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Cheating wife - what to do?

Cheating wife - what to do?

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Discussion

DaveL485

2,708 posts

102 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
Agoogy said:
The relationship is dead.
Don't try and bring upn your child in a crap relationship...they're better of with seperate happy parents (IMO).
Next step is mediation to organise the split and who gets what.

Very sorry to hear of your situation.... increasingly common...
What boils my piss is that depsite the fact the woman has had the affair, she will get the better deal at the end... frown

edit - what Dusty said - very true.
Dusty964 said:
When the trust goes, it goes for good, and its not coming back.

Which gives you the rest of your life to consider that when she is not at home, or stays out late, or you cant get hold of her on her mobile, the nagging doubt that she is on all fours being rattled vigerously by derek from accounts (or anyone else for that matter).
At which point you will wish that you ended the whole thing years earlier, and got on with life with someone worth being with (ie not the one who took a length off a mate)
This ^^. From experience. She'll do it again, a leopard never changes its spots. Was hard having my 2 kids move out with her but I got past it and now I couldnt be happier. Fortunately we now get along and I see them as much as I want to.

mikeveal

2,379 posts

155 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
When a man steals your wife, the best revenge you can exact is to let him keep her.

King Herald

20,242 posts

121 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
irf said:
so in summary.

husband is inattentive, working all hours, is grumpy and moody, wife cheats with a work colleague of the husband, husband is to blame and has apologised for his behaviour and promises to do better?

something not quite right there.
It is the working mans version of the 'Stockholm syndrome' I think. hehe

"In psychology, Stockholm syndrome is a term used to describe a real paradoxical psychological phenomenon wherein hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness"



Oakey

19,270 posts

121 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?

the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?

his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?

Tallbut Buxomly

12,254 posts

121 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
I see where the op is coming from. He could have been the cause of why she cheated and its good he can see that and correct it.
He also has a point about not wanting to hear her complaints within the relationship.

I would say given present and past he is doing the right thing hard as it may be.
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Y282

20,167 posts

77 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
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mikeveal said:
When a man steals your wife, the best revenge you can exact is to let him keep her.
Like that. Like that a lot.

Welshbeef

24,132 posts

103 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
You CPUs ask her if she fancies a threesome with that guy. She nay be well up fr a bit of that.

cal216610

7,820 posts

75 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
Welshbeef said:
You CPUs ask her if she fancies a threesome with that guy. She nay be well up fr a bit of that.
Is it me, or have you been drinking?

andy-xr

12,211 posts

109 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
Sounds like a bit of iPad interference going on!

King Herald

20,242 posts

121 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?

the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?

his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.

VX Foxy

3,962 posts

148 months

Monday 3rd October 2011
quotequote all
King Herald said:
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.
Nicely summarised.

King Herald

20,242 posts

121 months

Tuesday 4th October 2011
quotequote all
hora said:
King Herald said:
Oakey said:
didn't the exact same thing happen in the other thread?

the one where the ph'ers wife was sleeping with two other guys behind his back, one of which was his boss?

his thread started the same as this and ended with him forgiving her and them trying to make it work, no?
That was the one where he blamed the guys, wanted to kill them, blamed himself, wanted to die, but the wife was still, somehow, innocent of any wrongdoings. Yes, I remember it well.
Thats a troll. I don't believe it- got a link to the thread? I can't find 'I have no self esteem and like hiding in a cupboard peaking out' anywhere on PH
I can't be bothered trawling for it, but it was a genuine thread, the guy started off telling us how he knew these two guys, knew where they lived, and wanted to go and sort them out.....

And that was even before he had mentioned the wife and her sperm-bank night-safe activities.

Oakey

19,270 posts

121 months

Tuesday 4th October 2011
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he asked the mods to delete it after people worked out who he was and looked him and his wife up on facebook and saw what all involved looked like

Steffan

10,194 posts

133 months

Wednesday 5th October 2011
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Some blokes will put up with virtually anything to stay in a relationship, if it can be called that.

So do some women.

Entirely their choice. Not my choice. Not my call.

Up to the OP though quite how he squares the topic wording I do not know.

justayellowbadge

35,840 posts

147 months

Wednesday 5th October 2011
quotequote all
hora said:
If I was caught cheating theres no way I'd let my partner think it was in part their fault.

I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
You mean you'd insist she accepted total responsibility?

Harsh, but it could work, I suppose..

Wish

451 posts

154 months

Sunday 6th October 2013
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Any update?
Did you manage to patch things up and move on ?

kind dilbert

217 posts

35 months

Sunday 6th October 2013
quotequote all
hammer some frozen sausages into his lawn.

ferrisbueller

16,711 posts

132 months

Monday 7th October 2013
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kind dilbert said:
hammer some frozen sausages into his lawn.
Erm.

Agrilla

834 posts

88 months

Monday 7th October 2013
quotequote all
Wish said:
Any update?
Did you manage to patch things up and move on ?
HERE

Justices

3,124 posts

69 months

Monday 7th October 2013
quotequote all
justayellowbadge said:
hora said:
If I was caught cheating theres no way I'd let my partner think it was in part their fault.

I think I'll leave it at that. Speaks volumes.
You mean you'd insist she accepted total responsibility?

Harsh, but it could work, I suppose..
hehe

Things like this can be worked out if there is a genuine desire from both sides. Bringing the other villain to your house would be too much for most to get over however. Quite amazed you are not featuring in a "Man levels house over cheating spouse" headline. Good on you!