Best opening lines to Best Man speech

[dazren]

Have a look through a few here for ideas:

www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp

[desyboy]

Ladies and gentleman, If I could just say a few words..... I'd be a better public speaker!

[Neil_H]

"When XXXX asked me to be his best man, I had no hesitation in accepting. We've been through a lot together....and it's nice to see so many of them here today."

[sleep envy]

Before I start I'd just like to say [insert brides name], as usual, looks like one in a million unlike [insert groom's name] look like he's been won in a raffle.

[lazyitus]

"Ladies and Gents, I dont need to take the piss out of the groom today - nature has already beaten me to it."

Edited by lazyitus on Monday 2nd October 15:05

[mondeohdear]

jacobyte said:

"I was initially worried about giving a speech, so it took me a while to prepare my first couple of lines. But I feel much better now that I have snorted them."

Save that one for Pete Doherty and Kate Moss's wedding

[Mastiff]

"As a couple, they have been through thick and thin....he's thick..."

"Relationships are built on trust and understanding, she doesn't trust him and he doesn't understand her..."

[carlem]

If you're related to the groom then you could use this line.....

After all, they do say that blood is thicker than water....and "name" is thicker than both.

I used it in July and it went down pretty well.

My suggestion....

Never, ever mention old girdfriends. It might well be funny and get the audience in stiches but it could well upset the bride on her big day. It's just not worth it.

[308mate]

said:

"When XXXX asked me to be his best man, I had no hesitation in accepting. We've been through a lot together....and it's nice to see so many of them here today."

Hilarious. STRAIGHT to the pool room...

PB

Edited by 308mate on Monday 2nd October 16:58

Edited by 308mate on Monday 2nd October 16:59

[mybrainhurts]

Ladies and gentlemen....

God, you're ugly....

[GingerNinja]

Take a look here too:

www.thebestmanspeech.com/

[Dakkon]

carlem said:

My suggestion....

Never, ever mention old girdfriends. It might well be funny and get the audience in stiches but it could well upset the bride on her big day. It's just not worth it.

I would go along with that, also the joke about it being an honor to shag the queen mum, it really is very, very old

[sarkmeister]

You could always go for:

"Im a man of very few words...."

Then sit down.

[TallMark]

I've heard that public speaking is much like going to a nudist beach. The first few minutes are always the hardest.

[nightmare]

best one I have heard was at a mates wedding

"Ladies and Gentleman I'd like to thank you all very much for attending my Best Mans day today. I think it was particularly nice of [name of bride and groom] to dress so nicely for it" - that made everyone laugh a lot

ex-girlfriend style comments just make me want to punch whoever is doing the speech. It makes you look like a tw@t.

[mybrainhurts]

Ladies and gentlemen...

Well, I've seen the presents, and a tighter bunch of mean bastids I've never ever come across...

[tricky69]

(insert grooms name) is a man who could have any women he pleased.... unfortunatly he pleased no one...

Last time i had to give a speech i was very nervous, so i used a little trick... picture everyone in their underwear, so i did.... the judge the jury my lawyer everyone....

Edited by tricky69 on Monday 2nd October 16:01

[spielboy]

carlem said:

Never, ever mention old girdfriends. It might well be funny and get the audience in stiches but it could well upset the bride on her big day. It's just not worth it.

I attended a wedding a few years ago where the Best Man distributed a large number of 'door keys' amongst the female guests ...

During the speach he then pointed out that as the Groom was now married it would be appreciated if his ex-girlfriends could return his 'door keys' ...

30 plus women handing back door keys was very funny - and it did the ex-girlfriend thing without going into specifics which therefore didn't upset the bride - who ended up laughing her head off with the rest of us!!

[Leftie]

You ae lucky I am here as I was slight;y confused about the wedding venue. When I spoke to the groom about his wedding day he said he was realy looking forward to it, as he was going to Bangor, and I nearlly went to North Wales.

[mel]

spielboy said:

carlem said:

Never, ever mention old girdfriends. It might well be funny and get the audience in stiches but it could well upset the bride on her big day. It's just not worth it.

I attended a wedding a few years ago where the Best Man distributed a large number of 'door keys' amongst the female guests ...

During the speach he then pointed out that as the Groom was now married it would be appreciated if his ex-girlfriends could return his 'door keys' ...

30 plus women handing back door keys was very funny - and it did the ex-girlfriend thing without going into specifics which therefore didn't upset the bride - who ended up laughing her head off with the rest of us!!

That is even funnier if once all the calamity has died down and all the women are seated the last person to get up and hand a key in is the brides mother.