way of villages. Charged with DD. Cue sleepless couple of months until summons arrives. When it did arrive the DD charge had miraculously vapourised. I count myself lucky.
Currently scouring the classifieds for something more pipe and slippers.
For those that say 'check your mirrors' - that won't necessarily help
They actually complimented my riding, so definitely not following long...
I was thinking of a crosser. Then I'll get booked for trespassing though...
It made me a very sad police man. 
If you pay us £60 in 28 days however he can however carry on as normal but with more expensive insurance. 
"I only know one person who outran a police car. He only just managed it and is fking fast. He had very little time to take his bike apart in the garage (and was burned quite badly in the process!) even then the copper was quite clear he knew it was him.
As for outrunning two police bikes on a road they know inside out, with no urban areas to force them back, and with few turns to lose them, you're dreaming. Say what you want about police bikers but they really aren't slow, even on FJR1300s.
king fast. He had very little time to take his bike apart in the garage (and was burned quite badly in the process!) even then the copper was quite clear he knew it was him.As for outrunning two police bikes on a road they know inside out, with no urban areas to force them back, and with few turns to lose them, you're dreaming. Say what you want about police bikers but they really aren't slow, even on FJR1300s.
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