What's my Audi trying to tell me?

[Raddors]

So my ageing 2000 A6 C5 has thrown up an amber warning message today. As you can see the display is fairly knackered so any advice on what she's trying to tell me would be much appreciated. I have deduced it's not:

Bulb out
Washer fluid low
Battery voltage low/high
Speed limiter reached
Brake pads low
Service not due

Any thoughts?