Most ridiculous/bizarre accusations
Discussion
Many years ago, whilst I was "resting", I was doing an AutoCAD course at night school. Can't remember exactly what year, but the version I trained on was V12 for DOS.
After the lesson, and before I got the night bus home, I went to the Klix machine for a hot chocolate. I put in my 12p or whatever it was, got hot chocolate, drank hot chocolate, was accosted by wild-eyed woman vigorously accusing me of stealing the 6p she'd put in the machine whilst she had gone to get the other 6p. Nonplussed, I advised her that no, I hadn't taken her 6p. Hot chocolate was 12p, I put in 12p, I got hot chocolate, balance in machine, zero pence.
Such unassailable logic would have dissuaded a less-determined person, though, and she followed me all the way to the bus stop, never once ceasing in her loud deprecation of my good character.
I did honestly wonder if she was going to follow me home, but she settled for (yes, really) waving her fist at the departing bus, whilst shouting something about my dubious parentage.
So that's the strangest thing I've ever been accused of - stealing someone else's imaginary 6p.
Now you do some, otherwise I'll look like even more of a w
ker than usual.
After the lesson, and before I got the night bus home, I went to the Klix machine for a hot chocolate. I put in my 12p or whatever it was, got hot chocolate, drank hot chocolate, was accosted by wild-eyed woman vigorously accusing me of stealing the 6p she'd put in the machine whilst she had gone to get the other 6p. Nonplussed, I advised her that no, I hadn't taken her 6p. Hot chocolate was 12p, I put in 12p, I got hot chocolate, balance in machine, zero pence.
Such unassailable logic would have dissuaded a less-determined person, though, and she followed me all the way to the bus stop, never once ceasing in her loud deprecation of my good character.
I did honestly wonder if she was going to follow me home, but she settled for (yes, really) waving her fist at the departing bus, whilst shouting something about my dubious parentage.
So that's the strangest thing I've ever been accused of - stealing someone else's imaginary 6p.
Now you do some, otherwise I'll look like even more of a w
ker than usual.CommanderJameson said:
Many years ago, whilst I was "resting", I was doing an AutoCAD course at night school. Can't remember exactly what year, but the version I trained on was V12 for DOS.
After the lesson, and before I got the night bus home, I went to the Klix machine for a hot chocolate. I put in my 12p or whatever it was, got hot chocolate, drank hot chocolate, was accosted by wild-eyed woman vigorously accusing me of stealing the 6p she'd put in the machine whilst she had gone to get the other 6p. Nonplussed, I advised her that no, I hadn't taken her 6p. Hot chocolate was 12p, I put in 12p, I got hot chocolate, balance in machine, zero pence.
Such unassailable logic would have dissuaded a less-determined person, though, and she followed me all the way to the bus stop, never once ceasing in her loud deprecation of my good character.
I did honestly wonder if she was going to follow me home, but she settled for (yes, really) waving her fist at the departing bus, whilst shouting something about my dubious parentage.
So that's the strangest thing I've ever been accused of - stealing someone else's imaginary 6p.
Now you do some, otherwise I'll look like even more of a wker than usual.
This is going to sound made up, but I was once accused of secreting about my person 5p in otherwise misappropriated change. T'was after a visit to the shop around the corner from my work; I was asked to buy some food for a colleague, who resented my apparent theft, or careless disregard, of their 5p!After the lesson, and before I got the night bus home, I went to the Klix machine for a hot chocolate. I put in my 12p or whatever it was, got hot chocolate, drank hot chocolate, was accosted by wild-eyed woman vigorously accusing me of stealing the 6p she'd put in the machine whilst she had gone to get the other 6p. Nonplussed, I advised her that no, I hadn't taken her 6p. Hot chocolate was 12p, I put in 12p, I got hot chocolate, balance in machine, zero pence.
Such unassailable logic would have dissuaded a less-determined person, though, and she followed me all the way to the bus stop, never once ceasing in her loud deprecation of my good character.
I did honestly wonder if she was going to follow me home, but she settled for (yes, really) waving her fist at the departing bus, whilst shouting something about my dubious parentage.
So that's the strangest thing I've ever been accused of - stealing someone else's imaginary 6p.
Now you do some, otherwise I'll look like even more of a w
ker than usual.I was a bit surprised.
I was in Grimsby years ago and a large, tattooed, angry, drunk local came up to me and said, "ere mate, you look like Les Ferdinand", to which I replied "no mate, not even close" - to which he responded, angrily and pointing at me "You. Look. Like. Les. Ferdinand.", I suggested that he was indeed right and left. Quickly.
Stealing some one else car park space and rape.
Few years back, driving home from work, I get a phone call and being the law abiding citizen I am, I pull into a residential road and stop outside a house between 2 drive ways (to return the missed call). Perfectly legal place to stop, and as I was only likely to be a minute or so, not too inconsiderate to the house I am parked outside.
30 seconds later, a clapped out old pug 306 pulls up in front of me, blocking one of the drives.Out jumps a mad looking middle aged woman, red faced and fuming, slaps her had on the window and shouts I have stolen her space. Turns out she wont pay for parking at the near by train station, and had gone down the road to turn around. I tell her I am only going to be a few minutes, and to wait if she is that bothered. Not good enough she will miss her train and proceeds to spit at me through the open window. Window is promptly closed, so she starts to shout even louder, at this point I start mouthing that I cant hear her (I and most of the street can hear her fine) and start laughing, this may not have helped as she then starts punching my window to the point where her fist is now bleeding.
After a few minutes of this, she goes back to her car, and I incorrectly think I have "won". I make my phone call and notice she to is on the phone. I finish mine and am about to leave when she gets back out of her car, and shouts how I am "for it now" as she has called the police and informed them that I have just raped her. So I await the police to turn up...and wait and wait and wait, after about 20 minutes I give up, wave (shes now sat back in her car) and go home, a little sadder that people like this really do exist in the world and not just in Daily Mail stories.
Few years back, driving home from work, I get a phone call and being the law abiding citizen I am, I pull into a residential road and stop outside a house between 2 drive ways (to return the missed call). Perfectly legal place to stop, and as I was only likely to be a minute or so, not too inconsiderate to the house I am parked outside.
30 seconds later, a clapped out old pug 306 pulls up in front of me, blocking one of the drives.Out jumps a mad looking middle aged woman, red faced and fuming, slaps her had on the window and shouts I have stolen her space. Turns out she wont pay for parking at the near by train station, and had gone down the road to turn around. I tell her I am only going to be a few minutes, and to wait if she is that bothered. Not good enough she will miss her train and proceeds to spit at me through the open window. Window is promptly closed, so she starts to shout even louder, at this point I start mouthing that I cant hear her (I and most of the street can hear her fine) and start laughing, this may not have helped as she then starts punching my window to the point where her fist is now bleeding.
After a few minutes of this, she goes back to her car, and I incorrectly think I have "won". I make my phone call and notice she to is on the phone. I finish mine and am about to leave when she gets back out of her car, and shouts how I am "for it now" as she has called the police and informed them that I have just raped her. So I await the police to turn up...and wait and wait and wait, after about 20 minutes I give up, wave (shes now sat back in her car) and go home, a little sadder that people like this really do exist in the world and not just in Daily Mail stories.
Not from a stranger, but when i was at school my form tutor accused me of feeding broken glass to the hamsters.
He sort of looked around for someone to blame and just randomly picked on me (at least i hope .. iz it cos i am non-white?). Just to add, i had never done anything remotely unkind to anyone or anything, pretty much kept to myself, and there was no evidence to finger me for the crime.
First time in my life i stood up to any figure of authority. Can't remember what i said to him, but he threatened to send me to the headmaster, and i just totally dismissed him (like) in a sort of "go on make my day". We never really got on after that but i was near the end of Sixth Form so didn't care anymore.
He sort of looked around for someone to blame and just randomly picked on me (at least i hope .. iz it cos i am non-white?). Just to add, i had never done anything remotely unkind to anyone or anything, pretty much kept to myself, and there was no evidence to finger me for the crime.
First time in my life i stood up to any figure of authority. Can't remember what i said to him, but he threatened to send me to the headmaster, and i just totally dismissed him (like) in a sort of "go on make my day". We never really got on after that but i was near the end of Sixth Form so didn't care anymore.
Few years back whilst walking to work...
I’d got off the train at Nottingham station and was waiting to cross a fairly busy main road on a pedestrian crossing. As it was during the rush hour there was a fair bit of pedestrian traffic so the crossing was quite crowded. IIRC correctly the road/pavement was also in the process of being dug up, so it was pretty chaotic.
I unfortunately caught the walking stick of guy next to me with my boot knocking from his hand onto the ground (I don’t know if he was disabled or was just recovering from a broken ankle etc). Naturally I was pretty mortified so I picked up his stick and handed it back to him whilst apologising profusely.
Unfortunately for me, the guy went absolutely berserk with rage and started screaming that I was assaulting him and that I could keep his stick!! I again apologised and explained that it was an accident and that I certainly did not do it on purpose. He refused to listen to me and started screaming even louder... I hung his stick on the railing next to the crossing and got the fk out of there!
The word ‘screaming’ does not really come close to the noise this man was making: it was actually quite disturbing.
Strange bloke: I did my upmost to apologise but he was REALLY letting rip at me. God knows what other pedestrians must have thought: large rocker type man being accused of assaulting a disabled/man with walking stick... It wouldn’t have looked good for me.
I should stress once again that it was a complete accident and that there’s no way on earth that I’d do such a thing on purpose... I still feel a bit bad to this day that I couldn’t get through and apologise properly for my clumsiness.
I’d got off the train at Nottingham station and was waiting to cross a fairly busy main road on a pedestrian crossing. As it was during the rush hour there was a fair bit of pedestrian traffic so the crossing was quite crowded. IIRC correctly the road/pavement was also in the process of being dug up, so it was pretty chaotic.
I unfortunately caught the walking stick of guy next to me with my boot knocking from his hand onto the ground (I don’t know if he was disabled or was just recovering from a broken ankle etc). Naturally I was pretty mortified so I picked up his stick and handed it back to him whilst apologising profusely.
Unfortunately for me, the guy went absolutely berserk with rage and started screaming that I was assaulting him and that I could keep his stick!! I again apologised and explained that it was an accident and that I certainly did not do it on purpose. He refused to listen to me and started screaming even louder... I hung his stick on the railing next to the crossing and got the f
k out of there! The word ‘screaming’ does not really come close to the noise this man was making: it was actually quite disturbing.
Strange bloke: I did my upmost to apologise but he was REALLY letting rip at me. God knows what other pedestrians must have thought: large rocker type man being accused of assaulting a disabled/man with walking stick... It wouldn’t have looked good for me.
I should stress once again that it was a complete accident and that there’s no way on earth that I’d do such a thing on purpose... I still feel a bit bad to this day that I couldn’t get through and apologise properly for my clumsiness.
Playing pool with a mate in the social club of a well know mental hospital when a random stranger came and put his 20p down (long time ago!) to play next. After our game finished we were happy to walk away and let him play with what I now realise would have been one of his non existant friends. Anyway I played him and it became apparent that although he staff he was a sixpence short of a shilling.
During the came I potted an outrageous shot which my mate laughed at and this made me laugh a little too. The stranger then accused me of being "nosey for a cabbage".
It was just so random we could not help but fall about.
During the came I potted an outrageous shot which my mate laughed at and this made me laugh a little too. The stranger then accused me of being "nosey for a cabbage".
It was just so random we could not help but fall about.
Faust66 said:
Few years back whilst walking to work...
I’d got off the train at Nottingham station and was waiting to cross a fairly busy main road on a pedestrian crossing. As it was during the rush hour there was a fair bit of pedestrian traffic so the crossing was quite crowded. IIRC correctly the road/pavement was also in the process of being dug up, so it was pretty chaotic.
I unfortunately caught the walking stick of guy next to me with my boot knocking from his hand onto the ground (I don’t know if he was disabled or was just recovering from a broken ankle etc). Naturally I was pretty mortified so I picked up his stick and handed it back to him whilst apologising profusely.
Unfortunately for me, the guy went absolutely berserk with rage and started screaming that I was assaulting him and that I could keep his stick!! I again apologised and explained that it was an accident and that I certainly did not do it on purpose. He refused to listen to me and started screaming even louder... I hung his stick on the railing next to the crossing and got the fk out of there!
The word ‘screaming’ does not really come close to the noise this man was making: it was actually quite disturbing.
Strange bloke: I did my upmost to apologise but he was REALLY letting rip at me. God knows what other pedestrians must have thought: large rocker type man being accused of assaulting a disabled/man with walking stick... It wouldn’t have looked good for me.
I should stress once again that it was a complete accident and that there’s no way on earth that I’d do such a thing on purpose... I still feel a bit bad to this day that I couldn’t get through and apologise properly for my clumsiness.
Geez you're and evil bI’d got off the train at Nottingham station and was waiting to cross a fairly busy main road on a pedestrian crossing. As it was during the rush hour there was a fair bit of pedestrian traffic so the crossing was quite crowded. IIRC correctly the road/pavement was also in the process of being dug up, so it was pretty chaotic.
I unfortunately caught the walking stick of guy next to me with my boot knocking from his hand onto the ground (I don’t know if he was disabled or was just recovering from a broken ankle etc). Naturally I was pretty mortified so I picked up his stick and handed it back to him whilst apologising profusely.
Unfortunately for me, the guy went absolutely berserk with rage and started screaming that I was assaulting him and that I could keep his stick!! I again apologised and explained that it was an accident and that I certainly did not do it on purpose. He refused to listen to me and started screaming even louder... I hung his stick on the railing next to the crossing and got the f
k out of there! The word ‘screaming’ does not really come close to the noise this man was making: it was actually quite disturbing.
Strange bloke: I did my upmost to apologise but he was REALLY letting rip at me. God knows what other pedestrians must have thought: large rocker type man being accused of assaulting a disabled/man with walking stick... It wouldn’t have looked good for me.
I should stress once again that it was a complete accident and that there’s no way on earth that I’d do such a thing on purpose... I still feel a bit bad to this day that I couldn’t get through and apologise properly for my clumsiness.
d. 
fido said:
Not from a stranger, but when i was at school my form tutor accused me of feeding broken glass to the hamsters.
He sort of looked around for someone to blame and just randomly picked on me (at least i hope .. iz it cos i am non-white?). Just to add, i had never done anything remotely unkind to anyone or anything, pretty much kept to myself, and there was no evidence to finger me for the crime.
First time in my life i stood up to any figure of authority. Can't remember what i said to him, but he threatened to send me to the headmaster, and i just totally dismissed him (like) in a sort of "go on make my day". We never really got on after that but i was near the end of Sixth Form so didn't care anymore.
My head of sixth form didn't like me very much and was always trying to pin things on me. She pulled me into her office once to accuse me of stealing someone's LP (those big black plastic things with music on for the youngun's), she got in all of a fluster and resorted to telling me off when it transpired it was actually my LP that had been stolen.He sort of looked around for someone to blame and just randomly picked on me (at least i hope .. iz it cos i am non-white?). Just to add, i had never done anything remotely unkind to anyone or anything, pretty much kept to myself, and there was no evidence to finger me for the crime.
First time in my life i stood up to any figure of authority. Can't remember what i said to him, but he threatened to send me to the headmaster, and i just totally dismissed him (like) in a sort of "go on make my day". We never really got on after that but i was near the end of Sixth Form so didn't care anymore.
Justayellowbadge said:
I was walking the dogs the other night. On their leads.
Chap on the other side of the road screamed 'Keep your fking dogs away from me you prick"
He was 20 feet away, on opposite sides of a busy, wide road and we were walking away from each other.
Very strange.
WTF?Chap on the other side of the road screamed 'Keep your f
king dogs away from me you prick"He was 20 feet away, on opposite sides of a busy, wide road and we were walking away from each other.
Very strange.
Very strange indeed.
Back in about 1987 i was entering the local Kwik-Save, some middle aged hairy lesbian was behind me so I held the door open for her.
As she approached the door she accused me of being a misogynistic sexist bd, and that she could open her own fking doors all by herself, and that i should fk off.
I was 13 at the time
As she approached the door she accused me of being a misogynistic sexist b
d, and that she could open her own fking doors all by herself, and that i should fk off.I was 13 at the time
I once overtook a police van on a dual carriageway. The van was doing just under the speed limit.
I overtook it at the speed limit. It took me about 30 secs to pass it.
When I moved over he put on the blues and pulled me.
Then accused me of doing "about 15 mph above the speed limit". He wasn't happy when I laughed at him.
I overtook it at the speed limit. It took me about 30 secs to pass it.
When I moved over he put on the blues and pulled me.
Then accused me of doing "about 15 mph above the speed limit". He wasn't happy when I laughed at him.
I once had two guys knock on my door in my halls at university. They felt I'd been very rude to a fit female housemate of theirs on a night out and wanted to have a word. I barely knew their female housemate other than recognised her around the campus and tried previously to chat her up (failing miserably in the process).
I clarified the situation and they left. I then mentioned this to a neighbour about what a strange occurance it was and within a week they appeared again wanting to teach me a lesson, because the girl was now in tears about what I'd said. At which point I got very cross as I hadn't even seen her and had no idea what it was I'd allegedly said!
Turns out the neighbour who I mentioned it to was an absolute fruit cake who been stirring things up against me since the very start of the term. He left the university shortly afterwards, only to reappear at the summer ball at the end of the next year. By then I'd completely forgotten who he was, so didn't feel the need for payback.
I clarified the situation and they left. I then mentioned this to a neighbour about what a strange occurance it was and within a week they appeared again wanting to teach me a lesson, because the girl was now in tears about what I'd said. At which point I got very cross as I hadn't even seen her and had no idea what it was I'd allegedly said!
Turns out the neighbour who I mentioned it to was an absolute fruit cake who been stirring things up against me since the very start of the term. He left the university shortly afterwards, only to reappear at the summer ball at the end of the next year. By then I'd completely forgotten who he was, so didn't feel the need for payback.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff