Speed bumps in my village
Discussion
quote:Indeed it is...quote:is this by any chance Hatch Warren where after all the expense of installing them the council are looking at relocating them or removing all together..
They use those on my estate in Basingstoke - except they're all on a sweeping crescent and so your visibility is massively reduced - go thru at 20mph and there's a good chance that you'll meet oncoming traffic before you're clear.. go thru at 40 and you've got a much better chance of getting thru uninterrupted.. brilliant.
There's a pair of those rubber speed sensor strip things down between Wallop Drive and Moorhams at the moment - I've been slowing down to make sure that I'm doing about 25 over those, reasoning that if they show thaty a load of people are speeding over them, more obstructions will be put in place..
But the other day my wife postulated that by keeping under the limit, we're demonstrating that the calming works and therefore they'll put more in ...
So I drive over them as slowly as I can and wife floors it...
Shame we both have ABS or a quick 45MPH lockup would have the damn thing ripped up in no time..
where did you find out that they're thinking of removing them?
quote:
Worse than that, the road with bumps turns into a 60 zone further along - the number of people who do 40 along here, and then carry on at 40 into the next 30 zone? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
Oops ! Hot button, MAJOR pet hate, got to post.
T**ts who do 40 EVERYWHERE, usually greys in flat hats and beige zip-up jackets with frumpy looking, ugly wives, bifocal windscreen and tartan rug on the back shelf driving a either a Maestro or a Triumph Acclaim the colour of baby poo, polished to within an inch of it's poor, sad life with a Civil Service parking permit which must have expired ages ago 'cos they haven't worked for four hundred years.
Clearly demonstrating total lack of ability to judge road conditions, they think anticipation is what happens while waiting for Songs Of Praise to start, these people think Thora Hird is a sex symbol and are to the art of driving what Caligula was to the Temperance Movement.
They only recognise the old black and white rectangular road signs rather than these new fangled things with red circles and triangles and have never got used to having to fill the car up yourself rather than having some nice young man call you sir and do it for you.
Autoroute set up must be a piece of p**s for them (if they knew what a computer thingy was)
Urban roads - 40
B-road - 40
A-road - 40
Motorway - 40 (in the middle lane)
Every so**ing road - 40
If they had their way f*****g airliners would do 40
The only exception is when reversing, then they do 0.0000004 mph. stopping every 0.4cm to look around with a bemused, myopic stare which is pretty f*****g amazing 'cos when driving forwards they have a fixed forward stare that would make a sphinx jealous AND, they sit blocking the way in supermarket car parks waiting while some poor sod with a trolley filled with shopping and screaming kids unloads it all, even though there are 500 bloody spaces just along the way because NO, they MUST have THIS space and no they can't pull over and let you past because then you might nick THEIR space you cheeky young hooligan.
At 40 on an A road they can take blocking line that makes Rubens Barichello look like a rank amateur, at 40 in town they scythe through the traffic because you KNOW they haven't seen you through their dim, cataract clouded eyes and you're just going to get hit if you get in the way and have to try to exchange insurance details with someone boasting the auditory accuity of a post despite a huge, beige plastic hearing aid, cunningly coordinated to the paintwork of their car, who smells strongly of wee; so you bite your lip (to avoid "you'll be old someday, don't be so impatient" remarks from the wife - YES DEAR I'LL BE F*****G OLD BEFORE THIS SORRY GIT GETS OUT OF THE F*****G WAY) and swear a solemn oath that if you ever catch yourself turning into one of these you will go on a bender so wild that it will guarantee death or at least lifetime incarceration, preferably by driving a Speed 12 at over 200mph while getting a BJ from a teenage bimbo with tits like basketballs and a gob like a vacuum cleaner.
Steve, added a little fun to my otherwise boring afternoon trying to obtain more customers... Nicely written piece, I must say and got more than a few outbursts of laughter, which must make my employees think (again) that I am some mad bastard who finds Direct Marketing mail shots incredibly funny.
Regards
Regards
quote:
There's a pair of those rubber speed sensor strip things down between Wallop Drive and Moorhams at the moment....
Shame we both have ABS or a quick 45MPH lockup would have the damn thing ripped up in no time..
Might I suggest renting one of those tracked mini back-hoe tractors from your local builders yard?? Should do the trick....
>> Edited by octane junkie on Tuesday 26th March 15:48
quote:
I'm pretty sure I saw a piece in the news a while ago about a guy who had invented a speed ramp that was filled with liqud. The idea was that if you hit it at the right speed, the liquid had time to move and the bump became less severe. If you hit it faster than intended in became a normal, albeit aggressive speed ramp (less time for ht eliquid to deform I guess.) Anybody know whether they've been introduced yet?
Not gonna happen I found out where he lives.
I'd just like to post a special congratulations to the boys and girls at Islington Council for their best traffic hump yet. It can be found on Skinner Street for those who want to go and marvel.
There's a pass on the north west face that is passable. When you get to the top you've got to dodge the grazing Yaks. During the winter there is a ski lift operating on its lower slopes. Etc...
It is the main reason I don't bother to screw my splitter back on.
There's a pass on the north west face that is passable. When you get to the top you've got to dodge the grazing Yaks. During the winter there is a ski lift operating on its lower slopes. Etc...
It is the main reason I don't bother to screw my splitter back on.
I don't know why I'm laughing you're absolutly right. The only thing you mised is the flashing of headlights when you eventually get past them on a mile straight with no cars coming the other way. 
a question that is slighty away from the jist of the post
if you live on a street with speed hump/ bumps and your house burned down could sue the council for slowing down the fire brigade thus endangering you your nieghbours the street and loss of items from your home because the teh reaction time from the brigade was lsower due to traffic claming measures
if you live on a street with speed hump/ bumps and your house burned down could sue the council for slowing down the fire brigade thus endangering you your nieghbours the street and loss of items from your home because the teh reaction time from the brigade was lsower due to traffic claming measures
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